PrinceFreakinCharming
by Zaney HacknSlash
Summary: Sequel to Leaves in the Wind: When Gojyo meets a special woman with a jealous boyfriend, his realtionships with his friends, specifically Hakkai, are strained, and the limits of his humanity are tested. No shonen ai pairings.
1. Chapter 1

Prince Freakin' Charming

Prince Freakin' Charming

_Why do you look so familiar?_

_I could swear that I have seen your face before_

_I think I like that you seem sincere_

_I think I'd like to get to know you a little bit more_

_I think there's something more_

_Life worth's living for_

_Who knows what could happen_

_Do what you do_

_Just keep on laughing_

_One thing's true_

_There's always a brand new day_

_I'm gonna live today like it's_

_My Last Day_

_-Avril Lavigne_

Prelude:

"Reality's a bitch… you can't blame all that crap on yourself…it wasn't because you didn't love her enough…Ah hell, like I'm one to talk.

_I don't have anything important in my life. I guess I really wouldn't know."_

_Just once…I think I want to know… What exactly is love? Not that I want it particularly. You don't need love to get laid._

_The love I couldn't get…_

_The love he couldn't protect._

_While blaming our own powerlessness_

_We're watching illusions fade into a sea of blood._

Chapter One: Damsel in Distress

Gojyo pressed his back up against Sanzo's, holding his shakujou tightly and grinning in spite of himself. Hakkai moved in next to him, his shoulder touching Gojyo's his back against Goku's, and the protective circle was complete.

"Damn, there are a lot of them today." The hybrid muttered.

"Yes, it would seem this is the largest group we've fought in several months."

"How annoying." Sanzo muttered.

"Guys, we don't got time for this! I'm hungry—we gotta' finish these uglies up fast so we can eat!"

Gojyo ignored Goku's complaints about hunger and glared back at the youkai nearest to him, a wiry, short man with harsh, blue eyes. He heard Sanzo cock his gun. Beside him Hakkai was gathering chi, ready to attack. The half-blood slid his hands along the shaft of his weapon, feeling the reassuring steel of it and taking a deep breath. Most of these youkai were weaklings, but there were so many of them that it didn't really matter how strong they were. Their sheer numbers might be enough to thwart the Sanzo team.

The leader youkai smiled viciously, pointed soundlessly at the foursome, giving a silent command to attack, and just like that, the whole mob was rushing at them, tongues hanging lose in their mouths, teeth and eyes gleaming in the light, claws stretched forward, aching to saw into warm flesh.

With a flick of his wrist, Gojyo sent the chain of his shakujou flying through the air, catching the light of the dying sun, the crescent shaped blade slicing smoothly through muscle and bone, blood spraying down in a bloody storm. It speckled his face and got lost in the crimson color of his hair.

His teammates were alive with movement in the same moment, Goku leaping up, nyoi-bo swinging back and forth, busting skulls and breaking bones, killing in an efficient, brutal manner; Hakkai released the chi he'd built in a deadly wave of heat, energy and light that engulfed his immediate enemies, blowing them back into trees and over the cliff they were precariously perched on. Through it all, Sanzo was standing perfectly still, firing his gun off, shot after shot. His aim was perfect, and he was able to kill many enemies by himself, but Gojyo couldn't help resenting his method of fighting. Everyone else actually had to put some effort into it.

A tall, blonde youkai ran at Sanzo's back, grinning like the devil; the priest didn't see him coming, went on shooting only what was directly in front of him.

"Dammit!" Gojyo mumbled. It was unusual for Sanzo to be careless enough to let someone come up behind him, but it did happen occasionally, and then one of his teammates had to save him. Gojyo twisted around and flung his arm in that direction, sending the blade and chain in a precise line toward Sanzo's assailant, just as the priest turned around. The blade severed the man at the waist and blood exploded from both halves of him, spattering the front of Sanzo's perfect, white robes. The youkai screamed and writhed in the dirt, dying slowly.

"Goddammit, Gojyo!" Sanzo screamed.

Gojyo grinned, and began to recoil his chain, but before he could make a smart ass comment, another youkai got in under his extended arm and sliced into his side.

"Gojyo!" Goku shouted.

A warm wash of blood spurted from the new wound. It was shallow though, since the man had been barely an arm's length away and his claws had only barely sunk in. It was slightly painful, but more than pained, Gojyo felt angry. That never would have happened if he hadn't dropped his defenses long enough to help Sanzo.

Over the last year of journeying, he'd fought tons upon tons of youkai, only very rarely getting hurt when one of the most powerful youkai went up against him. Sanzo barely even got hurt, mostly because his comrades were there to help him out. Being injured so trivially was humiliating, and if there had been any less youkai to face, it never would have happened.

Furious at the man who'd injured him, Gojyo slashed down through the shoulder with the other end of his shakujou, severing his arm, and then he kicked him in the stomach and sent him falling over the edge of the cliff.

That bought him an extra moment of peace and he pressed his free hand to the hot wound, putting his fingers in it to try and determine how deep it was. It wasn't too bad. Just annoying.

"Dammit."

Regardless of how minor the wound was, he was still injured, and this would definitely slow him down. He spun around, angrier than ever, killing four youkai with a single flash of his weapon.

The next thing he knew, Hakkai was beside him, looking worried, "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine. It's not bad."

Hakkai was distracted for a moment and had to pause to kill a few youkai who were getting closer, but then he took a second to asses the wound with his eyes, "I'll heal it as soon as we're done here; can you still fight?"

Gojyo's face and ears got slightly hot. He wasn't prone to blushing, but he didn't like being treated as inferior or incapable, so he repeated himself, "It's not bad: I'll be fine."

The fight raged on for a few minutes, and slowly the four of them began to thin down the number of assassins, but, as he had predicted, the wound slowed Gojyo down considerably, and he found himself falling back further and further, toward the edge of the cliff, as his friends advanced forward, barely aware. That made him all the angrier. Except for Sanzo, he was already the weakest of them, and he couldn't afford to let a wound get in the way. He slaughtered the next few youkai in a particularly ruthless way.

The youkai must have noticed that he was injured and thought he would make easy prey, because they began to close in on him, cutting him off from his comrades. That only enhanced the fury, and he killed them with relish.

Hakkai moved toward him, "There certainly are _a lot_ of them today."

Gojyo just mumbled, "Fucking bastards."

His friend looked at him out of the corner of his eye, "If the wound is giving you trouble, perhaps you should-"

"It's _not._" He snapped.

"Of course not…"

"Goddamn Sanzo…"

"Are you going to blame him?"

Gojyo snorted and decapitated another youkai, "Maybe."

Hakkai shook his head disapprovingly and began to say something, but didn't get the chance. A particularly large youkai jumped out of a tree right above them and landed so close in front of Gojyo the hybrid had to leap back in surprise, putting him dangerously close to the cliff's edge.

Grinning, the youkai shoved him the rest of the way, sending him off the edge of the cliff.

"Gojyo!" Hakkai jumped forward, just a little too late, clawing at the air in a futile attempt to grab the hybrid by the shirt.

Then Gojyo was falling. It was a strange sensation, and it seemed to take forever; at first it was unreal, just a gentle, backward motion, like taking an elevator down. His body fell, his stomach seeming to be pulled back up toward the cliff, along with his hair, limbs and clothes, Hakkai getting smaller and smaller at the top of the cliff. But after the moment of shock had passed, and Gojyo realized what was happening, that his feet were no longer safely planted on the ground, he waved his arms frantically and kicked back and forth, as if he were trying to fly. A scream tore from his lips.

He hit the river below hard and was plunged under, engulfed by ice-cold, blue green. His eyes were wide open. He stared through the murkiness, panicking as bubbles streamed from his open, screaming mouth. He hit the bottom, but not hard enough for it to hurt, and the current immediately began to drag him down stream, slamming him once or twice against a few rocks. Flailing his arms, Gojyo propelled himself up to the surface, gasping and sucking in air frantically, coughing up the water that had gotten into his lungs.

The hybrid whipped his hair back and forth, getting it out of his eyes, and looked around.

Already the current had taken him several yards from the point where he'd fallen, and he was being taken further and further from his comrades. Muttering curses, he began to swim, not daring to fight the current. He just needed to get to the bank so he could focus on getting back up the cliff.

On his right was a straight, rock wall, clean-cut and faceless, with very few handholds, and the stone looked smooth. That was where he'd fallen from.

On the other side was a glossy, green bank, wet and grassy, lined by tall, thick trees and weeds.

He swam for the bank and crawled up out of the water, getting up easily, shaking his hair and removing his jacket to try to wring it out. He coughed a little more and dropped onto the grass when he was a safe distance from the water, stared back up at the cliff, half-expecting to see Hakkai diving in after him, but there was no sign of any of his friends.

Again, he surveyed the cliff, searching for any place he might be able to climb back up, but as far as he could see, it was the same, even plane for all the way along the river.

Mumbling, he got up and tested his body for any breaks. He seemed fine, other than the slash in his side, so as long as he followed the river west he should run into the others eventually. They would finish with the youkai eventually, maybe in another half-hour or forty minutes, and then they'd be looking for him. Maybe. In any case, there was nothing to do but to keep moving and see if there was some way to get back to them.

With a sigh, Gojyo lit a new cigarette and began to walk along the bank, keeping his eyes on the cliff for any sign of the others.

The woods around him were peaceful and deep, the sun casting a somewhat green light on the ground, the trees throwing long, dark shadows in his path. There were a few bird calls, but for the most part, it was silent. He kept himself alert, just in case some of the assassins decided to make sure he was dead.

Really, he probably should have been dead, or at least injured. It had been a good drop from the cliff to the river, and he had barely missed the rocks. Even then, he should have drowned or something.

Gojyo shivered. The sun was setting, and the evening was coming in, making the world considerably cooler, and here he was, soaking wet. With the way his day was going, he'd probably get hypothermia and die.

It hadn't been too good a morning. Sanzo kicking him in the side had been the morning alarm, and then he'd been chewed out for letting the fire die. Goku had inhaled most of the food, leaving the others with only a very meager portion, so everyone had been irritable all day long. They'd gotten into Jeep and driven as far as they could on the road, Goku bitching about hunger and boredom and anything else that crossed his tiny mind. Eventually, Gojyo had gotten fed up with it and spent a few minutes yelling at Goku, until Sanzo had gotten fed up with that and turned around to hit him numerous times with the fan. Hakkai had been the only one who'd been tolerable for the whole day.

But Gojyo was having a hard time being annoyed with him lately. It had only been a month since Ikku, a fiercely strong youkai who had wanted revenge for friend lost in Hyakuganmaoh's castle, had killed Hakkai and sent Gojyo into that hellish period of life when the only thing he'd been able to think about was his best friend, lying there, dead, covered in blood. After he'd gone looking for Hazel, only to find that Hakkai's body was gone, Gojyo hunted down Ikku, and all the other demons and humans who had been involved in Hakkai's murder. He'd killed some of them, including Ikku, but it hadn't changed the fact that Hakkai was dead, and Gojyo had spent days, wandering alone with his anger and grief, blaming himself for his friend's death. Nothing had gotten through to him, not even when Sanzo had said he'd seen Hakkai and that he was alive.

Eventually Gojyo had gone looking for Sanzo and Goku, and had discovered that Hakkai really was alive, that he'd been revived by a youkai mage named Soo-Lin, and after helping his friend to remember the last four years, which had been lost somewhere in the process of dying and coming back, they had traveled on, things quickly going back to normal, except for the fact that Gojyo was reluctant to let Hakkai out of his sight.

It was a strange emotion, really, to be so constantly worried about someone, but those days when he'd been so sure that Hakkai was dead because of him had been so horrible, and so unbearable, like the worst nightmare he'd ever experienced, he hadn't been sure at the time that he could survive it. But Hakkai was okay now; he had most of his memories back, though he did need to be reminded of some events every now and then. And Gojyo was going to make sure it stayed that way.

The hybrid stopped suddenly.

He had come to a road that was running parallel to the river. It was a light, soft brown, but the dirt looked rich and there was a column of grass growing down the center, like not many people had walked there. He stood for several moments, looking up and down the road, trying to decide if he should follow it or stay on the river side. It looked like it came out of the deepest part of the forest, stretching back so far he could barely see it in the distance where the light was especially dim. But it ran forward, following the river perfectly for as far as he could see, reaching into the west. A road meant a town. And a town meant bars. Bars meant booze and cigarettes, cards and women. And food.

If there was a town nearby, Sanzo and the others would wind up there, eventually, even if they were just looking for him.

Decisively, Gojyo set out down the road, carrying his jacket over his shoulder and puffing casually on his cigarette. He was starting to dry off, even though he still felt cold; soon though, he hoped, he'd be warm and dry in a bar, surrounded by gorgeous, single girls. He smiled at the thought and walked slightly faster.

As he went along, the road seemed to get a little wider and a little more traveled; he even saw tire tracks from a wagon or a bicycle. There was definitely civilization of some kind nearby. The longer he walked, the further away the river seemed to get, and soon he was cut off from it by a thick wall of trees, and could barely hear its laughter across the distance. That bothered him a little, since he couldn't see the cliff anymore, and therefore, if they came looking for him, he wouldn't be able to see his friends. He put that out of his head, assuming they would catch up to him as long as they were going in the same direction.

He must have gone a couple miles before it started to get darker, and he began to get anxious for the town. His wound was really bothering him now, sharply aching when he walked and breathed, and he was worried that the smell of blood would attract wild animals. Or hungry youkai. Gojyo walked a little fast, whistled to himself to try to keep his mind occupied with something other than danger.

Up ahead he could hear the creaking of wheels, a distant, vague sound; he paused and held his breath to listen, just to make sure that's really what it was. When he was positive that there was some kind of a vehicle in front of him, Gojyo hurried forward, all but running around the bend.

But he stopped short.

Immediately after he turned the bend the tree line ended and there was a long, steep hill directly in front of him, so steep it looked like it lead right up into the painted, evening sky.

And in the middle of the road was a young woman. She was shorter than he would have liked, dressed in modest clothing with long sleeves, a long skirt that covered everything but her feet, and a collar that closed around her neck. Even so, he could see that her figure was slim and perfect and beautiful. Her long, black hair was swept up into a very modest bun, but that only exposed her slender neck and beautiful face. It was an angel's face, shapely and small with a well-structured jaw and a dainty nose. Her eyes were large and almond-shaped, a bright, crystalline blue. Both of her hands gripped the handle of a small, bright red, tin wagon that was loaded with groceries. She was staring right at him, pink mouth open a little, cheeks flushed from exertion. Her skin was a dark tan, like a lot of people here in the far west.

"Oh." Gojyo said stupidly. "Uh, hi." _What the hell? Hi? Since when do I say hi to a woman?_ He cleared his throat and struggled to correct himself, searching desperately for some smooth, suggestive words that would make her laugh and blush, but they wouldn't come, and he found himself simply staring back at her, clearing his throat again and again.

Eventually the woman spoke, "Can I help you? Are you lost?"

"Who? Me?"

Blinking once, she nodded, "Of course."

"Oh, uh, no. Not me. I'm…just heading west."

The woman looked interested, "You're a traveler?" Then she reassessed him, "It doesn't look like you have any baggage at all. Don't you even have a sleeping bag?"

"What? No. I mean. Well, I _do_ but…"

"Did you lose it?"

For the second time that day, Gojyo felt his face warming up. He didn't understand what was happening. Normally he was a smooth-talking fiend when it came to women. Normally he swept them off their feet and got them into the bed when he'd only just learned their names, and they were happy to oblige, but this girl was different, and for some reason he was stumbling all over himself. He tucked hair behind his ear. Realized that exposed his scars and covered them again. Put his hands in his pockets and toyed with his lighter. Took them out again to sweep hair out of his eyes. He felt so nervous it wasn't even logical.

"I actually…I got separated from the guys I'm traveling with…my stuff's still with them."

"Separated?" She looked him up and down, "Did you get wet somewhere?"

He laughed forcibly, "No, but I will soon, if you let me."

The girl just looked at him with solemn eyes. And rightly so. The joke didn't even make much sense.

He cleared his throat again, "Sorry. I, uh, fell in the river."

"Oh!" She put a hand to her mouth, "My goodness! Are you okay?"

"Uh, yeah…I'm fine. It was just a little inconvenient." He kicked at the dirt. He wanted to get away from this strange girl who was making him feel so nervous, but he couldn't move. He couldn't keep walking, go right past her and ignore her. He didn't want to. "So, is there a town nearby?"

The woman began to pull the wagon again, voice strained by the effort of dragging her load up the hill, "You could call it that if you want to. There's not much in it."

"But it is a town, right?"

"Uh-huh. I'm going there right now."

"Does it have a bar?"

"Just one. It's a shitty little place, if you know what I mean."

He laughed, a little too loud.

"It's the only town around for miles though; your friends will probably wind up there if they're going west too. If you want to come along with me, I can help you get settled in."

Gojyo really wanted to say that would be great and make some kind of stupid, suggestive joke about sharing a room or something, but all that came out was, "Yeah. Thanks."

The girl held out her hand, "I'm Jiya."

He took it carefully. It was smooth and soft like silk, warm like summer. "Jiya…" it was a pretty name, and he liked the way it rolled off his tongue. Something about it made him think of Jien. The sound was similar. "I'm Gojyo."

Jiya smiled for the first time since they'd met; and hers was a face made to smile. The expression in her eyes lit up and dimples appeared in her cheeks, and her whole face glowed brightly, like the sun. It made him feel warm all over, and a shiver sped right through his spine, up into his brain. He held her hand a little longer than he meant to.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Gojyo."

"Yeah…"

She giggled slightly, and went back to pulling the wagon.

It took the hybrid a moment to realize he should help, and he went around to the front, "Uh, so, that looks pretty heavy."

"It is. I've been pulling it for miles, ever since I left the last town."

"Uh, I meant, if you want, I'd be happy to pull it for you…"

Jiya gave him a look, then sort of laughed to herself, "Okay, sure. If you want." She handed the handle to him, "Help yourself."

Gojyo grinned and took the wagon handle, began to pull it up the hill while Jiya walked beside him, stretching her arms. It was a little heavy, but not too bad for him. He could easily get it up the hill.

For a few moments, they walked in silence, then she asked, "So, Gojyo, where are you and your friends going?"

"Oh, just west…we're sort of on a business trip."

"And where are you from?"  
"Way, way back east. We've been on the road for over a year."

Jiya gave him a startled look, "That long? Wow, I bet you've seen a lot of exotic places."

"Nah. We're in a hurry. Not much time for tourism."

"Isn't it dangerous though? Traveling with so many youkai around?"

"Let's just say they don't like messing with us. We hold our own."

She laid her soft, warm hand on his forearm and murmured, "You must be really strong."

The touch made Gojyo wild; his face and ears burned and his stomach shuddered, full of crazy butterflies. He hadn't reacted this strongly to a woman since he was a kid.

His tongue got twisted as he tried to speak, "So, uh…so, do you live in the town or…?"

"Yes. I've lived there my whole life, unfortunately."

"You don't like it?"  
"Not at all," she shook her head, "it's too small, and the people are hateful. Everyone gossips and gets into other people's business. It's small, so there's no market, and I have to walk five miles every week to buy food for my family."

Gojyo's heart sank, "You've got a husband and kids, huh?"

She snorted, "Hell no. I've got a fat boyfriend who thinks that we're married, but no husband, and definitely no kids."

"You're not married to him?"

"No. And I don't want to be."

"But he makes you do all the shopping? I mean, it's dangerous, isn't it? These woods are crawling with youkai."

"He's too much of a coward to go himself, or even to just come with me. I'd leave him in an instant, if I had somewhere else to go, but my parents are dead; they died in a fire a few years ago, and left me with nothing. I live with my boyfriend, because he provides for me. That's it." Her eyes were burning fiercely now, "Believe me, if I had another choice, I'd have left him years ago."

"That's too bad." He murmured, dwelling on the hand that still rested on his arm.

"What is?"

Finally, Gojyo was able to say something right; he looked at her and smiled his most daring, charming smile, "I just hate to see a bird in a cage."

Jiya stared back at him, her crisp blue eyes wide with wonder, her mouth parted and shivering slightly; they had reached the top of the hill, and the sunset made her glow a radiant orange. The wind played with her stray strands of hair. For a long time, they just looked at each other.

At last, Jiya pointed down the hill, "See? There's my town."

Gojyo forced himself to tear his eyes away and looked to where she was pointing. About a mile away was a tiny composition of buildings and streets, surrounded by forest on all sides.

She sighed, "It's sill going to be a good twenty minutes before we're there."

"Not necessarily." Gojyo smiled at her.

Jiya gave him a confused look, "What?"

"I've got an idea." He rolled the wagon back and forth, testing how well it rolled; it creaked a little, but the wheels seemed well-oiled. "It's all downhill from here, right? Get in the wagon."

The girl just stared at him like he was crazy, "You want me to get in the wagon?"

"Yeah, and we'll just coast into town."

Jiya looked doubtful, but he urged her, and she eventually gave in, mumbling as she did so, "I really meet the weirdest people."

Gojyo laughed to himself, and gripped the side of the wagon, putting his jacket in and then grabbing the handle; his heart felt a little tense as he tossed his cigarette down and crushed it, "'Kay, you ready?"

"We're gonna' die." She mumbled, hanging onto the sides of the wagon and gritting her teeth.

"Nah. We'll be fine." He started to push the wagon, over the crest of the hill and then down until it started to gather speed. Soon it was flying along and he had to run to keep up. Grinning at Jiya hugely, he jumped in and grabbed the handle.

The wagon bounced wildly down the hill, jig-jogging back and forth, speeding over ruts and hills, a cloud of dust flying up behind it, the wheels shuddering from the speed. Gojyo's hair flew back in the wind, and Jiya's bun came undone. The girl gave a high, shrill scream and threw her arms around his waist, holding on tightly and screaming again, "Make it stop!"

He just laughed, "I can't."

Gojyo wrenched the handle hard to the right to avoid hitting a large tree branch that had fallen into the middle of the road. The town was getting closer and closer; a cat wandered across the path and he swerved to try to hit it, but the creature leapt agilely out of the way and then hissed angrily.

People had gathered at the bottom of the hill and were staring, pointing and talking amongst themselves.

The hybrid heard Jiya screaming and laughed, "Relax a little, would ya? It'll be fine."

Soon they were within the boundaries of the town, the wagon wheels hopping along the rough, cobblestone road, people dodging to get out of the way, older people shaking their heads in disapproval and then going back inside. Gojyo yanked back hard on the wagon and it began to get slower and slower, coasting easily to as stop, and dust settled in a cloud around them.

Jiya was panting and still holding on tight, her hair a mess, her eyes wide, body trembling, but her mouth was smiling sharply.

He jumped out and offered her his hand, "There you are, Miss, safe at home."

She was trembling so hard she just about fell as she got out of the wagon, and he swept her up into his arms so that their faces were just inches apart, and Gojyo really wanted to kiss her. He forced himself to abstain, since she belonged to another man.

"Oh…my…God," Jiya heaved as he put her back on her feet, "that was terrifying…but…I haven't had so much fun in so long…"

He grinned, "You're welcome."

She didn't answer for a moment, kept her back to him, and then reached and grabbed his jacket, inspecting it carefully for a few seconds before she whirled around, face filled with horror, hair tumbling down around her shoulders, "Gojyo-San! You're bleeding!"

"What?" He had totally forgotten about the wound from earlier, and he looked down at it now, "Oh, yeah. I forgot."

"You're hurt! And I made you pull my wagon for me!"

"Really, it's not that bad. I don't even feel it."

Jiya knelt in front of him, even with everyone watching, and peeled his shirt up to get a look at it. Gojyo jumped in surprise when she touched the sensitive, damaged skin and gritted his teeth. Her fingers were so smooth, and cool to the wound, it was soothing in a way.

"You shouldn't have exerted yourself."

Now he was shaking, but he wasn't sure why. "I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

The girl opened her mouth to say more, but a loud, booming voice cut her off, "Jiya! What are you doing?"

She leapt up immediately, struggling to get her hair back in a bun, and Gojyo looked around just in time to see a huge man emerge from the crowd. He had dark hair and skin like Jiya, but his eyes looked black; he was built like an ox, standing about six-six and weighing about three hundred pounds. He looked mean. Meaner than mean.

"Shen!" Jiya smiled but Gojyo could see how forced it was, "I brought the groceries you wanted."

The man stopped in front of her, jaw set, and it looked for a minute like he was going to hit her. If he did, Gojyo didn't have any qualms about killing him. But in the end, the man just snapped, "What's your hair doing down? Fix it!"

"Of course, Shen." Jiya said quietly, putting her hair back into the prudish bun. That was disappointing since her hair had been so gloriously shiny when it was down.

Shen pointed a thick finger at Gojyo, "Who's this kid? What are you doing with him?"

"Oh, this is Gojyo-San: he's a traveler I met on the road, and he needs a place to stay. I thought we could put him in an extra room."

Gojyo glared back at Shen, not even wanting to pretend to be polite. He lit another cigarette.

"No. He can't stay with us. What do you think this is, a bed and breakfast?"

"But Shen, he's hurt!"

"I don't care! He can't stay in my house!"

"Well, where's he supposed to go? There's no inn in town. Do you expect him to walk the whole five miles back to the next closest town? It'll be dark soon."

"Where he goes is not my problem, Jiya! Not get these groceries inside."

Gojyo opened his mouth to tell Shen that treating his woman like property probably wouldn't get him any loving at night, but a sharp look from Jiya silenced him, and her tone dropped, "Please Shen, please, it would mean so much to me, if you would just let him stay with us for one night."

Shen sneered and started to say no again, but stopped and seemed to become suddenly aware of all the people standing around, witnessing him turning a stranger out. So then he snorted, "He can't stay for free, Jiya;" he looked at Gojyo menacingly, "Hear that, kid? If you're gonna' stay with us, you'd better pay up."

"Pay?" Gojyo turned his pockets inside out, producing only small change, ""What, you want a cigarette?"

"If you can't pay then you can help me with the chores tonight and tomorrow morning."

"Shen-"

"There's plenty to do around her: wood to chop, horses to feed. Plenty."

"Shen, he shouldn't be chopping wood when he's-"

"Shut up, Jiya."

Gojyo looked at him contemptuously, nodded slowly, "Fine, I'll chop your damn wood."

Shen snorted and turned to go inside, shouting at Jiya as he did so, "Get the food inside."

Once he was gone, Gojyo mumbled, "'S he always like that?"

"More or less. Sometimes worse."

"And you put up with it? Damn, if I were you, I'd be giving him the bob-it treatment."

Jiya chortled slightly, "He feeds me, that's all that matters."

"He acts like an over-controlling mother. How much of an age difference is between you?"

She shrugged and grabbed a bag of food, "He's almost thirty. I'm eighteen."

"That's a little gross. If I were you, I'd leave him for some hot, young guy."

Jiya gave him a plaintive smile, "Things aren't always that easy, Gojyo."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Rogue

Chapter Two: Rogue

"Gojyo!" Hakkai fell to his knees on the edge of the cliff, watching in horror as his friend fell straight into the river, far below, and disappeared. Several moments later, he surfaced, further down stream, gasping for breath and fighting the current, but it dragged him along mercilessly.

"Hakkai, watch it!" Sanzo warned, and Hakkai turned to blast through the youkai that had pushed Gojyo over the edge, and by the time he turned around again, Gojyo was gone. He searched the water frantically, looking for any sign of crimson red, but Gojyo was nowhere to be seen. Had he been dragged under?

Goku finished off a few of the last youkai and ran over to Hakkai, also crouching down and straining to see, "Man, he fell right in! D'ya' think he's okay?"

Hakkai shook his head, "There's no way to be sure. Gojyo's a decent swimmer, but that current is strong, and I have no doubt it will carry him miles away unless he gets to the shore.

A gunshot behind them signified that Sanzo had found at least one more youkai to kill. The fact that he was showing no concern annoyed Hakkai.

"Yeah, but, he's not gonna' drown, is he? He was hurt, right? Ya' think it was enough t' make him too weak to swim?"

"As far as I saw, the wound he had was not very serious; of course, I didn't have any time to really examine it, so it could have been much worse than it looked. Whatever the case, it's important that we find him before any leftover youkai do." Hakkai turned to Sanzo, who was standing still and looking with disdain at the blood on his robes, "Sanzo, I'm sure you're eager to keep moving, but Gojyo surely isn't that far away, and it's important that we do our best to find him."

Sanzo only muttered, "Shit for brains got blood on my robes."

"Well, in his defense, he was trying to protect you, Sanzo."

The Priest looked at him frowningly, "Admit it, Hakkai, you just don't like being away from him after that ordeal with Ikku."

Hakkai felt insulted by the words, "I suggest you don't sneer about that, Sanzo, seeing how it was traumatic for all of us. In any case, we're going to look for Gojyo, and frankly I don't think you'll get very far if you try to go west by yourself.

Sanzo scowled, "Fine, Hakkai, fine. Let's go and find that asshole then. And then we've got to keep moving."

They walked a ways along the cliff until the river below them narrowed out into a smaller creek and they were able to climb down and cross to the other side, and then they spent a few hours searching the surrounding area, calling Gojyo's name and looking for any sign that he was alive or dead. Sanzo grumbled a lot and Goku complained a little about food, but they continued looking diligently until the sky was dark and it was too difficult to search.

Hakkai began to despair, and a million doubts raced through his head. Anything could have gone wrong. Gojyo was injured and therefore would be easy for anything, beast or youkai, to find. Depending on the severity of the wound, he might be able to defend himself, or he might be taken down easily. Depending on the severity of the wound, he might be dead along the bank somewhere, or at the bottom of the river, or he might be looking for them. It all just depended on that wound.

As the moon began to rise, Hakkai stood alone on the edge of the river, thinking over and over about how he could have prevented this if he had been quicker or more alert. He just kept seeing the look on Gojyo's face as he fell over the edge: shocked and disbelieving.

He was so involved in his thoughts, he barely realized Sanzo coming to stand beside him, puffing a cigarette and blowing cool, blue smoke into the air, "You shouldn't worry so much, Hakkai, this is different than the last time. This was an accident. That's all."

Hakkai forced a laugh, "Of course, there are no similarities at all: I'm sure that if we keep looking, we'll eventually find him. The only question is whether he's alive or not."

"I don't think he was hurt that bad. He didn't act like he was."

"But I'm sure there were rocks at the bottom of the river."

"Hn. You're being uncharacteristically pessimistic."

"In that case, should we say that you, Sanzo, are being uncharacteristically _optimistic?_" Sanzo didn't answer and Hakkai laughed to himself for a moment, before he looked away, "I'm sorry, Sanzo, but it was only a month ago, you know, and it's still hard to accept what happened."

"We might as well get a leash for that cockroach."

"Yes, that does seem best, doesn't it?"

"Hey, guys!" Goku ran suddenly out of the woods, looking excited, "guess what I found!"

Both adults turn to him, and Sanzo threatened, "If this is about food, Goku, I'll hurt you so bad you'll never think about being hungry again."  
"I found a road! It heads west—I bet that means there's a town somewhere! Maybe if we hurry, we can find a place to stay!"

"Ah, Goku, you might recall, we're looking for Gojyo."

"Yeah, but it's dark now; anyway, we haven't seen any sign of him, so what if he followed the road, knowin' we'd end up there too?"

"I'm afraid it's a little difficult to imagine Gojyo thinking that logically."

"Hakkai," Sanzo dragged on the cigarette, "it's too dark to find him now, assuming he's even still out here. I think if he _were_ still out here we'd have found him by now. The river tapers into a creek here, so right at this point he could have probably gotten up and walked away. I think, since we're not tripping over his body in the dark, we should assume he's alive and head for the nearest town."

To Hakkai's dissatisfied look, he added, "We can look more in the morning if you want, but we're not wasting a whole day looking for that cretin."

"But Sanzo-"

"No Hakkai. If you want, you can stay as long as you want and look for him, but we're moving on."

"I'm tellin' you guys, he follow'd the road and is at the inn, right now, waiting for us, drinkin', smokin' an' playin' cards!"

With a sigh, Hakkai turned to follow Sanzo, "I hope so Goku."

Goku led the way back to the road and they followed if out of the woods; in less than an hour they had reached a small, pitiful town. There were no inns to stay at, but after asking around a little, they were able to find an elderly couple who had an extra room they would let them stay in.

"It's very strange to have a town that doesn't offer the service of an inn," Hakkai commented at dinner. He was a little too concerned to focus on eating, but he didn't want to worry about Gojyo, so he did his best to make conversation with their hosts.

"Well, sir, we used to have an inn here," said the old man.

"Used t'?" Goku looked up from his food for a minute, "what happened to it? Did th' youkai tear it down or somethin'?"  
The man's wife laughed enthusiastically, "Good heavens, no! It was burned to the ground in a terrible fire, just a few years ago. Biggest tragedy this town has seen in years: three people died. A mother, a father, and their son."

"That's very sad." Hakkai said, mostly to distract himself, "Were they well-liked here in town?"

"Oh yes. They were a very friendly couple—they'd take in anyone."

The old man nodded and chewed for a moment before adding, "They even took in a child of taboo once."

Hakkai and the other two all looked up simultaneously, and then exchanged glances; Sanzo said carefully, "a human-youkai hybrid? I'm sure that didn't go over well."

"No, as a matter of fact, it didn't" the old woman's eyes sparkled, and it was obviously she liked being the informer, "You see, the couple had a beautiful daughter, who was only sixteen back then, and Lee, the young man who was staying there, took a great interest in her. Many of us actually believe that she cared for him, but she had a jealous lover."

"What happened t' him?" Goku looked up, noodles hanging out of his mouth.

"Her lover killed him."

The tension in the air thickened and Hakkai sat totally quiet, trying to process that information. Goku voiced the question he was burning to ask.

"He _killed_ a half-blood? Aren't they…" he looked nervously at the nasty look Sanzo was giving him, "Strong?"

"Well, I'm no expert, but rumor has it that they're at least as strong as a normal youkai, and sometimes stronger."

"How did he kill 'im then? Seems kinda' weird t' me."

The old man looked at Goku seriously, "Well son, it wasn't exactly a fair fight. See, that man had a lot of influence here and town, and he put together a mob to hunt down and kill Lee. No one's really sure what it is they did to him. But we're sure it wasn't nice. 'Course no one got too upset. He was only a half-blood."

For some reason, Hakkai felt dizzy. His hands were shaking a little, and there was anger burning in his soul. He pushed the rage aside and asked another question, growing more and more curious about the story, "Whatever happened to the daughter? If the rest of her family died, where did she go?"

"Oh, she still lives here in town, down the street a ways actually. She's a good girl, but she lives with the most brutal man I've ever met. He runs her around and makes her do his work; he won't let her have a job or even dress the way she wants."

Goku looked a little horrified, "Why not?"

"Well, she's a very beautiful girl, and he doesn't want anyone else looking at her," the old woman smiled softly, " but men have looked. And they always get run out of town or killed for it."

Even Sanzo was taking interest by this time. That surprised Hakkai, since Sanzo wasn't the type to get involved with spats like this, "But they aren't married?"

"No. Not yet. But I'm sure the will be some day, and then who knows if we'll ever see her again.." The old woman leaned back and stared up at the ceiling, "Ah, that poor girl. What she needs is a knight in shining armor."

After dinner, the trio were shown to the extra room. It was small, but there were twin beds, and one cot sitting between them. Once they were alone, Goku flopped down on the bed nearest the window, "Ahhhh, that was great! It's been forever since we had real, good food."

The other two ignored him, and began discussing plans for the morning. That frustrated him a little. Normally Gojyo was there to banter with, but Sanzo and Hakkai were much too serious for that. He wondered where Gojyo was. It didn't seem very likely that he was dead or something like that; in fact, Goku was sure he'd made it to this very town and found a place to stay the night. They'd probably run into him in the morning. Hopefully. The last time they had all gotten separated had been bad enough, and it definitely wasn't something he wanted to go through again, if he could help it.

After the other two had been talking for a moment, he said, "Guys, I just can't stop thinkin' 'bout that story th' old people told us. You know, about that guy killin' th' half-blood just 'cause he was interested in his girlfriend."

Hakkai sighed, "Yes, well, I'm sure it had less to do with the fact that he was interested in his woman and more to do with what he actually was. This world isn't fair, Goku, and few people have tolerance for those who are different than themselves."

"I really can't imagine any man handing his daughter to a hybrid-youkai or human-and I really can't imagine any woman being truly interested in the first place. That's just the way it is." Sanzo added, crushing his cigarette out.

The words made Goku sit up straight, "Wait a minute. The way you guys're talkin'…what 'bout Gojyo? He's real popular with girls."

"He _thinks_ he is. Pompous, delusional bastard." Sanzo snorted. "I've seen more women take an interest in me than in Gojyo."

Hakkai laughed, "Perhaps that's just _your_ pompous delusion."

Sanzo glared but Hakkai kept talking like he didn't notice.

"You see, Goku, even though Gojyo is very good with women, I don't necessarily think that means they would ever want to take him home to meet their parents, if you follow what I mean."  
"Huh?" Goku just gave him a blank look.

"Let me see if I can re-phrase that. To women, some men are fun to flirt with, but they are not at all the kind of quality they are looking for in a husband. And as Sanzo said, it would be rare to meet a parent who would be willing to give his daughter in marriage to a hybrid."

For a moment, Goku just looked at Hakkai, not sure what to say, "So that means that…even if Gojyo fell in love with someone…"

"Hah." Sanzo snorted, "Gojyo in love. If he could stop thinking about sex for ten minutes he might actually have the brain capacity to process what love is."

"It does seem somewhat unlikely."

"Yeah but…" Goku laid back again, thinking it over once more. So if a human wouldn't want to marry a hybrid, and a youkai wouldn't want to marry a hybrid, what did that leave? Another hybrid? "How many hybrids do ya' think're out there?"

"In my whole life, traveling and all considered," Hakkai, paced the room thoughtfully, "I've only seen one. And that was Gojyo."

"So they're pretty rare, huh?"

"Apparently so. Although, I suppose they might have some secret organization only they are aware of."

"A whole secret club fulla' Gojyo's?"

"Or something like that."

Goku wrinkled his nose and rolled over to look out the window. "Sounds like a pretty lonely world."

Hakkai smiled, "Yes, I suppose it is."

"Blah." Sanzo started up another cigarette and unfolded his newspaper, "The world doesn't need anymore Gojyos as far as I'm concerned."

The smile on Hakkai's face deepened, "Oh, but the surplus of cranky Sanzos is fine."

Muttering, Sanzo cracked open a beer.

"Guys, do ya think that guy that killed th' other hybrid is still around here some place? I mean, d'ya think he'd run Gojyo outta' town?"

"We're not staying long enough to find out."

Hakkai took the question a little more seriously, went to stand beside Goku, "I'm not sure, Goku. I suppose, we can only hope, that if Gojyo doesn't go chasing the wrong women, everything will be fine."

Gojyo lay perfectly still as Jiya soaked her rag in soapy water and sponged blood off his chest. The chemicals burned and sizzled on his wound, making it sting, and he bit back a wince. "You don't have to do this," he told her, "I've got a friend who has the ability to heal people."

She gave him a skeptical look, but only said, "Well, we don't know when you'll see him again, and we don't want this to get infected." She set the rag aside and got out a fresh roll of gauze as he lit another cigarette, then he sat up straight and raised his hands over his head.

"Do you always smoke like this, or are you just nervous?"

Gojyo laughed and almost lost the cigarette, "I always smoke like this." But he wondered if he wasn't nervous too. "Why would you think I'm nervous?"

"Oh, I don't know," she began to wrap the bandages around his waist, the smooth, warmth of her hands gliding over his skin making him ache for her, "I guess Shen is a pretty intimidating man."

"That dick doesn't scare me."

"Well, he probably should. He's a very dangerous man: no one in town will stand up to him."

Gojyo just snorted, "I could take him."

Jiya smiled sadly, "Oh, you're one of _those _guys."

"Er. Excuse me?"

"Tough-talkin' idiots. Guys who think they can kick ass but get their lights knocked out in a fight. I've seen Shen put lots of your kind down."

Gojyo felt his face go as red as his hair, and he stuttered for words for a moment before he realized there was nothing he could say without giving away the fact that he was part of the Sanzo team, so he shut his mouth tight, letting his offense swallow him temporarily.

Jiya seemed to sense his mood and sighed as she finished wrapping the gauze and started to tend to a small cut on his forehead, "I'm not saying that to be a bitch, Gojyo, but…well, Shen has done some things…bad things…"

Gojyo tried to push his indignation away, "Like what?"

"Well, he killed a man once, the same summer my parents died."

"Good for him. Did he get a cookie?"

When she didn't laugh, he asked, "What did he kill him for?"

"Oh, well, that's the funny part of course. He was just a guy who was staying at our in, a year or two older than me, and Shen says he killed him because we were spending too much time together…"

"But?"

"But…Lee was different. He wasn't like us…and Shen is horribly prejudice."

"Youkai huh?" Gojyo mumbled.

"No," Jiya looked him right in the eyes, "he was a half-breed. Sweetest man that ever lived."

For a long time Gojyo just looked at her, trying to decide what to think, and Jiya looked back at him, obviously waiting for some reaction.

At last the hybrid muttered, "Y' know, that's really un-cute, girlie."

She only looked confused, "What?"

"You're just trying to scare me."

"Scare you? Why would I want to scare you?"

Gojyo scoffed, "Well, unless you're blind…"

"Is that what you think?" Jiya touched the scarred side of his face, "Gojyo, I'm just trying to warn you…Shen probably hasn't noticed yet, since he didn't see you in the daylight, but when he does…"

Angrily, he pushed her hand away, "Look, Jiya, I ain't scared of your goddamn boyfriend. I don't have any need to be. Shit, I've been fightin' off youkai for the last year: I ain't the type to fall over and die just cause some pissant has some kinda' prejudice. I've fought guys a helluva' lot tougher than that asswipe, and I do just fine."

"Right." She brushed her fingers slowly across his stomach where the wound she'd just wrapped up still throbbed, then ran them up over his chest and neck, to the scars on his cheek, "What about these then?"

"They aren't from a youkai." He lied. Technically they were, but there was no reason to go into the technicalities.

"Just be warned. And don't let Shen find out what you are."

Gojyo laughed bitterly, "Yeah, yeah, story of my life; put on some sunglasses or they'll friggin' hate you. I have no reason to hide what I am. I'm used to getting shit flung in my face."

Jiya sighed and frowned, "You certainly are a stubborn one, aren't you?"

"Red hair. We're temperamental." He forced a grin.

"Well," Jiya leaned over, her warm breath was sweet like candy, feathering over his face; she pressed her smooth, cool lips to his forehead, and Gojyo felt like he'd been zapped by an electric shock. He wanted to grab her and kiss her back, but he couldn't even move. "Good night, Gojyo-San."

"G'night."

Then she turned away, natural sway of her hips catching his eye, and left.

Gojyo sighed and fell back onto the pillow, annoyed with himself and his behavior, annoyed with Jiya thinking he was a pussy, even when it wasn't her fault. It made him really want to kick Shen's ass just to show he could.

His hand drifted up to his forehead where he could almost still feel the kiss. It made him lightheaded and unsure of himself, which was a new sensation. He was always sure of himself when it came to women; what was so different about Jiya? Was it just the fact that he could never have her? Maybe it was because she was in a totally different class from him. And he knew it.

"Don't torture yourself." He mumbled, crushing his cigarette and rolling over to turn off the light.

The morning was announced by a loud, clanging bell, and Shen came in, uninvited, without warning, "All right, kid, off your ass and out the door."

Gojyo rolled over. He felt like he had only closed his eyes a minute or two ago, "Wha?"

"You said you'd help me with the chores to pay for staying the night? Well, it's chore time, so get your ass moving."

"Some way to treat a friggin' guest." Gojyo mumbled, sitting up and fumbling with his boots. He got better service when he shared a room with Sanzo.

"You're not a guest kid. You're here completely unwanted and unwelcome."

Gojyo muttered a few choice words under his breath, struggled into his shirt and pulled his jacket on, then followed Shen out of the house, "What about breakfast?" he yawned.

"Later. After the chores."

"Damn, it's still dark out."

"Here's the axe," Shen shoved the tool at him, "there's the wood. Now if you get moving maybe you'll be done by breakfast."

Annoyed, Gojyo watched his not-so-gracious host walk away towards the barn, then stretched a little, taking his time before he actually started to chop the wood.

It took him a little while to remember how it was done, since he hadn't chopped wood or anything even remotely similar since he and the others had spent a few days with Yakumo, but eventually he got the hang of it and managed to chop some of in one swing.

When it felt like he'd chopped fifty logs, Gojyo decided that ought to be enough, dropped the axe and sat down for a smoke break. He was only there a minute when Shen came back, scowling ferociously.

"Hey there, boss. Smoke?"  
"I can't believe this. You actually think you're done? You've only been out here ten minutes, and you've been sitting on your ass for five!"

"What are you talkin' about?" Gojyo tossed the cigarette down, "I chopped your damn wood."

"You didn't finish though."

"Like hell I didn't! How much more goddamn wood do you need?"

"Enough to last a few days, not just for this morning!"

"Bite me, chump! I only stayed in your crappy little place 'cause your girlfriend has a thing for me!" Gojyo had meant for the words to be sharp and biting, but as soon as they were out, he knew he'd made a mistake.

Shen's face got dark, turning first bright red, and then darker red, and finally turning purple. His eyebrows knit together in a tight, black knot over his eyes, which were quickly clouding up and shining hard, like onyx. The man reached down with one huge hand and fisted it in Gojyo's shirt collar, dragging him up to his feet and glaring into his eyes, "Don't you ever talk about my woman, you understand, punk? Don't talk about her, don't look at her, don't think about her. She's mine."

"Pretty possessive there, asswipe. What's the matter? You afraid she'll run out on you the minute she sees anything else with a dick?"

Shen clenched his other enormous hand into a fist and looked ready to use it. Gojyo was prepared to break his wrist and cut his head off, but the blow never came. Instead a look of realization came creeping into Shen's features, and soon he was staring, open face, jaw hanging lax, like he'd seen a ghost. "You…"

"What the hell's your problem?"

A haunting grin stole across the man's mouth, his lips peeling back to reveal slightly yellowed teeth. "You've got red eyes, kid."

"Yeah." Gojyo grabbed Shen's wrist and wrenched himself free, took a step back to get some space, but not enough to let Shen think he was afraid, "And yours are shit-brown. You gonna' make something of it?"

Shen chuckled, "What was your name again, city-slick? Gojyo? Well Gojyo," he lashed out quickly, grabbing a handful of Gojyo's long, crimson hair and dragging him closer so that they were face to face again, "you'd better watch your back." A wad of spit launched from his mouth when he pronounced the word back and hit Gojyo square in the face. Shen tossed him to the ground and stormed away.

Cussing loudly, Gojyo got up again, wiping the spit out of his eyes and shouting threats, "You know where you can shove your wood, dick face!!!"

Picking his jacket up, he turned to walk away from the house forever.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: Hero

Chapter Three: Hero

Sanzo woke up painfully early and lay awake for hours, staring at the ceiling and fighting his craving for a cigarette. Normally he wouldn't have denied himself, but he didn't think it was right to light up in another man's house, so he refrained. The room was full of its own scents and sounds anyway: freshly cleaned linen, flowers outside, potpourri, the sound of Goku snoring from his place on the cot, and Hakkai mumbling in his sleep about astronomy. It already promised to be a bizarre morning.

At last, Sanzo got tired of lying there, got up and went to wash his face. He snuck downstairs to have a cigarette. No one was up in the house, and it was quiet and peaceful. Outside, some people were just beginning to stir, tending to chickens and horses, and other livestock. He inhaled a deep breath of the fresh air and looked around at the woods. He'd take nature over a crowded city any day. There were too many people in a city. Too many stupid, messed up people; and out here it was peaceful and calm, easy-going. He didn't want to even think of going home when all this was over. His life as a Sanzo priest had been so demanding.

When the cigarette was burned out, Sanzo decided to take a short walk down the street to see what kinds of services the town had to offer. It would be nice if there was some place to stock up on supplies. The morning got brighter and brighter as he went, and the town appeared more and more peaceful. A group of children walking to school stopped to stare at him and whisper. A housewife hanging laundry out to dry waved and smiled. This place was _too_ peaceful There was no sign at all of any youkai attacks.

That didn't mean there hadn't been though. After all, there'd been such a huge swarm of youkai just a few miles from here, why shouldn't there be any attacks?

As he walked people passed him, and since they didn't know who he was, they naturally wanted to stop and talk to him about where he'd been. Normally Sanzo gave them a few terse answers, made an inquiry or two about Gojyo, and then kept going.

No one had seen a guy with red hair. Apparently someone had come into town last night, a few hours before Sanzo and his company had arrived, but it had been dark, and Sanzo got lots of mixed stories about what color his hair had been. Either way, it was the best bet he had, so he found out that the traveler was staying with a man named Shen near the center of the town. He went that way.

Sanzo walked about ten minutes in one direction, still searching to no avail for a place to buy groceries. There was no sign of Gojyo either. Maybe the hybrid was dead somewhere. That wouldn't be any good, as much as he would enjoy it, it would only send the team into yet another state of irreversible chaos. He turned a corner, mumbling to himself, and ran headlong into another person.

"God _dammit_ asshole! Don't you watch where you're going?"

Sanzo rubbed his head and opened his eyes, "What the hell is wrong with-"

Gojyo stared back at him, his red eyes just as startled as Sanzo felt. His body visibly relaxed, since it had looked like he was going to kill someone, "Hey Sanzo. Finally caught up to me, huh?"

"Wasn't looking for you. I was just taking a walk. And why don't _you_ watch where _you're _going, Kappa?"

Ignoring the comment, Gojyo got up and dusted himself off. He offered Sanzo his hand to help him up, but Sanzo simply pretended that he hadn't and got up on his own, shaking dirt off of his robes. "Damn. Yesterday you got blood all over me, and today you get dirt all over me. I can't believe what a waste of humanity you are."

Gojyo must have found something funny in the accusation, because he snorted.

Sanzo glared, "Something to share?"

"You said I'm a waste of humanity," Gojyo shrugged, "but I'm not."

"You're pathetic."

Gojyo began to walk along, offering Sanzo a cigarette as he went, "Well, this place don't have an inn. Where'd you guys wind up last night?"

"An old couple near the outskirts of town had an extra room they keep open for travelers. We stayed there."

"Weird for a town not to have an inn."

"Apparently it burned down a few years ago."

"A fire huh?"

"That's generally what makes things burn down."

Gojyo let that slide off his back, "Yeah, I got out of the river a little ways from where I fell, but there wasn't anywhere to climb back up," he said it like Sanzo actually cared, "so I followed the rode, thinking, eventually, we'd wind up in the same spot; ran into this chick. Geez, is she a babe."

"I'm guessing then that you stayed with her last night." Sanzo thought again about Hakkai's supposition of a "Gojyo Club" and wrinkled his nose in distaste.

"Yeah, but…it wasn't like that…"

"What, she wouldn't have you?"

"She's got a boyfriend."

"Tough for you, I guess." Sanzo flicked an ash onto the ground.

"He's a real prick."

"Why are you telling me this? You know I don't give a damn about you, right?"

Gojyo sighed, "Geez, and I almost thought I sort of missed you a little. You making your living being an asshole, Sanzo? You should. You're good at it."

"Well, I'm not exactly happy with you, Gojyo. First you go and get blood on my robes, then you make yourself an even bigger pain in the ass by getting clawed. After that you fall right off a cliff, and Hakkai's been all worried and freaky ever since. You've put us yet another day behind."

"Nah, we'd of had to stay in this town anyway. I don't think there's another one around for a long ways. And," he added what seemed to be an afterthought, "I only got clawed because your stupid, human brain can't process quickly enough. If I hadn't killed that guy that's all over your robes now, you'd be mince-meat pie."

"I suppose you want a thank-you."

"I got tired of waiting for those from you a couple years ago."

"You don't do very much that ever merits one, worthless sunnova bitch."

Suddenly, Gojyo turned on him, snarling slightly, "All right, enough, I'm sick of it. Shut your filthy mouth, Sanzo! God, I get away from one high and mighty, wife-beatin' dick and run right into the High Priest of all that's insulting and denigrating."

Sanzo merely glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, then smiled, "So I see you already got your trash-talk quota for the day."

"Like I said, the girl's boyfriend was a prick."

"Well, if it's any consolation, I wouldn't want you sleeping under the same roof as anyone I cared about either."

"That does it! Shut the fuck _up_, Sanzo! I swear I'm gonna' kill you!"

"You should probably calm down—you're a little too young to have an aneurysm. How the hell am I supposed to know what kind of day you've had?"

"Well, no one likes to start their day getting fucked with, just so you know; not even us good-for-nothing, scum of the earth, half-blooded freaks."

So it was going to be one of _those_ days.

"You're just too sensitive."

"Eat me, Sanzo. Just eat me."

They walked the rest of the way in silence, and by the time they got back, Hakkai and Goku were already outside, getting ready to start the day. They both smiled when they saw that Sanzo wasn't alone, and Sanzo felt annoyed all over again. For some reason, Gojyo was really popular with both of them. It was like they couldn't see what a stupid, useless, perverted bastard he was.

Goku ran over immediately, chattering and grinning from ear to ear, "Hey, you're okay! Hakkai was all worried, but I knew ya'd be all right!"

Gojyo grinned, but it looked a little fake, and Sanzo tried not to wonder why he was so moody this morning. "Awe, did the baby monkey miss me?" He tousled Goku's hair.

"What? Ack! Don't touch me, cockroach! I don't know who you spent the night with!"

"No one. It was a lonely night."

"Hm? Perhaps you were too filthy to spend the night in any decent person's home." Hakkai provided. "Or is there not a whorehouse in this town?"

"Geez, what is it? Bash Gojyo Day? Give me a chance, guys."

"Ah, you must excuse us, but you did do us the inconvenience of falling over the side of a cliff and getting lost for hours."

"Yeah, yeah," Gojyo hooked one arm around Hakkai's neck and puffed his cigarette, "Sanzo told me how worried you all were. Whatever, let's just roll the hell out of this town. It doesn't have a whorehouse, so I'm _not_ spending another night here."

"Goku and I have eaten already, but I think there might be a little left. If you two would like to eat before we get moving."

"Not me." Gojyo climbed into the back of the jeep. He seemed uncharacteristically eager to be moving on, "I'll eat later."

Sanzo snorted, "Well, I can't complain. We've had enough delays already, so I'd like to just get moving."

Hakkai nodded, "Very well, I suppose that's best. We wouldn't want to impose any more than we already have. There's another town about sixty miles away. Maybe we'll be able to stop there for lunch."

"Whatever. Let's just go." Sanzo lit a cigarette and looked out absently at the town. It was a nice place: so small and secluded it might have actually been overlooked by the youkai up until now. It was the kind of place he wouldn't mind living in if he had his own house and were allowed to keep to himself. However, when the car didn't move, even after several moments had passed, he felt less reflective and more annoyed. "Oy, Hakkai, are you-"

Hakkai was sitting and just staring, as were Goku and Gojyo.

"Well shit on a goddamn stick," Gojyo said under his breath, "just what I wanted for breakfast."

"Well good mornin' there, Mister Sanzo! And ain't it just a mornin' to beat all mornins? These parts surely are mighty pretty."

Sanzo felt his eye twitching and his sanity threatening to snap, "What…are _you_ doing here?"

Hazel removed his hat to bow to a lady, who gave him an odd look before she kept going, and then came around to Sanzo's side of the car, "Well, well, well sir, looks to me like you got your team back together. Mister Red, nice to see ya' again, sir; Mister Spectacles, you're lookin' well for a man who spent a few hours dead. An' _you_ lil' fella', I do declare, you've grown at least an inch."

"_What_ are you _doing_ here?" Sanzo demanded again.

"Well, sir, it never ceases to amaze me just how terrible your manners are. When a man greets ya'll 'good mornin' ya outta' answer 'good mornin' 'fore ya' can expect to make any demands."

Sanzo was beginning to feel like he should just put the departure off a day so he could go back to bed. "Now look, you, you know I don't like you. In fact, I'd rather put up with ten Gojyo's and a Goku that's _always_ hungry, and _walk_ all the way to India then to see you for even two minutes! Now for the _last_ time, _what_ _are you doing here?"_

"Gracious sir! That was mighty rude!"

"Now Sanzo," Hakkai soothed, "don't you think that was a bit of an exaggeration? Better to talk with Mister Hazel for a few minutes than to condemn yourself to hell."

"_Hakkai!"_ Gojyo protested.

It took Goku a little longer to get it."What's he mean?"

"For the love of God, Hazel," disgusted, Sanzo tossed his cigarette, only half-smoked, "what do you want?"

"Ya' see, sir, me an' Gat have been travelin' these parts, a bit behind ya'll, I s'pose, cleaning up whatever youkai trash ya'll leave behind. Makes it a bit easier, ya' know, finishin' off what ya'll couldn't handle."

"I'm gonna' kill him," Gojyo muttered, "I can feel it."

"Then, a few days ago, we noticed there's a huge group of youkai followin' ya', Mister Sanzo, and at the rate the beasts were travelin' we figured they'd catch up to ya'll today."

"And I suppose you're just a good citizen who wants to help."

"If ya'll wanna' look at it that way I s'pose ya' could; but really I just saw this as an ideal opportunity to exterminate some youkai and collect some souls. I'm just 'bout out."

"Thanks for the warning, but it's none of your concern. Now move out of the way before we run you over."

Hakkai held up a hand, "Just a minute Sanzo; Mister Hazel, this really _is_ helpful information, even if _none _of us wanted to see you this morning. Could you possibly estimate what time the youkai will reach us?"

Hazel smiled at him and drawled softly, "Why I'd be glad to, Mister Spectacles; I'd say that the youkai will arrive, in this town, in about, two minutes."

Sanzo stared at him.

"You've gotta' be frickin' kidding!" Gojyo swore.

"No, sir, not at all."

"Crap!" Goku stood up in the back seat, "But this's a town! There's people here! An' they could get hurt, or in the way or somethin'!"

Angrily, Sanzo grabbed Hazel by the collar, "Dammit, why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"Naturally, I woulda' sir, but ya'll were so busy insultin' me, I didn't really get the time."

"The time? You babbled about the weather for ten minutes before you said anything about youkai!"

"Sanzo, they're here," Hakkai stepped out of the car, "I can sense them."

Goku and Gojyo followed suit, summoning their weapons as they did so.

At last, Sanzo shoved Hazel away and climbed out of the jeep, hurrying to make sure his gun was loaded. It was difficult enough facing large groups of youkai, but when they had to worry about protecting bystanders as well it only made it worse.

He could feel the energy now too, moving like a dark breath of wind across the land, spoiling the freshness of the air and the peacefulness of the town.

"You three," he snapped at his comrades, "we don't have time to worry about protecting humans. Let Hazel handle that."

The others stared at him like he had something growing out of his head. That made him feel angry, "We can't _save_ everyone. There are too many people here, and too many youkai coming, so just stick to preserving yourselves."

"But Sanz-"

"I _mean_ it Goku! We're not super heroes!"

"Especially not you, right, _Lord_ Sanzo?"

"Gojyo, unless you want me to accidentally put a bullet in your head, you'd better shut up."

"Mercy, ya'll are such a lovin' family."

The youkai hit the town like a black wave of poison, rushing in like a stampede, screeching in glee and making threats. There were the usual demands for the sutra, which Sanzo typically ignored. He wasn't in the mood to wait for them to make their 'do this or die' speech, so he fired immediately, putting one of the miserable creatures out of his misery before the speech was over.

As soon as that first shot was fired, the town was plunged into pandemonium: humans screamed and ran for the cover of their homes, youkai came from all sides, attacking with their teeth and their claws, looking for any place to tear in and kill. It was a large group. Larger than the one they had faced yesterday. Sanzo stayed close to Goku, knowing that if they lost the sutra the mission would fail. Not to mention they might need the Makai Tenjyo at least once.

It was hard to watch the people of the town being run down and slaughtered, even for Sanzo, but he knew that if they tried to save everyone it would only get them more problems than they already had. Besides, Hazel was there to put anyone back to life that needed help.

It seemed like hours passed, and the battle wore on. To Sanzo it was like whittling at a huge block of wood with a blunt knife, killing only one or two youkai at a time, only to have them replaced by fresh troops; they were doing all right though. So far no one was hurt-not even that idiot Gojyo-so if they just held on for a little longer the youkai might decide to call it quits.

Sanzo watched a mother and her little girl dart out of an alleyway and run desperately for a house across the street. Three youkai were on them immediately, laughing hysterically as they trapped the pair in a small, tight circle and grabbed at the child.

"Crap!" Goku knocked the block off of the opponent he was facing and ran down the street to help the pair, taking all three youkai out in a matter of seconds, and then he covered the two humans while they ran for safety.

"Dammit Goku, I told you!"

"I know, Sanzo, but the little girl…"

The rest of what he said was lost when Sanzo had to fire off a couple of bullets to kill some youkai that were getting too close. "Never mind, just don't do it again!"

There were more earthshaking thoughts as Gat joined the battle and finished off a number of youkai in only a matter of moments.

Hazel wound up back-to-back with Sanzo at one point, laughing, "My, my, Mister Sanzo, ya' must have an awful lotta' faith in me."

"Hn. And how do you figure that?" Sanzo blew the head off one youkai and had to stop to reload. Hakkai covered him as he did so.

"Well, first off, ya' told your comrades not to get involved with protectin' any of the innocents: ya' left it all up to lil' ol' me."

"At least we know you're good for something. Even if it is sick."

"I find it amusing sir: ya' find what I do sick, but to me it's the right thing to be doin'. Look at these people. They don't deserve t' be dyin', do they?"

"I'm not the one who can decide that, and neither are you."

Finally the youkai were starting to thin out. Some of them recognized that the battle was lost and retreated hastily, while the braver ones stood their ground, still hoping to kill at least one of the infamous Sanzo team. In a few more minutes, only a handful were left, and Hazel was busily restoring anyone who was dead, Hakkai healing all who were wounded. The healthy humans were coming out again, looking around nervously, and murmuring to themselves. They stared at Sanzo like he was some kind of god, which only succeeded in annoying him.

"Bleh. Those sure were some_ crazy_ youkai." Goku said, walking alongside Sanzo. "Y' know, it's like no matter how many come they always get their butts whooped. I wonder why they don't give up."

"I'm sure it's their pleasure to serve Lord Kougaji." Hakkai smiled.

A high-pitched scream echoed through the streets, filling up the silent air for a moment, and Sanzo spun around to see that a trio of youkai had survived. Two of them were running down the street towards them, eyes full of desperation, and further down the road behind them, the third was laughing hysterically as he backed a young woman with dark hair and browned skin into a corner. She was screaming and doing her best to fight him off with her hand basket.

A huge man who was built like a barrel forced his way to the front of the crowd, and started running to help. "Jiya!"

Hakkai reached out in a blur of green and caught the man's arm, "Please sir, remain where you are."

He glared at Hakkai, "What the hell are you talking about, kid? That's my fiancee'!"

Sanzo aimed his gun at one of the advancing youkai, and Goku summoned his nyoi-bo again. "Damn it all to hell."

Gojyo suddenly took off like a shot, shakujou in hand, crimson hair flying back in the wind.

"Oy, Kappa! What the hell are you doing?"

"Facing the enemy head-on, perhaps?" Hakkai suggested.

Ignoring them, Gojyo pushed right past the youkai that were running down the street and went for the third, swinging his weapon so that it was only a flash of silver lightning. The woman had collapsed by now and was holding her arm like she'd been hurt. Scarlet blood exploded from the youkai and his arm flopped uselessly on the ground, quickly followed by his head, rolling away from the body.

"What the hell?" Sanzo fired once, killing the youkai that was closest, and Goku finished off the second. Hakkai released his hold on the eager man, who immediately ran to where Gojyo was crouched over his fiancée. Hakkai and Goku followed, but Sanzo stayed where he was, trying to make sense of what he'd just seen.

Jiya's fiancé got there quickly, for a man his size, and immediately knelt and shoved Gojyo out of the way, "Get away from her, you little bastard! Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Hey, assclown, I just saved her life!"

"You should have minded your own business, scum!"

"Please sir," Hakkai said patiently as he arrived, "you're lucky Gojyo acted so quickly, or your fiancée might be dead right now."

"And you! How dare you hold a man back when he was only trying to protect his woman!"

"Oh right," the Kappa snorted, _"you_ were going to protect her. What were you planning to do when you got here? That boy would have snapped you in half."

Face on fire with rage, the man stood up so that he was towering over Gojyo, and the Kappa had to tilt his head back in order to look up at him defiantly, "I warned you before, punk, you stay away from my Jiya, or I'll-"

Jiya grabbed his pant-leg, "Oh, Shen, please don't be angry at him. He saved my life. We owe these men our thanks."

"That's right," said a human man who was standing nearby, "they just saved our whole village. We owe them more than our thanks. We owe them our lives."

A few more voices murmured their agreement, and Sanzo could see that Shen was still angry, but obviously didn't want to object in front of his neighbors. Not when they were so advent. He kept both furious eyes on Gojyo for a moment, and then just walked away.

Hakkai looked at his friend for a moment, but when it was clear he wouldn't receive an explanation he knelt beside Jiya, "Excuse me, Miss, if I could just have a look at your arm, I believe I can help."

She smiled slightly, "Oh, are you the friend who heals people? I thought that was a joke."

Hakkai healed the arm up while more and more people gathered around, talking amongst themselves. Several came to Sanzo to thank him. Among them was the elder of the town.

"Lord Priest, we are eternally grateful to you, and cannot even imagine a reward that would compensate for what you and your companions have done today."

"No compensation is needed, sir."

"Oh, but it is; it simply wouldn't be right to send you four away hungry and empty handed. We'd like it if you allowed us to serve you tonight, and then in the morning you can be on your way with our blessing."

"It's a kind offer, but I'm afraid we're in a hurry."

"Goodness, Mister Sanzo," Hazel chided, arriving at his side, "ya' really aren't too good at this, are ya'? If the good people want t' thank ya'll, ya' should let 'em."

The elder's eyes sparkled as he turned to Hazel, "Of course, the offer is extended to you and your companion as well, Bishop Hazel."

"Oh, now, ya'll don't have t' go t' any trouble for lil' ole me. 'Course, if ya'll have got your hearts set on it, I'd be happy to oblige."

"Very well," the man laughed jovially, "we shall prepare the finest feast the town has ever seen at the town meeting place, and we would be honored, Lord Priest, if you and your companions would join us."

"Please, Sanzo?" Goku whimpered, "A feast! He said a feast! Can't we please stay?"

Jiya stood up with Hakkai's help, smiling as she did so, "We really would be delighted sir. I'd like to give you all my special thanks," she glanced at Gojyo, "for saving my life."

Sanzo felt utterly shocked as the Kappa pinkened slightly and turned his face away.

"It would be a great honor if you'd stay the night in my home."

"We simply don't have time." Sanzo explained. He was feeling really annoyed by the attention and just wanted to get on his way. He glared at Hazel; if only he hadn't appeared they could have left before the attack hit. The westerner just smiled at him, not understanding the look.

"Oh, but-"

"He's right," Gojyo said, much to Sanzo's surprise, "we've got places to go: we already spent one night here…"

"Gojyo-San," Jiya touched his arm, "you saved my life. Doesn't that mean anything to you?"

The half-blood wouldn't look at her.

"Now, now, Sanzo," Hakkai seemed distracted by the scene between the Kappa and the woman as well, but was clearly making an effort to ignore it, "they're very adamant about this. Perhaps it would be too rude to leave without allowing them to appreciate us."

"That's what I think!" Goku said quickly, "that's exactly what I think! We should let 'em appreciate us, eat th' food, get another good night's sleep in a real bed, and go tomorrow!"

Sanzo hissed between his teeth. As annoyed as he was, the others weren't backing down, and even with Gojyo, strangely, on his side, there was no way to argue with them. "Fine," he snapped, "we'll stay one more night here, but first thing tomorrow, we're out of here. Do you all understand that?"

Gojyo looked dismayed, "Sanzo-"

"Yay!" Goku pumped his fists in the air and danced for a second, "We get a feast!"

The din of the crowd got larger as the villagers began to laugh, and thank them, beginning to walk away with intent to set about preparing the feast for that night.

Jiya smiled brightly at Sanzo and his companions, "If you'll please follow me, I'll show you where you'll be staying tonight."

"Are you sure it will be all right with your fiance'?" Hakkai asked, "He didn't seem very pleased with us."

"Shen isn't my fiancé, and yes, it will all be fine."

She touched Gojyo's hand again as she started to lead them away, and Sanzo knew right then that it wasn't going to be fine at all.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Reluctant

Chapter Four: Reluctant

Jiya showed the four of them two different rooms that the four of them could split and relax in until the party that night.

"Very well then." Hakkai smiled as he inspected the rooms, "Sanzo and Goku, you two may have the room on the right, and Gojyo and I-"

"Naw, Hakkai, that's all right. Goku and I will take this one." Gojyo said from his place against the wall.

Hakkai gave him a questioning look, and even Goku could see that he wanted to question the decision, but at last he just shrugged at the Kappa with ill-concealed irritation, "If that's the way you want it."

"It is. C'mon, monkey," Gojyo went for the room on the left, taking his stuff with him, "let's fight over who get's what side of the room."

"Wha? Hakkai, I don't wanna' share a room with the cockroach! He's always callin' me names an' stealin' my food!"

"Look who's calling names now, you little punk!"

"Gojyo, if Goku would rather stay in a room with Sanzo, then perhaps-"

"It'll be fine. The monkey can't always have what he wants."

"Well, suppose I shared a room with Goku, and you and Sanzo took this one."

Sanzo and Gojyo looked at one another with evident disgust.

"I can't believe we're arguing over rooms." Sanzo mumbled. "I just want tonight to be over so we can leave."

"It is rather childish. Gojyo, why are you so set on sharing a room with Goku."

Gojyo looked at them with his poker face, "Dunno', just haven't done it in a while. Change of face."

Goku watched Hakkai and Sanzo exchange glances. Something weird was going on, but he couldn't really put his finger on it. From the looks on his companions' faces though, they all knew what it was, even if they weren't saying. "Fine," he snorted, "I'll stay in this crappy room with this lechy kappa. Ev'rybody happy?"

It was obvious that no one but Gojyo was happy with that arrangement, but Hakkai just nodded, and Sanzo lit a cigarette. Goku grabbed his bag and stomped into the room. He didn't really mind sharing a room with Gojyo so much. Maybe if he did, he could figure out what was going on for himself.

Inside it was a little shabby, but it smelled clean and the sun came through brightly. Goku sighed and grabbed the bed nearest to the door, sinking into it and clutching the pillow to his chest. He watched Gojyo flop down on his own bed and puff on a cigarette, immediately poisoning the air with nicotine. Goku had gotten used to that smell, and the brownish look it gave everything, but even though the scent was gross to him, it had come to be something of a comfort. It was always trapped in Sanzo and Gojyo's hair and clothes, surrounding them in a thin cloud, even when they weren't smoking. Somehow, it was a good smell.

"Man, I'm hungry again." Goku whined, "when d'ya' think they'll give us lunch?"

"I dunno'. Few hours maybe."

"What are we gonna' do until then?"

"It's a small town; there's really not much to do."

"Is that why you don' wanna' stay here?"

Gojyo glanced at him, and Goku studied his face the best he could, but it was totally emotionless. "What do you mean? I don't care."

"But ya' told Jiya ya' didn't think we could stay."

"Well, it is a boring town." The kappa sat up on his bed and fished a deck of cards out of his bag, "Tell ya' what, monkey, we'll play black jack for a while."

Goku frowned, "But ya' always beat me at that!"

"I always beat ya' at everything."

"Do not!"

"Fine. We'll play poker."

"Ya' beat me at that too!"

Gojyo laughed, "Then you could use the practice, right?"

"Yeah, I guess." Goku mumbled, watching as Gojyo started to deal the cards, "Ya' sure you're not gonna' go an' hunt for girls instead?"

"Naw, not tonight. I've seen most of the girls in this town anyway. None of them really meet the standard, you know?"

"Standard?"

"No one's good enough."

"Ya' mean like pretty enough?"

"No. Well. Maybe. I guess so."

"Wha' about Jiya? She's kinda' pretty."

Gojyo looked away and flicked ashes into the tray, "Mm-hm."

"Whassamatta? Don' ya' think so? Do ya'…not like her or somethin'?"

"She's nice. Her boyfriend's got her pretty tied up though."

"Yeah, he didn't seem very nice." Goku took the cards Gojyo had dealt him and looked at them. A pair of fours, one queen and a ten. Not a good hand at all, unless he thought he could beat Gojyo with the pair.

"Dick."

"Wha was he pushin' ya' around for? Did ya' try t' do somethin' with Jiya?"

Automatically, Gojyo's face turned bright red, something Goku didn't see very often, "No. Of course not! I'm not so low that I go after women who already have a man in their life! Geez, Goku, let's just play the damn game!"

"Alright, alright, sorry." Goku surveyed his hand again, "I'll take three cards."

Silently, Gojyo handed him the three and put his discards in a pile.

Now he had the pair, a jack and a king. "Crap." He muttered under his breath.

"You're not supposed to say stuff like that," Gojyo told him, taking a card for himself, "Now I know you've got shit for a hand."

Goku scowled. He couldn't believe he'd given up the wrong cards.

The two of them played for a few hours; Goku won a couple of hands, but Gojyo won most. The Kappa seemed to be his normal self the whole time, laughing and teasing, bragging when he won, bitching when he lost, cheating until he got caught and they were in an argument for a full thirty minutes before Goku got hungry and whined about that for another ten. Eventually the game resumed, until, finally, Goku had lost ten times in a row and threw his guards down angrily. Gojyo ribbed him about that for a while, and then Jiya brought up their lunch and he was silent immediately.

"I'm not the best cook in the world," she apologized, "but I did my best, so I hope you like it."

"It all looks awesome!" Goku shouted, looking the food over, hardly knowing what to start on.

"I'm glad you think so." She giggled, and then stood watching them quietly for a moment, "So, you're both comfortable up here, aren't you? Can I get you anything?"

Gojyo simply shook his head.

Goku shoved a mouthful of rice in his mouth and studied his friend uncertainly. It was so weird that he wasn't totally flirting with her.

"Well, as long as there's nothing else, I'll leave you to your privacy."

"Thanks!" Goku said again, and then fell to devouring his food once she had left, watching Gojyo out of the corner of his eye.

Hakkai excused himself a little bit after Jiya brought the food and went across the hall to visit Goku and Gojyo. He felt frustrated and confused by what was going on, because, on the outside, it looked like nothing was going on, and yet he and Sanzo had both been able to sense something on the inside of the whole matter. Maybe it was just his imagination and nothing was wrong, but it was rare for Gojyo to not want to stay in a town, and it was even rarer for him to act so stiffly around a woman; the way he had acted to Jiya had been almost…shy…if that was even possible. Hakkai really couldn't imagine what that meant.

He knocked politely on the door, even though he really just wanted to storm right in, "Goku, Gojyo, I'm coming in." Silently he prepared himself for the gloom and dissention he might encounter inside.

Goku and Gojyo were sprawled on their separate beds, Goku shoving food in his mouth so fast he couldn't tell what it was, and Gojyo sipping a beer. Already empty cans, a deck of cards and licked-clean plates were scattered on the floor. The ashtray was almost full.

Gojyo grinned and toasted his beer to Hakkai, "Hey, 'sup, Hakkai? Got sick of that stingy monk?"

"No, actually, Sanzo has been relatively tolerable the last few hours."

"That so? Well, I'll be. What's up? He takin' a nap?"

Hakkai laughed, because he knew he was supposed to, but he was quietly trying to make sense of Gojyo's mood. Was he wrong and everything was fine, or was this an act?

"Anyway, Gojyo, I wanted to have a word with you. Goku, would you mind very much excusing us?"

"Awe! I'm eatin', Hakkai!"

"'Sall right," Gojyo stood up and stretched so he was standing at his full six feet, "whatever you've got to say to me, Hakkai, you can say it in front of the monkey."

Hakkai didn't like to hear that. It only confirmed his theory. At first he'd been offended when Gojyo had declined to sharing a room with him, but the more he'd thought about it the more he had thought maybe there was an intelligent motive behind it. His friend wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he had good instincts, and every now and then his intellect caught Hakkai off guard. He certainly wasn't an idiot. Hakkai theorized that Gojyo had only wanted to share a room with Goku because the boy wasn't as perceptive as Sanzo or himself. He probably knew that both of them had noticed an anomaly in his behavior and that they were going to question him about it if they got the chance to catch him alone. Even if Goku asked questions, he didn't know the right questions to ask, so it was unlikely that he'd learn very much, where as Hakkai felt he or Sanzo could deduce quite a bit if they probed for a moment. Sanzo might not bother, so not rooming with him might have been just due to their natural aversion for one another. They never shared a room.

At any rate, if Gojyo was saying Hakkai could say whatever he had to say, even with Goku in the room, it suggested that he was confident that Hakkai wasn't going to ask him everything he wanted to as long as they weren't totally alone. And he was right.

"Very well then," he'd just have to do his best with the opportunity he'd been given, "I was wondering if something might have happened between you and Jiya…"

Gojyo looked annoyed, "Is everyone gonna' ask me that today? No. Nothing happened between us."

"But-"

"I know Shen's being an ass to me, but it's just 'cause he knows what I am."

Hakkai almost opened his mouth to reprimand Gojyo for cutting him off, since that hadn't been what he intended to ask, but he stopped himself when he heard that. "Oh." That could certainly explain a lot. Not everyone knew what red hair and eyes signified, but the people who did were particularly prejudice. It was possible that Shen had been reacting with hostility towards Gojyo only because of his heritage. The possibility of this completely distracted Hakkai from his initial question.

"In that case, is that why you didn't want to stay another night here?"

"Don't get me wrong, that asshole's no threat, but he _did_ threaten me, and I'd rather not get into a fight. I get the feeling he's pretty influential here, has more money than the other people in the town and stuff."

"Indeed, a fight with him could turn into a fight with the town." Hakkai thought about the story concerning the last hybrid who had come to this place.

"That was all."

"If you don't mind me asking, what did he threaten you for? You didn't try something with his woman, did you?" Hakkai frowned at the thought. That would be unlike Gojyo, but he'd acted so strangely to Jiya that he couldn't help thinking it was a possibility.

"Naw. He's just a jealous guy. I mean, look how he makes her dress."

"I see. You mean to say that she has no interest in you?"

Goku looked up from his meal but didn't say anything, and Gojyo took a moment to answer, "Not that I know of. She was just grateful for what I did."

"It was unusual. You don't normally throw yourself out there that way."

"No one else was doing anything."

"Yes, but we would have handled it, eventually."

"Hakkai, you're looking for dirt where there isn't any, all right?" Gojyo sat down again, starting to pick at his food.

"Am I? In that case, you'll be more polite to her tonight, won't you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Yeah," Goku chimed, "ya've been sorta' rude to her. An' her cookin's really good an' ev'rythin'."

"I don't know what you two are talking about. I haven't been rude."

"Oh, so you ignoring a woman is completely natural now."

"I told you, Hakkai, she's taken. I don't mess with what's taken—it's a waste of time. Now, if you don't mind, I'm trying to eat lunch."

Hakkai hesitated; that was as close to the questions he really wanted to ask as long as Goku was in the room. If he went at the issue directly and demanded why Gojyo was acting so shy around Jiya, or why he'd blushed when she'd thanked him, he'd definitely not answer, if only because Goku was there listening. He'd barely touched the question and the hybrid was balking already. He certainly wasn't going to get any answers right now.

"Very well then. I'll leave you alone." Hakkai smiled slightly and left the room, feeling even more annoyed.

"What did you find out?" Sanzo demanded, almost the very instant their own door was closed.

"Not very much, I'm afraid, although, I do believe he requested to share a room with Goku to keep us from asking questions; tonight we'll be the guests of honor at a party," Hakkai paced the room and patted Jeep on the head as he went, "there'll be no time to bring it up there. And by tomorrow, when we're on the road, it will hardly matter anymore."

"Guess the kappa's got us then."

"So it would seem. Sanzo, I did learn something, but I'm not sure how serious it is, so I'd like your opinion."

"Well, what is it?" The Priest looked up at him.

"According to Gojyo, Shen, Jiya's fiancé, knows what he is and even threatened him. He seems to be a very jealous man."

"Don't tell me you're thinking about that story about the other half-blood; you shouldn't trust so much in village rumors, Hakkai."

"I suppose you could be right, but then, if Shen is the same man, and he feels like Gojyo is after his woman, it might create a problem for us."

"That damn kappa can fight his own battles. I won't fight them for him."

Hakkai sighed and sat down, "I didn't exactly expect you to."

The town meeting hall was a large building with several stories, and that night it was lit up with hundreds of differently colored lights that illuminated the entire town. The town elder sent an escort to lead the foursome to the place and inside a huge table had been set up and filled with food. The whole town seemed to be there, men, women and children included. People were already laughing and drinking, making merry and eating. The noise only escalated when the four of them arrived and were shown to their seats. Sanzo was seated at the head of the table with Goku and Hakkai on either side of him, while Gojyo wound up on the other side of Goku, with Hazel across from him. At the other end of the table was the village elder, who immediately stood up to give a toast.

Gojyo was distressed to see that he'd been seated next to Jiya. That would definitely cause more problems with Shen, who was sitting on the other side of her, and he could already feel his three friends watching him subtly. She looked truly beautiful in the night, with her hair down for once and her face painted. Her jewelry sparkled, and she was wearing a dress that only went half-way down her thighs. He doubted Shen had agreed to let her wear that.

All night she kept staring a him and speaking to him, her gaze making his face hot, her sultry voice making his hair stand on end. He tried not to look at her, did his best to act normal, teasing Goku vehemently and even forcing himself to listen to Hazel, all the while feeling her right at his shoulder, smelling the fresh, flowery scent of her, eyes drawn to her cleavage and bare arms. He counted the minutes and forced himself to eat, nearly losing what he _had_ eaten when she reached over to touch his hand and whispered in his ear, "Are you having a good time?"

"Uh, yeah, it's great." He took a gulp of booze and forced himself to not look at her.

The evening dragged on and some performers came out; a second course was served. Hours passed and still it seemed like the party was never going to end. Finally, when Gojyo couldn't stand to sit next to her for a moment longer, he looked at Hakkai, "Hey man, I'm goin' out to smoke for a while." He added loudly, "And we should probably leave soon, right? Gotta' get moving tomorrow." Hopefully Sanzo would realize that was true and give the order to move out.

"All right, Gojyo. Perhaps I'll accompany you."

That was the last thing he needed, "Nah, you stay here and enjoy yourself." He got up and left the room before his friend could follow. Instead of going outside though, he wound his way back to the empty, back rooms of the building, passing curious people and looking for some solitude. His heart was drumming in a way it hadn't for a long time, and his clammy hands were shaking. He kept picturing Jiya's beautiful face and flowing body, not sure why he couldn't forget it. What was it about that girl? He'd never wanted a woman he couldn't have so badly before. It was maddening. His hand itched where she had touched him.

"Get a hold of yourself, Gojyo. Tomorrow we're leaving, then you can forget all about her."

The hybrid found himself out in the cool, night air, the rich scent of a garden engulfing him as he walked a narrow walkway that took him through a cherry orchard. Effortlessly, he lifted himself up onto the railing and lit a cigarette, dragged on it slowly to calm his nerves, but his hands were still shaking violently.

Gojyo sat there for several minutes, watching the stars above and listening to the din of the crowd inside, hoping that at any moment the party would end and everyone, Jiya included, would go home.

He heard gentle footsteps on the walkway, took a deep breath of clear air, "Hakkai, I told you not to follow me, dammit."

"I'm not Hakkai." Her hands swept up his back to his shoulders and he went totally stiff, almost crushed the cigarette in his hand.

"Sorry," he mumbled, "he usually follows me, even when I tell him not to."

"He's a good friend, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess. Not like he has a choice—we all kinda' have to be together."

"You care about him though, I can tell."

Gojyo snorted, but he didn't feel confident at all with her hand resting so softly on his arm, "I'm not really the caring type to tell the truth."

"I don't believe that." Her breath was hot in his ear. "I believe you're a good person, one of the best I've met."

He couldn't contain a bitter laugh, "Honey, you have no idea."

"Anyway, you've been good to me and my town. You remind me of my father," she laughed quietly, "he was a rogue too, wandered for most of his childhood and some of his adult years, until he found my mother. She lived here all her life, and he was passing through. They fell in love. Just like that. The wandering stopped. But, he was willing to give it all up for her. Even when he'd known nothing else."

Gojyo wanted to say that it sounded like he was an idiot and that no man should ever give up freedom for a woman, but something stopped him, and he looked at her. Jiya's eyes were glowing in the darkness, her mouth smiling sadly. "I…I'm sorry he's gone…" he mumbled at last.

"Me too. That horrible fire…"

"It doesn't sound like Shen's like him at all."

"He's not. Shen is selfish and cruel. I'm sure he's never thought of anyone but himself ever since the day he was born."  
He heard hatred in her words and wondered how he had missed it before. "Why do you stay with him? You obviously hate him. Do you really think that you wouldn't be able to find somewhere else to go if you left him?"

Jiya hesitated, "I'm not sure."

"You're afraid of him." He accused her softly. "That's all right, you know. He's an intimidating guy."

"But you're not."

"I'm not afraid of very much."

"You must be afraid of something. Everyone is."

Gojyo sighed and looked at the stars again, his mind traveling invariably back to the day his mother had tried to kill him, and then to the night Hakkai had died. "Maybe."

"But you are brave. I can see that. Brave and strong…a true man…"

Her lips were close to his now, her hands touching him softly, and there was such a sharp, brilliant yearning that he couldn't tell if it was hers for him, or his for her. "I'm no good for you: not any better than Shen is."

"Don't try to tell me what's good for me, Gojyo. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of people telling me what's right and what's wrong and how I should live my life. Just once I want to follow what my own heart is telling me and find out where it takes me."

Gojyo snorted again, "I don't think people who follow their hearts are very smart… after all, the heart is blind."

Her hand snaked up his side and rested at the center of his chest where that wild drum was slamming against his sternum over and over, but she didn't answer him. Instead she wrapped her free hand around his neck and pressed her lips to his mouth. They were hot and smooth and soft, gentle and fierce at the same time, attacking with a tender jealousy, pushing away the rational thoughts in his head, replacing them with her own, bringing the desires to the surface and forcing him to forget.

Out of instinct, Gojyo wrapped his arms around her back and crushed her against him, reveling in the heat of her body against his, loving the texture of her silken flesh beneath his fingers. He couldn't help it; he kissed her back, eyes closed, mouth open, drinking in the smells and shapes of her, letting that maddening drum in his chest take over all sights and sounds.

Over the years, ever since he was a kid, he'd been with so many women, and he'd looked at them in different ways, seeing value in some, and a cheap screw in others. Enjoying the company of some more than the rest. But never had he longed for a woman the way he did for Jiya. Never had he felt so satisfied and so full. He'd never wanted to be with someone the way he wanted to be with her. It was something his mind couldn't explain. Something he didn't really want an explanation for.

A sudden bang yanked them away from each other, and Gojyo whirled around to see Shen standing there, his face drawn by utter fury.

"Shen!" Jiya gasped. "Shen, it wasn't what it looked like. Nothing happened." Even as she spoke the words, she was placing herself between the two men.

"Jiya…" Shen's angry voice was laced with pain, his fists bunched like he was preparing to attack, and Gojyo got ready to face him, stepping down easily from the railing and glaring at him.

To his surprise though, Shen spun around and ran back the way he'd come, just as Sanzo and the other two appeared. They looked questioningly at Shen and then at Gojyo and Jiya.

"Goddammit." Sanzo hissed.

"Gojyo? What are you doing?"

The hybrid moved away from Jiya, swiping his hand back through his hair, "Nothin', I came out to smoke, remember? We were just talking."

"Well Shen followed you; we were afraid he'd be angry if he found that you two were together. I suppose we were right in thinking so."

"No, because nothing happened."

"We're leaving." Sanzo snapped. "Thanks to your idiocy, there's going to be trouble now."

"My idiocy? Nothing happened—there was nothin' idiotic going on!"

"Just go." Jiya whispered, "I don't know what Shen will do if he saw us…you've got to be ready to leave tomorrow."

Gojyo stared at her, the racing in his heart only getting faster and faster, pounding so hard that it hurt. He didn't like being told to leave. He didn't like this woman who'd just kissed him so fiercely to tell him that he needed to leave now.

With a sigh, he stepped around her to follow the others. Jiya held onto his hand, delaying him a moment, "Am I ever going to see you again?"

The hybrid shrugged, "I don't know."

Then he pulled away.

Gojyo lay awake for hours, unable to sleep, watching the night end and the day begin, until the pale, gray dawn was stretching through the windows at last. He couldn't believe how stupid he had been. Kissing her like that. Allowing her to kiss him. He remembered the taste and feel of her lips and her velvety tongue and longed for her, even as he kicked himself for what had happened. Now who knew what would happen? Who knew what Shen would do to her? He was leaving with Sanzo and the others in the morning, and he wasn't afraid of Shen anyway, but that didn't help Jiya at all. She was already afraid of him, with good reason. Would he punish her for what she had done? Gojyo closed his eyes, doing his best not to think of her face, covered in cuts and bruises from a beating, but the image of her haunted him, and sleep escaped.

When the sun had only been up a few hours, and he was just beginning to fall asleep, their was a sharp banging on the door of the room, and then Hakkai came in quickly, "Wake up, both of you!"

Gojyo sat up slowly, blinking and mumbling, "What?"

"Goku, wake up. There's no time to explain! We must leave at once."

"Wha?" The monkey sat up even slower, rubbing his eyes, "What about breakfast?"

"There's no time!" Hakkai said again, "we have to go, right now!"

"Why?" Gojyo got out of bed and started dressing, "What happened?"  
"Apparently," Hakkai gave him a somewhat cold look, "there's an angry mob headed this way: they're out for blood."

"What, more youkai?" Goku was getting up too.

"No. Humans."

"Isit the people Hazel brought back again?"

"I'm afraid not. These people are perfectly in control of themselves: according to the neighbor boy, they're going through the village, recruiting as many young men as will follow."

"But why? Didn't we just save 'em yesterday? They gave us that great banquet an' ev'rything."

Hakkai didn't answer, but he didn't have to. Gojyo knew already. "This is about me, huh? Me and that stupid girl."

His friend didn't look at him as he answered, "I'm afraid Gojyo, what you did was very foolish…"

Goku turned on him, "Wait. It's your fault we can't have breakfast?"

"If the boot fits."

"And in this case, I dare say it does, Gojyo."

The hybrid smiled in spite of himself. "Guess it does."

Ten minutes later, they were out the door, cramming luggage into Jeep, only half-awake, frantic to get moving. Goku was dragging his feet and complaining so much, Sanzo eventually let him have it with the fan.

"I don't get why we hafta' run away," Goku whined, "we can handle a buncha' humans."

"That's true," Hakkai climbed into the driver's seat, "however, we're not out to pick a fight with humans, and I think we should avoid fighting them at all costs, even if it does chaff the ego a little."

Jiya brought a basket of food to the car and handed it to Goku, "Here, take this for the road. It's not much, but it will last until tomorrow at least."

The boy's face brightened considerably, "Thanks! You're awesome!"

She smiled, but then looked gravely at Hakkai, "Drive fast, Hakkai."

"Don't worry, Miss, even if they do catch up to us, I'm confident that the four of us will be enough to hold them off."

Jiya shook her head, "You don't understand. You don't understand what you're really up against. Shen has done this before. It's not just him and a few of his friends from the bar or anything like that. Shen is the head of a racist organization that he started even before all the youkai went crazy. They specialize in killing youkai: they have weapons, terrible weapons, and they're willing to murder. You three may be human," Hakkai's smile widened slightly and Goku looked away, "but that doesn't mean he won't kill you. He's a very cruel man, and the men he has with him are almost as bad."

"Thank-you for your concern, Jiya."

The girl smiled gently at Gojyo, and for some reason he felt like something inside of him was breaking, "Good luck."

The hybrid didn't dare to speak, afraid that his emotions might be obvious in his voice if they weren't in his face; he barely touched her hand, looked deep into her eyes, torn by the tears he saw there, not really understanding them. Jeep's engine roared.

Goku held the basket on his lap possessively, "But it's just Gojyo they want, right? Why don't we just give 'im to 'em?"

"I like that idea," Sanzo mumbled as they started rolling.

"Now, now, you two."

Gojyo watched over his shoulder as Jiya got further and further away, not bothering to defend himself as the other three began tossing half-joking insults in his direction. He couldn't understand what had gone wrong. It had seemed like the very moment he'd seen her in the road he'd completely lost control of everything, including himself, and it was just like falling off that cliff, over and over again, freefalling down and down into a river, watching everyone else get farther away. Now they were on the run. Shen would probably follow them everywhere until they had caught them. No. Just him. He'd chase him until he was dead. Gojyo had no intention of dying, so that could be a very long time. But it didn't seem right to drag the other three into this mess. He didn't like the idea of one of them getting in the way and taking a bullet for him. He'd been that route before, and it wasn't any good.

And what about Jiya? Was it really okay to leave her there? Would Shen hurt her? Would he take all that anger and frustration that had been on his face out on her? Gojyo hated that thought, but he couldn't put his finger on the reason. A woman was only a woman, after all; there were more out there. She had kissed him.

But he had kissed her back, even when he knew the dangers of it. He stared out the back of the jeep until he couldn't see her anymore.

When he turned around, Hakkai was looking at him in the rearview mirror, his eyes alive with knowledge.

Gojyo lit a cigarette and turned his head to watch the landscape go by, and to think his problems over.

The day passed slowly, but they didn't stop for anything. Goku got into the basket after a few hours and ate most of the food Jiya had sent with them. That earned him a few good knocks with the fan. Sanzo and Hakkai discussed the best route to take and the distance of the next town.

"Apparently, if we follow this road we'll come to a fork. There's a longer route and sort of a difficult shortcut."

That caught Gojyo's attention, "There are two different ways into the next town?"

"Yes. That's what the map indicates." Hakkai looked at him in the mirror again, but Gojyo didn't look back at him. With a sigh, Hakkai turned to Sanzo again, "Which do you want to take, Sanzo?"

"The shortcut of course. We don't have any time to waste."

"I wonder if it's even safe to stop in a town, or if it might be better to hide out in the woods."

Sanzo glanced in the mirror as well, "Who knows. We might have to split up when we get to the next town."

"Yes, I suppose that isn't a bad idea." They were whispering now. As if he couldn't hear them. "If the three of us stay in a separate inn perhaps they won't be able to find him."

Gojyo ground his teeth together, but he simply tossed his cigarette into the wind and started another. He closed his eyes and tried not to think about Jiya.

An hour later, the fork appeared in the road; on the left, the road got considerably narrower, like a foot path, and darker, leading deep into a thick branch of the woods. It looked dark and scary. On the right the road remained the same and led out of the forest into a bright, green plain that looked like it went for a few miles. The sky was blue with puffy, white clouds.

"I suppose it would stand to reason that the forest path is the shortcut, since it looks somewhat treacherous."

"Good. Take the left road then."

Hakkai nodded and began to turn the wheel to the left, but Gojyo stood up suddenly. He hadn't spoken in hours, so when he suddenly snapped, "Stop the car, Hakkai," it startled the other three.

"Whatever for?"

"Just do it."

Hakkai's eyes narrowed in the mirror, "Gojyo, I'm not sure that-"

"I said stop the goddamn car, Hakkai!"

With a faint sigh, Hakkai slammed on the brake and the car came to a sudden stop.

Gojyo grabbed his rucksack and jumped out of the Jeep, looked back at them, "You guys take that short cut, I'm going this way, and we'll meet in the next town."

"Of all the idiotic, moronic ideas." Sanzo mumbled.

Goku stared at him with wide eyes. "Wait a minute, you're not comin' with us?"

"Nah, I'll catch up. I'm just takin' a little detour, that's all."

"But those crazies are after ya'! An' if that's the long way then they'll prol'ly catch up!"

"Yeah, but at least if they do it won't matter to you guys."

"Won't matter?" Hakkai gave him a fierce glare, "Have you lost your mind?"

"Look, I can handle them. They're just a bunch of humans. But I can't expect you guys to fight a fight that's mine. I made a mistake, and I'll deal with the consequences."

Hakkai still frowned at him, "I forbid you to do this."

"Forbid all you want."

"Let him go, Hakkai. If that's what he wants…"

Hakkai ignored Sanzo, "Gojyo, you're not going alone. Jiya said that those men have weapons, and we don't exactly understand what she meant. If it's something you can't handle by yourself-"

"If I'm not to the next town in two days just go without me."

"Two days?" Sanzo growled, "You expect us to wait around for two whole days?"

"Sanzo, please." Hakkai didn't sound as polite as his words. "Gojyo, I don't think you fully understand what you're getting into. None of us do."

"It's my mistake to make." He turned away, "See you guys later."

"Wait just a minute," Hakkai got out of the jeep too and walked after him, grabbing his friend's arm.

Gojyo glared at him, "Don't you dare try to stop me, Hakkai."

"I'm not trying to stop you. I'm going with you."

"What?" Goku shrieked.

Sanzo seemed startled as well, "Hakkai!"

"Don't worry, Sanzo; I'm sure that the two of us together will be able to resolve this. At the very least, I have better communication skills than Gojyo does. We may be able to come to an agreement."

The Priest looked annoyed but didn't object anymore. Gojyo got a little satisfaction out of seeing him displeased.

"If you like, Sanzo, you can try to take Jeep through the woods, although, that road does look a bit too narrow."

With a snort, Sanzo got out, and Goku followed him. "If you two miscreants are so set on this pathetic farce of a plan, then fine, go ahead; but remember, I can't wait for you for forever, so try to hurry this along."

"Very well. We'll see you in the next town. I'd say it will only take us a day to walk there."

"And if you're not there by tomorrow night, we're leaving without you."

"Of course, of course. Well, Gojyo, let's be on our way then."

"Hakkai, I don't think-"

The youkai gave him a dark look, "I've already given you this much; don't expect me to compromise anymore."

That look was sharp enough to make Gojyo think twice, and then he shrugged and waved to the others, "See ya' later."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five: Sincere

Chapter Five: Sincere

For a long time, the two of them walked in utter silence. The sun was warm on their skin and the air was fresh; the route was peaceful, the long blades of green grass blowing silently in the breeze, the cotton candy clouds drifting lazily across the azure sky. Hakkai smelt warm, thriving earth, fresh-cut grass, clean air, and the distant scent of a pond or a lake. He didn't feel like talking, mostly because he was angry at Gojyo, more angry than he'd been in a long time.

The hybrid could probably sense it, because he didn't try to talk to him either.

Hakkai wasn't sure where the anger he felt came from. He didn't know if he was more angry about what Gojyo had done to get them in this mess or if he was angry because the half-blood was so stubbornly refusing help and splitting the group up. With the anger was a sense of betrayal. A sense that he had been lied to. When he'd asked Gojyo what was going on between him and Jiya he had answered nothing, but then they'd been caught kissing. It was all so…strange. Almost out of character. Gojyo really didn't usually go after women who had a man in their life, so he couldn't understand why he would decide to chase Jiya. The more he thought about what was happening, the angrier he became. As far as Hakkai could decide, Gojyo had been selfish and stupid and had gotten everyone into a situation that could have been avoided if he'd simply practiced a bit of self control.

The hours wore by, and his anger grew. Storm clouds formed in the east, moving toward them with silent speed, threatening to pour rain. But neither of them mentioned anything about it. For hours they simply walked, not resting to eat or drink or anything.

Finally, when the sky was overcast and dark, greenish-gray, Hakkai could no longer bear to contain his anger. He hated that he was this furious and that Gojyo had no idea.

"You just had to, didn't you? You couldn't control yourself, could you? Not even when you knew better."

Gojyo stopped and looked at him, "Excuse me? Oh, are you talking to me now?"

"Don't you dare be insolent with me right now."

"Hakkai," Gojyo sighed, putting a cigarette in his mouth, "I didn't do this on purpose, and you know it."

Angrily, Hakkai ripped the cigarette away from him, threw it down, and then knocked the carton out of his hands. The cigarettes fell out everywhere.

"Shit! Hakkai, what the fuck did you do that for? You know these things aren't cheap!"

"Oh, perhaps it's just that I have no self-control."

"For your information, Hakkai, I have plenty of self-control!"

"That's a joke, Gojyo, and you know it! In all the years I've known you, I've never seen you exert even the slightest bit of self-control when it came to women! I just never realized you were low enough to try to steal another man's woman! What was it, anyway? What was it about her that you had to have? Was it just because she was off limits? Was it just because you knew you'd be messing with the bull if you touched her? Maybe it was just because she's involved with a cruel man—did you feel like you had to be her hero or something? Of all the women in that town you had to pick the one who was completely unavailable! Why?"

Gojyo just looked at him, his expression empty, his eyes slightly contemptuous. Hakkai wanted to hit him right square in the face.

He settled for grabbing him by the front of the jacket and shaking him, "You can't tell me you didn't do this on purpose! You knew exactly what would happen if you messed around with her, and you still did it! That's purpose, Gojyo! I always knew your fucking around with women would get you killed, and now it's going to! You're such a selfish, pathetic bastard! And why am I doing this? Why am I walking around out here, waiting for that man to come along with God knows how many men, and what kinds of weapons? Why the hell are you doing this to me? You knew better, dammit!" He couldn't stand the tension anymore, and he gave into it, hauling off and striking Gojyo across the side of the face.

The hybrid just stared at him, eyes huge. He'd never seen Hakkai lose it like this before, never heard him use such coarse language, and it was stunning him to a point that he couldn't even respond. Lightning crackled in the sky above them, only a few miles away. Silver drops of rain began to fall, sparkling around them in the dingy sunlight.

"Your selfishness, and your carelessness for those around you make me sick! You're chaotic, running around and doing whatever you please, never even thinking about the consequences or the toll it will take on the people who care about you! That man is never, _ever_ going to give up hunting you! Not until you're dead! Do you want to be dead? Is that what this is? Some kind of moronic suicide mission? Did you want him to kill you? Is your mind completely gone?" He hit him again, this time with his open hand, and then again, back and forth across the jaw. "Quit staring at me like that! Answer me!"

Gojyo grabbed Hakkai's wrist and twisted it slightly so that pain shot up to the elbow. Gojyo's blood red eyes were full of rage and indignation."How long are you going to stand there and fucking yell at me, Hakkai? I told you I didn't do this on purpose, and I didn't! _Jiya _kissed _me_ not the other way around! I had no intention of ever doing anything with her! _She_ wanted_ me_! Shen knows that! He's jealous! He might have done this anyway! He knows what I am, and he knows that she has a thing for me, and he's just the kind of bastard to do something like this! It's not something I could prevent! So just get a grip, God _dammit!_ Do you honestly think that if I wanted to die I would do it this way? Do you honestly think I'm that _stupid?_ That guy is _not_ going to kill me! He's a goddamn, pathetic, good-for-nothing, shit-for-brains human! I'd never let myself lose to someone like him!"

For a few minutes, the two of them glared back at each other, and Hakkai felt his anger throbbing within himself, but it was laced with fear. The rain was coming down harder now, falling in straight, pin-silver streams, hitting the ground hard; already Hakkai's hair and clothes were damp. He saw rain drops running over Gojyo's well-structured jaw. Lightning flashed directly over their heads, followed instantly by a horribly loud crash of thunder.

Immediately the two of them released each other and ran as fast as they could down the street, the rain whipping over their faces and through their hair, soaking them and blinding them. Dips in the road were filling with water, turning into puddles. Hakkai plowed through one and found himself wet up to the ankles. A strike of lightning hit the ground only a mile or two away, out in the large, stretching meadow. Hakkai knew that if they didn't find shelter, they'd likely be hit.

He ran though another, shallower puddle and stepped wrong, lost his footing immediately and found himself face down in the mud.

"Dammit!" Gojyo came to a sudden stop and ran back to drag his comrade back on his feet, "You clumsy idiot!" Keeping his grip on Hakkai's arm, he kept running, dragging him along.

Up ahead, on the side of the road, there was a small structure that looked like a shrine of some kind. It had four supportive beams and a thin roof. A statue was there, along with some flowers and old food. Hakkai pointed to it, and he and Gojyo ran for the shrine, getting in under the roof just as another flash of lightning hit the ground outside.

Hakkai looked at Gojyo, saw that his friend's eyes were wide, his pupils small. He was gasping and panting from the run, his long, red hair completely drenched. "Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit…"

"That was something of a close call, wasn't it?"

"Hot damn, I thought we were gonna' be fried. Do-do you think this thing is good enough for shelter?"

"It's made of wood at least, so it won't conduct the electricity at all. In any case, it's the best we can do."

"Damn." Gojyo leaned back against the wall and searched through his pockets for cigarettes a few minutes before he remembered that he no longer had any. Hakkai watched the rain, his anger completely erased by the flight.

"I hope Sanzo and Goku didn't get caught in this. It would be much harder to find decent shelter from lightning in the woods."

"Yeah. But they've got Jeep…"

"I'm not sure that's going to make much of a difference."

Gojyo hesitated for a moment, shifting his weight back and forth before he asked, "How's your ankle?"

"Fine. I twisted it, but it doesn't feel sprained." Hakkai paused before adding, "I apologize for your cigarettes. That was unnecessary."

"Damn straight it was."

"I'll buy you a new carton when we get to the next town."

"If we get to the next town."

"Oh, come now, let's not think that way. Jiya doesn't know that we're youkai, so perhaps what she said is irrelevant to us."

"I dunno'. What kind of weapons do you think those guys have?"

"I honestly have no idea. Guns perhaps."

"Good thing I'm used to dodging bullets. Compliments to Master Sanzo."

Hakkai laughed slightly, but the humor died quickly, and they were both quiet for a few moments, "Honestly, Gojyo, honestly…what is this all about?"

His friend didn't answer.

"You say you didn't do this on purpose, fine, I believe you; however, I cannot accept the idea that this isn't your fault at all. You played some role in it. Jiya is a beautiful woman, I know, but…" he saw the agitated look on Gojyo's face and said quietly, "Gojyo, please listen to me. I understand that it's in your nature to chase women, but I don't understand why, and to be perfectly honest…I find it somewhat repulsive."

"What now? You think you're gonna' win my heart by being sincere?"

"Perhaps not, but I've thought this through before. I simply never had the courage to say it: the way you sleep around…it's not…well, the act of it isn't as disgusting as the result. You meet these women, and you take them home, and they're yours for a night, and in the morning you know you'll never see them again. You simply walk away. Perhaps it's simply that we were raised differently, but that seems wrong to me. I mean, haven't you ever considered what that's like for them? Women are fundamentally different than we are, more easily attached, more easily moved to love. I'm sure you've broken more than your share of hearts."

"I purposely sleep with women who are just looking for a good fuck. I'm not looking for any kind of soul mate, Hakkai."

"But Gojyo, women are complex. That's what I'm trying to say: you shouldn't be so careless with them. Jiya must have thought there was something in you that she wanted. Perhaps she thought that you're her knight in shining armor, so to speak. Her prince charming. Perhaps she thought you'd save her from Shen and take her somewhere new and exciting. I don't know. The way she looked at you before we left, made me think that she might actually be in love with you, that she might actually be hoping for something from you. Something a man like you could never give."

The hybrid spoke through his teeth, "All this…from a guy who screwed his own damn sister."

Pain shot right through Hakkai's chest like he'd been shot with an arrow. The tone Gojyo used had been dripping with anger, so it was clear that it had been his intention to hurt and destroy. He had meant to be cruel and ruthless. Hakkai took a deep breath, trying to keep himself from feeling the pain and the rage that was now fighting to take control.

"At least I have loved a woman, Gojyo. At least I can understand what love is!"

Gojyo flinched but Hakkai didn't care. He wanted to hurt him back, just as bad, so he searched for something stronger, "Perhaps you're afraid to be close to a woman because you're afraid she might hurt you—she might kill you. Maybe you don't want to beg for love due to your own fear!"

"How dare you," Gojyo turned on him, fists clenched, "how dare you throw that in my face?"

"How dare you throw Kanan in _my_ face? Did that seem justified to you?"

"You were already pushing my buttons when I said that."

"I wasn't trying to push your buttons, I was only stating facts."

"Don't you ever, ever throw my mother in my face, ever again, Hakkai!"

"And don't you dare speak about Kanan! I loved her! Much more than anyone like you could understand!"

"Shut up!" Gojyo crammed his fist into Hakkai's gut, knocking the wind out of him, and Hakkai doubled over, holding his stomach and gasping for breath. Enraged, he punched Gojyo across the jaw, slamming the hybrid back against the wall.

"You don't really want to fight me, Gojyo: we both know who's stronger."

"Oh yeah, that's right. You. You're stronger. You're on top. You can walk on me if you feel like it, or you can condescend to actually be on my side! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I was only trying to help!"

"By judging my lifestyle and telling me about everything I've been doing wrong? Yeah, thanks for all the help, Hakkai! You _know_ why I screw around!"

"Do I? Am I supposed to guess how you feel and assume that I'm right?"

"Well, I thought you knew." Gojyo wiped a thin thread of blood from his lips. "Maybe you're not the guy I thought you were."

Hakkai glared at him, not sure what to see. They'd never fought like this before, and he didn't like the way it felt; he didn't like the tear he could feel, ripping between them. He wanted to patch that rip, to put things back in order, but one look at Gojyo's face and he could see just how impossible that was.

"If I want a high and mighty lecture, Hakkai, I'll go talk to Sanzo. The last thing I want to deal with is two assholes, so maybe you should have gone with him."

He grabbed Gojyo's jacket again and shoved him into the wall again, spoke inches from his face, "I came with you because I didn't want to leave you behind. I don't like being apart: we've got Ikku to thank for that."

Gojyo looked defiant for just a moment, but the words seemed to strike a chord, and he sighed, "Yeah, I guess we do."After a few seconds of silence he added, "Listen, man, I didn't mean what I said…about Kanan…I'm just angry."

"I don't understand why."

"Yeah. I don't either."

"In any case, I didn't mean what I said either."

The hybrid closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall, "Forget it. It's the truth."

Hakkai didn't like that. He didn't like that at all. For a few extra moments, he held onto Gojyo's jacket, studying his friend's face. "I won't use that against you ever again, I swear it."

"Look, never mind, Hakkai, I'm serious. It's not a big deal. Besides, I sort of deserved it, so…just don't worry about it."

"Regardless, what I said was a cheap shot, and I'm not going to use it again."

"That's fine. And I promise not to throw Kanan in your face."

Hakkai allowed a smile to touch his lips and released Gojyo's jacket.

"Damn, I need a cigarette."

"At least the rain is stopping. Soon we'll be able to move on."

Gojyo stood at the entrance, his eyes scanning the horizon in the direction they'd come from, "Do you think they're really following us?"

"I'm not sure. Naturally they would follow the tire tracks that Jeep left; but perhaps when they got to the fork in the road they noticed our footprints. Then again, I suppose it's possible that we got enough of a head start that they might not catch up for hours. Hopefully the rain washed our footprints out all together and they might not find us at all."

"I want them to," Gojyo murmured.

Hakkai looked at him, a little surprised, thinking again of his suicide mission theory, "Why, may I ask, is that?"

"I don't like being hunted. I just want to get it over with."

"I at least would like to know what kind of weapons they have." Hakkai reached out to test the atmosphere beyond the shrine, "The rain seems to be gone. Shall we press on?"

Gojyo didn't answer. He stayed firmly planted where he was, as if he were going to stand and wait until Shen and the others appeared.

Hakkai grabbed his arm, "Sanzo _will_ leave us."

"Yeah. What a saint he is."

"We need to keep moving: waiting for them to catch up will accomplish nothing."  
"Maybe not…"

"I don't understand why you're so eager to fight him when you don't have so much as an idea as to what it is he intends to do to you."

"I'm banking on being stronger than he is. After all, he's just a human."

"You're half-human." Hakkai said gently. He wanted to make sure Gojyo took no offense to the statement; after all, his friend seemed easily provoked today.

"Half-youkai."

Hakkai looked out at the horizon and thought he saw a very distant spark, like a fire of some kind. He moved closer to Gojyo, putting a firm hand on his shoulder, whispering in his ear, "Please Gojyo, let's just go. We must catch up to Sanzo."

"Do you really think Shen will stop hunting me unless one of us is dead?"

"One can only hope."

"Hope's not good enough. I have to know."

"I don't want to find out, Gojyo. I don't want to know what he wants to do to you. Jiya seemed fairly certain that whatever he has in store would be enough to take care of you."

Gojyo gave him a brief glance, "She did, didn't she."

"I for one am not at all curious to know."

For several seconds, Gojyo was silent. "Huh. All right then." He draped his arm over Hakkai's neck and started walking, "Let's go then."

Hakkai let go of a sigh of relief, accepting the physical contact, and they walked on.

As it turned out, the shortcut was dangerous and required a lot of physical strength and energy. Sanzo attempted to drive Jeep until the road got too narrow to do so, his driving skills wobbly and uncertain, and a few times they actually came close to hitting a tree. But after the path was too thin to drive on, Sanzo stopped the car, mumbling a few curses, ordered Goku to carry the luggage, had Jeep transform back, and then they continued on foot.

The woods were dark and shady, filled with the haunting cries of animals, and Sanzo and Goku had found themselves going in deeper and deeper until they could scarcely see the sunlight that came from above the canopy of trees. At one point they came to the bottom of a deep canyon that stretched far away into the south, and they had to scale the sheer face of a cliff. To make matters worse, while they were climbing, a violent rainstorm started up, soaking Sanzo to the bones and making his robes heavy with water. Fortunately, the town was only a few miles beyond the cliff; It was considerably larger than the last, full of inns, and some kind of celebration seemed to be going on. Of course, Goku began whining for food immediately, but Sanzo merely ignored him. After the hike through the dark, wet woods, he was in no mood to put up with anyone's demands. They made their way to a cheap inn, ordered a room, and retired there to wait out the next day and a half to see if Hakkai and Gojyo would make it. Once they were there, Sanzo removed his robe and inspected it, furious to see that aside from being covered with dirt, it was also tattered and ragged at the hem. He managed to wash and mend it, but that didn't make it any less annoying.

Goku spent a while by the window, watching anxiously for their comrades, until Sanzo got irritated and told him that there was no way Hakkai and Gojyo would be arriving any time soon, whether they had run into Shen or not.

The boy seemed upset by the idea of his friends spending the night in a rainstorm, and he even talked about it all through dinner. "Sanzo," he asked that night, as he took off his boots and shirt to get in bed, "that mob woulda' followed the tire tracks, don't ya' think? So since they haven't found us yet, doesn't it mean they went after Hakkai and Gojyo?"

Sanzo shrugged and put out his last cigarette of the day, "The rainstorm was fairly heavy, so there might not have been any tracks for them to follow. At any rate, even if they did follow us, there's no way for us to tell whether they're here or not: the town's too big for that."

"How're Hakkai and Gojyo gonna' find us?"

It was a question that had already been nagging at Sanzo, so he snapped, "How the hell should I know, Goku? Just go to sleep."

They shut off the lights and lay quietly in the dark for a moment. Sanzo could hear Goku breathing easily and the rain drumming on the roof outside. He listened for any sound of someone coming down the hall, and paid close attention to make sure there weren't any youkai auras around, good or bad. Goku was all he could sense.

"What kinda' weapons d'ya' think those guys have, Sanzo? Ya' think it'll be enough to work against Gojyo and Hakkai?"

"Listen Goku, my only problem is that if they don't show up here tomorrow night we're down to just the two of us. Now will you be quiet and go the hell to sleep?"

Goku was quiet for a few seconds, and then Sanzo heard him turning over in his bed, "G'night Sanzo."

"Good night." Sanzo mumbled against the pillow, and then closed his eyes. But he couldn't sleep. The night wore on, and the rain kept pounding, and Sanzo's mind was full of concerns. Shen knew he was dealing with a hybrid, so wouldn't he be equipped to deal with youkai powers? Gojyo and Hakkai were powerful, even for youkai, but they might be reluctant to fight and kill humans, and that was an extreme disadvantage. Sanzo rarely hesitated. When he had to kill someone he did it, whether or not they were human, and that wasn't because he didn't care about life; it was just that he'd learned as a child that it was the only way to survive. There had been times when, if he hadn't killed without thinking, he would be dead now. Hopefully Hakkai and Gojyo would have the same sense if it came to a fight with Shen. Going to Houtou castle without them would be a suicide mission.

In the morning, Sanzo took Goku to get some food at a restaurant near their inn. At least he didn't have to feed three greedy bastards. Goku ate enough for three people as it was, so feeding everyone was really like feeding six or seven people. Sanzo wasn't very hungry, as usual, so he just sipped some tea, sucked a cigarette and watched in disgust as Goku devoured plateful after plateful of rich, expensive food, agitation growing all the while. He kept an eye on the door too, actually hoping that Hakkai and Gojyo would walk in at any minute. There was no sign of either of them all morning.

After breakfast, Sanzo decided to take a walk through the town. He told Goku it was just to get an idea of where things were and make sure everything was peaceful, but in reality he was hoping to run into the other two. The town was large and full of lots of different kinds of people, so Sanzo kept his eyes alert for anyone suspicious. He hated walking through the crowd of people, especially when people stared at him or asked him for money. Why couldn't everyone just leave him alone? He was fed up with people all together, and after just a few minutes, he was ready to go back to the inn and stay there.

When he was just about to turn back in that direction, Goku suddenly stopped, "Sanzo, listen."

"What is it? We just ate, so if this is about food-"

"No. Listen to that guy."

Annoyed, Sanzo sighed and tried to see what Goku was seeing. The monkey was staring at a man who was just a few years older than himself, dressed in simple, earth-colored clothes, a crowd gathered around him, listening and whispering to himself. Sanzo tried to hear what he was saying and caught only a small fragment of the conversation.

"…right! I saw it myself…coming this way…child of Taboo…!"

At the words, several of the people gathered around gasped and cursed.

Sanzo stared at the man, trying to figure out who he was. He didn't look familiar in any way.

"Sanzo," Goku tugged at his robe, "whadya' think he's talkin' about? D'ya' think he ran into Gojyo, or d'ya' think there's another around here somewhere?"

It was a good question, and even though Sanzo really didn't want to get involved, he knew it was worth knowing. "Dammit." He walked towards the man who was giving the news, pushing easily through the crowd to touch his shoulder, "Hey, you, what the hell are you talking about?"  
The man spun around and stared at him, his mouth hanging open in a manner that made Sanzo want to slap him. "You…you're a priest…a _Sanzo_ priest!"

"So what if I am?"

"Oh, Lord Priest," the man fell to his knees, clinging to Sanzo's robes, "thank goodness you're here! There's a monster coming this way!"

"Get off me." Sanzo tired to push the man away, but he clung tightly.

"Priest Sanzo, there's a child of taboo coming this way, right now, heading to this town. I saw him myself! He had hair and eyes the color of blood and a smile like the devil's!"

Sanzo stole a glance at Goku, who just shrugged. "Was he alone?"

"No sir; he was traveling with humans; no doubt they have no ideas what's among them! The beast will surely kill them one night in their sleep—please Priest Sanzo, please, you must confront and destroy this menace!" The people around them began to agree and chant, pleading for holy protection.

"Would you keep your damn head and listen to me? I need to know more if you expect me to do anything. This half-blood, what direction was he coming from? About how old was he?"

"He comes from the east, my Lord…I couldn't get close enough to see his age. But his hair was long."

Sanzo relaxed a little; that was Gojyo for certain. He shook the man off a little roughly, "Thank-you for your time."

"But Priest Sanzo, aren't you going to go and meet it when it enters the town? Isn't there anything you can do?"

"It has nothing to do with me, and I'm sure that as long as he's traveling with humans he's not intending to attack."

"But-"

"Shut it. Don't you have anyone else to rant to? Come on, Goku, let's get back to the inn."

"It's Gojyo, right? There's not another half-blood comin', is there?"

"Don't get so excited, Goku, this isn't a good thing."

Goku frowned, "Whad'ya mean it's not good? It means the others're okay, doesn't it?"

"For now. But if that guy's really running around warning everyone that a child of Taboo is on his way here what kind of reception do you think Gojyo and Hakkai are going to get when they arrive?"

"Ohhh…you're right. That's not too good, is it?"

"It creates a trap: with Shen's men behind us, and these people terrified of being attacked, it's going to put a lot of pressure on us to get out of here quickly."

"Maybe Shen's behind this—maybe he sent that guy to 'cause trouble."

"Possibly, but I doubt it was that guy. I never saw him while we were in the other village, and even if it was just that I don't remember him, he would definitely recognize us."

"Well, maybe he's another traveler who passed Gojyo and Hakkai on the road."

"I don't think that's the case either: he said the half-blood was traveling with humans, not just one man. I think that this is just a rumor someone else started. In fact, I'm sure that someone came into this village, spreading it around that a child of taboo is coming and trying to get the townspeople excited and anxious. They obviously knew what kind of situation it would put us in."

"But who would do that? Shen? Did he take the shortcut and get here right after us?" Goku looked around, like he thought he'd see the man somewhere.

"I think it's more likely that he sent someone in his place."

Goku thought about that for a minute, and Sanzo could see the pensive look clearly on his face, "What're we gonna' do, Sanzo? At this rate, Hakkai and Gojyo won't be able t' get int' town. Maybe we should meet 'em at the front gate."

"Wouldn't do any good. We still have to go through this village to keep going, and we need to stock up on supplies."

"Then what-"

"Gojyo got himself into this mess, he'll just have to cope with the consequences."  
"So we're just gonna' sit an' wait for those two t' find us?"

"There's not much else we can do." Sanzo lit a cigarette and sighed, "This whole ordeal is really starting to annoy me." Goddamn Kappa, why couldn't he keep his hands to himself?

As they made their way back to the inn, Sanzo glanced toward the eastern road where Hakkai and Gojyo would be arriving soon. Hopefully.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six: Fight

Chapter Six: Fight

It was cold and wet when Gojyo woke up, the grass beneath him soaked with dew and rain water, his clothes saturated as well, his hair heavy with the moisture. It had drizzled off and on throughout the night, and the only shelter they'd been able to find was a small tree, standing alone in the middle of the meadow. All night the wind and rain had attacked, dying for a few hours at a time, just long enough to give him a chance to fall asleep for a while, only to wake him again, just a little bit later.

When he opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was Hakkai's face, just an inch or so from his own, and he could feel his warm breath feathering across his cheek and forehead. The two of them had lain down a few feet away from one another, but as the night had wore on their bodies had curled tightly together in search of some warmth, and now they were lying side by side, arms around each other, faces nearly touching, sharing what little body heat they had between them. The fire they had built must have gone out a long time ago.

Gojyo sat up carefully, doing his best not to wake his friend; at the moment, he didn't care if he'd slept in the arms of a dude last night. That was the least of his worries. Right now he just wanted a cigarette more than he wanted anything else. His whole body was itching for one, demanding it, begging for nicotine. It had been over twelve hours since Hakkai had lost all of his Hi-Lites, and Gojyo didn't think he could stand it for much longer. Doing his best to ignore the craving, he rubbed his hands together, breathing on them in a shallow attempt to make them warm up. When that didn't work, he shoved them deep into his coat pockets instead. It was colder than ever now, sitting up in the very beginning of the pale dawn. At least lying there in the grass, close to the trunk of a tree, half-smothered by Hakkai's warm body, he'd been partially warm. He was half-tempted to just lay down again and go back to sleep until the sun had dried the world out a little.

Beside him, Hakkai stirred in his sleep, unconsciously reaching with his hand, searching for the heat that had been there only minutes ago. Gojyo smiled wryly.

The smile faded quickly as he looked down the road from the way they'd come yesterday. The sun was still rising, casting a reddish light over the countryside, turning the clouds fire-bright colors, and the path they'd come looked long and endless. Moving on the horizon in a steady, dark stream, was a crowd of people, carrying blazing torches and steel weapons that gleamed in the light. He could see that all of them were strong, tall men, and he estimated that there were about sixty of them. Already they were dangerously close. In just five minutes they'd be parallel to where he and Hakkai were. If they happened to notice the tree and look that way, they'd see him.

Gojyo cursed and stood up to stretch, stamping his feet to warm them up a little. His boots were just as wet as everything else, and his feet were frozen. He didn't care if they saw him. He wanted them to see him, and to attack so that he'd have an excuse to kill Shen, and then he could move on. Rubbing his arms, Gojyo looked down at his friend, who was still half-hidden in the tall grass. It wasn't fair to make Hakkai fight his fight for him, and as a grown man, Gojyo certainly didn't need anyone fighting his battles for him, but he knew that if the youkai got involved that was exactly what would happen. He toyed with the idea of going out to the road to meet Shen and his group, leaving Hakkai here for now. If things went well, he might have Shen dead and all the other humans running for home before Hakkai even woke up.

He didn't get to consider the possibilities for long before his movement woke Hakkai and the youkai sat up, yawning and shaking dew out of his hair, "Good heavens, it's cold, isn't it?"

"You could say that." Gojyo knelt to dig through his bag one last time, just to make sure he really didn't have an extra pack of smokes.

"Did you sleep all right?"

"Nah. It rained the whole time, y' know? Probably didn't get more than four hours."

"Yes, I don't think I did much better than that myself. What are you looking for? Do you want me to make us some breakfast?"

Gojyo shook his head and gave up on the bag, "Probably not a good idea just yet."

"Oh, I suppose you want a cigarette, is that it? I apologize again, Gojyo, I know how badly you need them. Especially in the morning."

"I don't need them, I just like to smoke. I can quit any day I want."

"Like hell you can." Hakkai muttered. He hadn't been himself at all yesterday, and today didn't look like it was going to be much better.

After a moment, Hakkai gasped. He must have noticed the mob heading toward them, "Look Gojyo."

"Yeah, I saw. Well, what do you wanna' do about it?"

"I believe," Hakkai got on his feet, "it's a bit late to run."

"Me too. But," Gojyo swung his pack over his shoulder, "I wasn't plannin' on running anyway."

"You're going to face them?"

"There's not really another choice." The hybrid glanced at his friend's worry-contorted face as he started to walk down to the road.

Hakkai grabbed his shoulder, "Just a moment Gojyo, don't you think it might be best to try and reason with Shen first? I think that if you give me a chance to talk to him I can resolve this peacefully."

Gojyo scowled, "Are you crazy? That fat bastard doesn't wanna' talk to you, he wants to kill me, and it's not just because of Jiya, and you know it; maybe if it was just about Jiya I'd agree, 'cause we didn't do anything, but Shen's pissed because of what I am." The hybrid ground his teeth together angrily, "Like hell I'm gonna' let him kill me for it."

"Yes," Hakkai sighed resignedly, "I suppose you're right about that. But regardless, I'm going with you. If it does come to a fight, you might be able to take them all on your own."

"Yeah, but we don't know what kind of toys they brought, do we?"

"No, that's just the problem." Hakkai looked at the oncoming group again, "Let's go, but carefully. Don't act too eager to fight."

"What makes you think I'm eager to fight," Gojyo clenched a fist without meaning to.

Hakkai gave him a look out of the corner of his eye, "Now be serious."

"Whatever you say." Gojyo grinned brightly at him, and then ran down to the road in a blur of red and brown. He was eager to fight, not because of any kind of cruelty or boredom, but out of anger and disgust for Shen. He wanted to show the arrogant human that threatening him had been a mistake. Besides that, he could remember how Jiya had warned him and how she had said that Shen was intimidating and dangerous. He wanted to prove her wrong. He wanted Shen's friends to go home and tell her about Shen getting his ass kicked.

The excitement rose to the top of him and came spurting out his mouth, "Shen!" He leapt lightly over the ditch that separated the road from the meadow, landed in the mud, smirking at the force of startled humans in front of him. Hakkai was right behind him, just a little off to the side.

Shen, who was positioned at the front of the group, glared at him, "Well, well. So you stopped running, did you, kid?"

"Who's runnin'? We weren't runnin', were we, Hakkai? We have no reason to run from you."

"Still got that cocky attitude I see; well kid, it's not going to do you much good to be pompous. You took my fiancée from me, you humiliated me in the eyes of my town, my family and my friends, and I'll be damned if a worthless mutt like you gets away with that."

"Bring it on then, ass wipe, and don't think I'm going to go easy just because-"

Gojyo felt Hakkai's hand on his shoulder.

"Excuse me Gojyo, but I'd like to talk to him before you spill any human blood. Mister Shen, I assure you that Gojyo had absolutely no intentions whatsoever to take Jiya away from you. I'll admit he's a tactless man, but he's not an utter fool. I highly recommend that you forget the ordeal and go home to your woman, and we'll be sure to never trouble you again."

"Don't feed me that crap! This freak deserves whatever I give him, and you know it. Now step aside, or I might have to kill you too."

Hakkai answered in a cold tone, "I think, sir, you are the one who should watch your step. You see, I don't care what other people think, but I personally believe that it would be a great waste of life to kill this man just because of what he is. He could help who his parents were no more than you could."

"Gime' a break, Hakkai." Gojyo muttered, leveling a hateful glare on Shen. He surveyed the other men shortly. No one looked very dangerous: they were all the home-grown, country type, carrying torches and shovels and axes.

"Are you saying you intend to protect this abomination?" Shen sounded truly outraged by the idea.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. He is not someone I mean to watch die. Ever."

"The freak's beyond saving. He stole my woman from me, and I'm going to kill him and get her back. So let's hear it, Gojyo, where's Jiya?"

Gojyo's heart stopped beating at the sound of that name, and he stared, absolutely stunned, at Shen for several minutes, "What are you talking about? She's not with us."

"You sent her ahead with the Sanzo then? You've been planning to ambush and kill me!"

"Like hell I did! Look, you goddamn prick, I didn't do nothin' with your precious-"

"Are you telling us that Jiya is gone?"

Shen smiled, "You say it so innocently."

"If that's the case, I assure you that we had nothing to do with it."

"I don't believe you. This freak has been watching her ever since he came to our village, and then I catch him kissing her. The next thing I know, he's skipped town and Jiya's gone too! You explain it!"

"Maybe she got fed up with how abusive you are." Gojyo drawled.

"I've given that damn bitch the best years of her life! Now for the last time, you tell me where she is, and I don't have to kill you."

"Like I believe that," Gojyo summoned his shakujou and a flash of silver, "you're gonna' try to kill me anyway, whether or not I know where she is. So let's just get this over with."

"Fine then," Shen grinned hideously, "boys, let's clean up this mess."

At the words, three men moved forward. All of them were tall and brawny, built like oxen; one was carrying an axe, another had a atout, wooden club, and the last was holding a long, thin sword.

"Is this a joke? You think these hayseeds are gonna' do some damage?" Gojyo threw his head back and laughed, water dripping from his hair as he did so.

"Remember, Gojyo, they're only humans," Hakkai murmured, "So please try to refrain from killing them."

The man with the axe shouted and ran forward, swinging his weapon with a mighty arm, attempting to remove Gojyo's head from his shoulders, but the half-blood dodged easily, smiling a little as he did, and kicked the man so hard in the stomach that he was knocked unconscious. Then he turned to the man with the club, who was doing his best to bludgeon him to death. It was easy to slice through the wood with the blade of the shakujou, and dispatch the man with a sound blow to the head. Gojyo darted to the side as the man with the sword came forward and almost cut his arm off, spun around smoothly, hair flying with the movement, and hit him with the shaft of his weapon at the base of the skull. The man slumped to the ground even as more were rushing forward to replace their fallen comrades.

Gojyo laughed a little, dodging between fighters, dipping to avoid decapitation, feinting away to evade being torn into by a pick axe. Someone tried to shoot him with a bow and arrow, but the hybrid evaded that onslaught easily, destroyed the bow with a flick of his wrist. He controlled the Shakujou blade with ease, obliterating weapons, but making sure not to injure any humans. He smiled at Shen, who was standing back, watching his men being taken down by a single fighter. "Why don't you fight me one on one, you coward?"

"I don't need to fight you to kill you, bastard." Shen smiled back, his face looking cold and demonic in the brightly rising sun. "That's all you are. A bastard. In every sense of the word."

"Ooo, don't go hurting my feelings now." Gojyo purposely severed the hand of a man who was attacking him with a shovel, partly to show Shen that he was outmatched, and partly because the words really did make him angry.

The man screamed and collapsed to the ground, bright red blood spurting from the stump of his wrist.

"Gojyo!" Hakkai scolded.

"My bad." The hybrid was still facing Shen, smile still in place, but the anger throbbing in his veins was an all-destroying force, something he couldn't really control or ignore. He wanted to do more than sever appendages. He wanted to kill.

"Maybe in hand-to-hand combat I'm no match for you, kid, but don't' think I came out here unprepared. You see, there are two kinds of _your_ kind. There are hybrids who are gentle and weak, like a human, and they don't put up much of a fight." Shen grinned, remembering some horrible memory, "Some say that they're sweet."

Gojyo felt his gut twist as he recognized what Shen was insinuating, and he remembered Jiya's story about the other child of taboo that had been killed, "You filthy bastard…"

"The other kind of hybrid are the ones who give in to their youkai instincts, who love to fight and to kill: they're just as murderous and just as dangerous and as strong as any full-blooded monster, that's for sure. You, I believe, are one of the latter. You're cold and heartless, just as uncaring and incapable of love as the devil himself. There's no goodness in your heart, no emotions to restrain you when you feel like killing. You take and take and take from the rest of the world, never giving, terrorizing peace-loving people. Stealing men's women. The only thing human about you, kid, is your looks, and even then, not much. At your core you're nothing but a monster."

The words were like a slap in the face, a deep shadow, shrouding Gojyo, coming around him on all sides and taking away his confidence in himself. He tried to reason the words away, tried to convince himself that Shen was just being an asshole and that he didn't know what he was talking about, but the conversation he'd had with Hakkai was still fresh in his mind.

_"…the way she looked at you before we left, made me think that she might actually be in love with you, that she might actually be hoping for something from you. Something a man like you could never give…_

_…At least I can understand what love is…_

_…And don't you dare speak about Kanan! I loved her! Much more than anyone like you could understand…!"_

He turned his head and looked at Hakkai, but his friend's face was void of any expression. He wondered if somewhere, deep inside, Hakkai was agreeing with Shen.

"And, seeing how you're more youkai than human, I think I know how I can kill you. I've killed two hybrids in my life, kid, one of each kind, so I know that I can handle you." Shen reached into his pocket, that horrible smile still on his face, and Gojyo let him. What he revealed was a long, black gun with a straight, narrow barrel. It shone like onyx in the sun and had a strange look to it. It was a kind of gun Gojyo had never seen. He noticed immediately that all the remaining men-there were only about twenty left conscious-were holding one as well.

"You know what these are? They're called 'banishing guns'. Back when all the youkai went crazy people started trying to get a hold of them. Me and my buddies here all hate youkai, and we'd started an anti-youkai group a long time ago; of course, we jumped at the chance to get our hands on some of these, so we went miles and miles to the biggest city we knew of, and bought a bunch."

"Oh, and that's supposed to scare me? It's not even a real gun! Does it have bullets or holy water in it?"

"Neither. What the banishing guns shoot are actually poison darts. The poison enters the veins and is supposed to act as an agent that is deadly to youkai. It's a slow, painful way to die, like getting very, very sick and losing your mind at the same time. Unfortunately, we found out that these 'banishing guns' are just about useless against a full youkai. The immune system of a youkai is much stronger than a human's is, and humans didn't take that into consideration when these were created. The compound isn't strong enough. However," the smile deepened and Shen's eyes began to shine, "we also discovered that the immune system of _your_ kind-a human-youkai hybrid-is more human than youkai, and the poison works wonders on you mutts. One dart is all it takes," he cocked the gun, "and you'll be one sad, sorry bastard, dying on the side of the road like the dog you are."

Gojyo looked down the barrel of the gun and felt a shudder stealing through him. He didn't know what to believe about what he was hearing. On one hand, he thought it was sort of a stupid story that Shen was probably making up to scare him. But on the other hand, what good would that do? Shen was here to kill him, not to scare him away. He hadn't given any option to surrender and be spared the pain. He was just going to shoot him. That made Gojyo think that the guns might really work. Especially if Shen had actually killed hybrids before. He took a small step back, eyes sweeping over the situation. He was used to dodging bullets, thanks to Sanzo. But Sanzo had never really tried to shoot him with the actual intent of killing. And Sanzo only had one gun. Gojyo was surrounded by twenty.

"So shoot me," he dared, holding his weapon tighter and getting ready to dodge. The best thing he could do was appear confident, so that maybe, if it was a bluff, Shen would back down, or at least hesitate.

"With pleasure" Shen leveled the gun at Gojyo's chest, beginning to squeeze the trigger.

In a blur of green, Hakkai was between them, "Don't you dare."

"Hakkai." Gojyo snapped. He didn't like seeing his friend between him and danger, yet again. "Get the fuck out of the way."

"He can't hurt me."

"Look here, kid," Shen scowled, "there's a lot more of us than you, so if I were you, I'd just run along and find your other friends. This dirty animal is getting what he deserves."

"Oh my," Hakkai smiled, "I nearly forgot. You don't understand who I am, do you?"

"What the hell do you mean by that?"

"I mean, of course, that you're still under the impression that I am a human, but that's where you're wrong." Hakkai's voice was so icy Gojyo felt nauseous. He pictured the penetratingly fierce expression on his friend's face, the expression that he always wore when he was furious, and shuddered. The youkai touched his left ear where his power limiters were clipped, "Do I make myself clear?"

"You're a youkai? You expect us to believe that? It's a pretty poor imitation, kid; you don't behave like a youkai. Why haven't you gone crazy? Why would a youkai put up with a mutt like him?"

"Perhaps my kind are a bit more tolerant towards his kind than your kind are."

"I still say it doesn't make any sense."

"Shall I demonstrate." Hakkai toyed with one clip.

It was enough to make Shen hesitate.

"This is my fight, Hakkai," Gojyo snapped, "Get the hell out of the way."

"You know better."

Gojyo muttered, "If you take that off, and then kill some humans you might like it. You might go berserk. I'm not worth that."

"No, I suppose you aren't." Hakkai crouched, cupping his hands together and beginning to create a blast of bright, yellow chi, "not to anyone else at least."

One of the younger men near the front of the line stared at him in horror, "What are you doing? What is that?"

The youkai laughed, "Just a bit of excess energy. Would you like to try some?"

"Sir," the man whined, looking at Shen, "maybe he really is a youkai. I've never seen a human who could do that."

"Shut up Cheng. We're not going back unless that half-blood freak is dead."

But, sir-"  
"I said shut up!"

Regardless of what he had said, many of the men were beginning to back off, their eyes shifting from Hakkai, to Gojyo, to Shen, and then back to Hakkai, each time looking more and more convinced, and more and more afraid. It wasn't long until Shen was standing out in front of them all, utterly exposed.

Gojyo grinned at the sight, swung his shakujou, aiming around Hakkai and directing the blade towards Shen. One of the few men who hadn't started retreating yet, screamed and dove at Shen in an attempt to knock him down. The blade struck him instead, slicing cleanly through his body.

Angrily, Hakkai spun around, "Gojyo!"  
His movement left Gojyo open for a clear shot at Shen and gave Shen a clear shot at Gojyo. The hybrid tried to get control of his shakujou, which was still flying wildly through the air, but he didn't have time to retract it and then throw it again. The human fired his gun in an instant and the weapon projected a small dart of pinkish liquid.

"Shit!"

"Gojyo!"

Hakkai shoved him to the ground and the bullet lodged in his own shoulder. The youkai screamed in pain and yanked the dart out of his skin. Blood dripped off the needle.

"Hakkai! Did it hit you?"

"Yes. No thanks to you." Hakkai crushed the dart in one hand and faced the humans again, "Now you've gone and made me angry."

"We tried to warn you." Shen said simply. He was smiling, even though the majority of his men were retreating back the other way, screaming loudly in the open air. "That's what happens when you decide to go protecting worthless half bloods."

"I suggest you leave now. Your army seems to be abandoning you, and I hate to think of what might happen to you if you attempt to face both of us on your own."

The smile didn't fade, "Yes, I guess you're right, _youkai_. But this isn't over yet, not so long as this freak is alive."

"I'm warning you once, Shen," Gojyo got to his feet, feeling angry and humiliated, "if you ever show your face to me again, I'll tear you apart with my bare hands."

Shen pointed one large finger at the hybrid, "No, I promise, next time we meet it will be you who dies."

With that, the human turned away and followed his men back down the road.

Hakkai sighed and rubbed his shoulder.

"Hey man, you all right? You didn't have to do that, you know."  
"Hm. I believe he was telling the truth when he said this poison has no affect on full-blooded youkai: I don't feel any difference at all in my body."

"Yeah, well let's celebrate in a few hours if there's still nothing wrong." Gojyo let the shakujou disappear, ran one hand through his hair.

"What about you? How do you feel?"

"What are you talkin' about? I'm great, other than you had to step in and try to fight my fight for me. They never touched me."

Hakkai shook his head, expression betraying annoyance, "I wasn't referring to your physical condition, Gojyo, I was referring to your emotional condition."

"I really need a fuckin' cigarette." Gojyo fumbled through his pockets, knowing he wouldn't find one, but looking anyway. "I'm just great, Hakkai. Why wouldn't I be?"  
"He said some very harsh things about your kind. And not just your kind: those things he said were directly aimed at you—your character and your behavior."

"What the hell do I care what a jackass like that thinks of me."

"Well, to tell the truth, it's not just what he said that bothers me; I found a lot of similarity in what I said to you yesterday."

Gojyo shrugged but refused to look at Hakkai, not wanting his friend to see the shame and the anger he was feeling, "Hell, never mind, Hakkai, I know you were just pissed. Besides, it could be true…I could be incapable of love…I could be more youkai than human, I guess. I guess…maybe it's a good thing to be more youkai than human. Youkai are on top, huh?" He smiled, but it felt very forced, even to him. Especially to him. He knew that saying youkai were on top did not include himself. He felt very much at the bottom. "Huh. I really thought you were going to take off your limiter there for a minute."

Hakkai laughed, "Did I scare you?"  
"I'm still not over the last time I saw you…in that form…" Gojyo kicked at the ground, thinking for a moment about full-youkai Hakkai and just how insanely powerful he was. "What's it like anyway, being in that form. Does it change the way you think and stuff?"

"No, not particularly." Hakkai cocked his head and looked at his friend, "Do you wish you had been born a full youkai, Gojyo?"

"Me? Naw. Not really. Looks like it sort of sucks right now."

"Would you want to be fully human then?"

Gojyo snorted, "No. Not that either. It looks like it sucks worse."

"In that case…are you saying that you're glad to have been born the way you are?" Hakkai's voice seemed gentle, like the falling rain had been. Something inescapable and frightening in the silence of it.

"Glad?" Gojyo mumbled. "Glad? Hell, why would I be glad? Hell no, I'm not glad I was born like this. Hell, I wish I hadn't been born at all. As much as it sucks to be a youkai, as much as it sucks to be a human…I get to feel both. I get to face both sides of the prejudice, all the hate, all the non-acceptance, from both groups. You're wrong about one thing—the youkai I've known have never been more accepting to me than the humans I've known. Definitely not in my home town."

"I see."

Gojyo clenched his teeth, feeling the anger swell hotter than ever, deep in his internal core, "I don't get what the big deal is. Look at me. You can't even tell I've got youkai in me. That bastard human wants to kill me for being part youkai, but he wouldn't even know I'm part youkai if it weren't for my goddamn hair and eyes! I look human! Shit. If I dyed my hair black and put in some green contacts people would think you and I are brothers! If I _bleached_ my hair and put in some goddamn purple contacts people could think I'm fuckin' _Sanzo's_ brother! That's what it's all about!"

Gojyo saw the silent look on Hakkai's face and smiled bitterly, "This hair, these eyes, fuck it all, that's all there is to it! Shave my head, gouge out my eyes, I could go wherever the fuck I wanted to go! I could screw whoever I wanted, eat wherever I wanted, drink with who I felt like drinkin' with; I could be a fucking human if it weren't for this!"

Angrily he gave a tug on a single, fine tendril of crimson hair.

"So why don't I, huh? Why don't you and me run into town and grab a box of dye and a carton of colored contacts and just go around sayin' I'm your big, goddamn bro? Hell, why stop there? Let's say we're twins! No one'll ever know!"

"Gojyo, I-"

"Shit, it's so easy. Why don't I do it? Why didn't I do it a long time ago? It's like I'm an idiot that never thought of it." Gojyo kicked the ground again, more passionately this time, actually sending a rock skittering down the road. He turned on Hakkai, yelling in his face, "I'll tell ya' why I've never done that, dammit! 'Cause I shouldn't have to! I shouldn't fucking have to hide what I am just for people to respect or give one shit about me! What I am shouldn't change how people act towards me! Youkai or human! I'm both for God's sake, I should fit right in with either group! They're the one's who are wrong, Hakkai! Not me, so why should I change for them! If I changed my hair and eyes I coulda' fucked Jiya all night long and left in the morning with Shen's blessing!" He threw his pack down and kicked it vehemently. "But I'm not gonna' change for all you bastards! I don't have to! I don't want to! Fuck you all! Fuck everyone! Fuck, fuck, fuck! I don't give a shit! I'm not changing for them! They can say what they want and they can try ta' kill me! They can shoot me or beat the shit outta' me or do whatever the hell they want ta' me, but I'm not losing to them! No _fucking_ way!"

Shaking with fury and panting from the fit, Gojyo fell on his knees, shoulders heaving with breath; he punched the ground as hard as he could, feeling the earth quake beneath him. He hit it again and again, feeling his knuckles bruise and his wrist buckling. It felt so good. He imagined it was Shen's face he was beating on over and over again. He pictured the small, blunt nose snapping and the yellowed teeth flying everywhere. He imagined himself killing Shen, beating him to death. "Fuck you! Fuck you all, Goddammit!"

"Gojyo," Hakkai touched his shoulder, his voice still gentle, "Gojyo, stop it. Please, try to calm down."

Angrily, the hybrid shoved him away, "Fuck you, Hakkai! You calm down! I have every right to be angry! That asshole tried to kill me because of my _eyes_ goddammit! Even if just my _eyes_ were a different color I wouldn't get any flack!"

"I know, Gojyo, it's not fair. I really can't understand how you feel in this case. I realize that I as well am, in part at least, human, but I suppose it's more accurate to say that I can sympathize with them because I was one once. Perhaps my heart is still human. But other than that, physically, I am fully youkai. I can blend in with humans using a limiter, and I can blend in with youkai without a limiter. My world, compared to yours at least, seems somewhat simple. I suppose in that case, you do have a right to be angry. But I also believe that you're right to never change simply because of what others think of you. I believe the fact that you have not given in to them speaks volumes about who you are as a person. However, I don't think sitting on your hands and knees in the mud, screaming 'fuck you' to the world over and over is the right way to address the situation."  
Gojyo fisted his hands in the mud, "I'm just so angry…I've been angry for so freakin' long."

Hakkai knelt at his side and rested one hand on top of his head, threading his fingers through the long, crimson hair, "No one can escape being judged, Gojyo. Someone is always judging us. And you are an outcast in this world, inherently; it will likely be that way until the day you die. But I refuse to believe what Shen said about you is true: youkai and humans aren't as different as he made them sound."

"They're different enough." Gojyo lowered his head. He was starting to get a hold of himself, not sure where that sudden rage had come from. It had been such a relief for a moment; it had felt good to scream at the top of his lungs and curse the world. But as the rage began to pass he recognized the loneliness it was covering, a deep-seeded loneliness that came from being completely isolated by his blood, and he was glad that Hakkai was beside him.

"I don't think Shen was right: I don't think you're incapable of caring or void of emotions. God knows you've been a better friend to me than anyone else I have ever known in my entire life, and I don't care what the rest of the world thinks of you, or what they say you're like. I have my own opinion of you, unadulterated by popular racism. Everywhere I've been, I've always found that it's better when you're there too."

The words forced a slow, crooked smile to come across Gojyo's lips, but he forced himself to his feet, "Hey now, don't go getting' all sentimental on me, Hakkai; we're both guys, you know."

Hakkai laughed and stood up too, "Yes, yes, of course."

They picked up their supplies and started walking again, leaving the unconscious humans behind.

Gojyo straggled behind for a moment, watching the composed form of his best friend walk ahead as Hakkai began to chatter about how much time they had left and what Sanzo was going to do. Something about that familiar shape and voice made him feel a little less angry. "Hey, Hakkai…"

"Yes?"  
"…Just…you know…thanks."

Hakkai smiled.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven: Outcast

Chapter Seven: Outcast

It was getting dark again when the lights of the town came into view, but Hakkai wasn't worried about Sanzo leaving them behind. He had said that if they didn't catch up by nightfall he would leave, but Hakkai knew Sanzo wasn't going to leave until morning, which left them all night to find the inn where their comrades were staying.

"So there it is at last, huh?" Gojyo said as they neared the gate, "Sure as hell's bigger than the last piece of shit town we were in."

Hakkai just nodded. Gojyo's behavior had been bothering him all day as they'd walked, but not because he'd acted troubled and silent. Instead, Gojyo had acted normally all day, cracking jokes, complaining about wanting a cigarette, wishfully hoping that there'd be some available women when they got to town. All of it was completely in character, just the normal routine for his happy-go-lucky self. He'd been so angry earlier, Hakkai had thought he'd be moody all day, but instead, Gojyo was forcing himself to act normal, and if it wasn't for the look of fury in his crimson eyes anyone who didn't know him as well as Hakkai did might have thought nothing was wrong. But Gojyo was good at hiding how he felt. He was good at covering up his emotions and his worries and just acting the way people expected him to act. It was only when he was in the very pit of despair that the emotions could actually shine through. He wasn't like Sanzo or Hakkai in the fact that he didn't become silent and brooding when something bothered him.

Hakkai on the other hand, was having a hard time acting the way he normally did. Usually he could hide his thoughts and feelings to a degree, but today he was angry too. Gojyo's rage had spilled over into him, and he was furious at the humans for their treatment of his best friend. And he recognized that the anger they were sharing was not necessarily a good thing: as they were now, they were a very dangerous pair.

"First thing we're gonna' do," Gojyo informed him as they walked into town, "is find a place that sells cigarettes."

"Hm? Are you sure we shouldn't find Sanzo and Goku first? He did say that he'd leave us if we didn't catch up by tonight."  
"It's not night yet. The sun hasn't gone down."  
"But it will soon, and we need to find them before it does."

"He's not going anywhere tonight, you and I both know it was a bluff to make us hurry."

"Yes, I guess so." Hakkai felt a little guilty that it was his fault that the cigarettes were gone in the first place, so he gave in.

They were in the town now, and Hakkai looked around nervously. Something didn't seem quite right to him. The streets were full of people, all of them frozen, staring with venomous glares at the two newcomers, their eyes full of hate, their teeth clenched like they wanted to attack something. Hakkai felt a very vibrant tension throughout the air.

Gojyo noticed it right when he did, "Man, what's up with these people, Hakkai? Everyone's…starin'…"

"Yes, I feel it too. Let's hurry and find Sanzo, shall we?"  
"I'm with you."  
A man who was a few inches taller than Gojyo stepped out of the crowd, a look of determination on his face, and stopped in front of them, bringing their journey to a sudden halt. He looked to be in his mid fifties, with well-groomed facial hair, and was wearing brightly colored, expensive-looking clothes, "Excuse me sir," he looked at Hakkai, "I'm an officer of the law in this town, and I feel compelled to suggest that you keep moving on rather than trying to stay the night here."

Hakkai glanced at Gojyo, "Oh, is that so?"

"Yes sir. I think that if you try to stay in this town you'll feel…rather unwelcome…"

"What? So you want us to just keep walking?" Gojyo demanded, and Hakkai heard the anger rising up in his voice again, more real than it had been for hours. He worried that this encounter might set his friend off again.

"I beg your pardon sir, but we're meeting two of our companions sir, so moving on without stopping is quite impossible."

The officer shrugged, "Suit yourself. I can't make you leave, but just be warned that you're making your own decision." With that, he nodded to Hakkai and kept walking.

"What the hell was that about?"

"I can't imagine. Perhaps there's something about traveler's that these people don't like."

"Maybe the whole town's part of some weird cult."

Hakkai forced himself to laugh, even though he didn't feel like it. Everyone was still staring, and he was noticing some particularly violent glares. "Let's just hurry and find Sanzo."

"Not until I've got some smokes."  
Hakkai frowned, but said, "Well, all right. But hurry just the same. I don't like this at all."

Nodding, Gojyo walked across the street, moving toward a shop that was advertising cigarettes; people moved away from as he went, a disconcerting sight in itself. The hybrid didn't seem to notice-or didn't act like he did at least-and Hakkai hurried after him, determined to stay close just in case.

"Hey there, shop keep," Gojyo approached the front counter with all the usual bravado and confidence, fishing through his pockets for money, "two packs of Hi-Lites, and a six pack, if you've got it."

"We don't got it." Growled the shop keeper. He was a tall, rough, balding man with a long, white scar over his left eye.

Gojyo looked up at him in surprise, "What?"

"You heard me, freak; Now get your dirty ass outta' my store."

Hakkai saw the rage swelling, bleeding out of Gojyo's eyes, filling his entire face, a vein bulging on his forehead, his jaw moving back and forth as he ground his teeth together. He took a short step forward, "Now, Gojyo, don't-"

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm in here trying to patronize your goddamn business and you're telling me to get out? What the fuck's your problem?"

Too late.

Growling, the shopkeeper leaned across the counter and grabbed Gojyo by the collar; the other customers were staring, but no one moved to intervene. "I'm _not_ going to say it again, mutt, get the hell out of my store, if you know what's good for you. Your kind's not welcome here."

Hakkai's heart sank as the meaning of the words hit home. He saw Gojyo's face flinch as he realized as well, and his eyes darkened, his hands trembled like he was going to summon his weapon, and unless Hakkai did something quickly he knew that there was going to be a very bloody mess to clean up. "Gojyo," he put a hand on his friend's arm, "never mind. Let's just leave."

"No way. I came in to buy cigarettes, and I'm not leaving without them."

"We'll pick up a carton somewhere else."

The half-blood showed no indication of backing down.

Hakkai attempted to reason with the shopkeeper instead, "Sir, if you'll just give us one pack of Hi-Lites, we'll be on our way."

"I ain't givin' you nothing."  
"Sir, you're being unreasonable!"

"Son, what's wrong with you anyway? Don't you got any idea what you're travelin' with or what? Look at this freak's eyes and hair; that's not natural. This freak's a child of taboo, born from the filthy union of a human and a youkai."

Hakkai felt his own anger beginning to pique, "I know that already." Holding Gojyo's arm a little more firmly, he began to pull his friend away, "Come on, Gojyo, we don't need to buy anything here; we'll simply have to go somewhere else."

He dragged the hybrid out of the building, back into the street, and began to guide him along.

Gojyo wrenched away, "Can you believe that asshole? Not selling me cigarettes—of all the low, dirty things to do."

"Perhaps if you could survive without them it wouldn't seem like such a problem."

"Don't you go getting on me for my habits, Hakkai."

Hakkai was too busy observing their surroundings to reply. The faces he saw hadn't gotten any less hostile, and as they went along everyone stopped to glare and murmur amongst themselves. He was beginning to fear that the shopkeeper's hatred was something that had infected the whole town. "Gojyo, I think we may need to re-think our strategy. Perhaps it would be best if we found Sanzo and Goku, and once we're settled into an inn, then I'll go buy you some cigarettes."

"Yeah, I doubt anyone's gonna' sell 'em to me, huh?"

"No, it doesn't appear so."

"Well, how do we find Sanzo?"  
"We have no choice. We simply have to ask around until someone who's seen him can tell us where to go?"

"Great. Let's see how well that works out."

"Excuse me sir," Hakkai tried to stop a man who was going the other way, "I'm looking for a Sanzo Priest, he was with-"

With an unforgiving glare in Gojyo's direction, the man breezed by.

Next Hakkai tried a young woman who was buying produce with her child at a nearby cart, "Sorry to bother you, Miss, but I'm looking for a Sanzo Priest. He was traveling with a young man aged at about nineteen years of age. Have you seen them?"

The mother looked fearfully at them, then took her son by the hand and hurried away with a short, "I'm afraid not."  
Hakkai tried talking to person after person, but soon it became obvious that no one was going to speak to him, and he was afraid that he knew all too well why that was.

Behind him, Gojyo laughed, "Aw, to hell with it all. We're better off just sittin' down somewhere and waiting for those guys to come and find us."

"You know that they won't though. Sanzo would never exert the effort needed. We have no choice, you and I will have to split up." Hakkai didn't like to say those words, and he couldn't bare to face Gojyo once he had said them.

The hybrid was silent beside him, stopped walking all together, "You want to go one way and I go the other and see if we can find him that way? Leme' tell ya', I don't think I'm gonna' have much luck with that."

"No, I don't suppose you would, but perhaps if you stayed somewhere…out of sight…while I searched…then I could come back to get you."

"You want me to hide somewhere while you look for Sanzo?"

"I'm afraid there isn't another option. I'm sorry."

"Shit."

"I don't like it any more than you do."

"Psh. Whatever, Hakkai." The hybrid began to walk away, "I'll just…wait here for you, I guess."

"I'll be back as soon as I possibly can."

"At least grab me some cigarettes why you're at it."

Hakkai nodded, still not looking back at his companion, and then he pressed on alone, walking in silence for a few moments. It felt wrong to be walking through the streets alone, especially when he was used to traveling with so many people, but it felt particularly wrong to be leaving Gojyo there, as if he were ashamed to be seen with him. But there simply weren't any other options.

After he'd gotten a block or two away from where Gojyo was waiting, Hakkai went into a shop and bought a carton of Hi-Lites with no trouble whatsoever, and then he asked the shopkeeper about Sanzo. Fortunately Sanzo and Goku had come into that same shop earlier to buy Marlboro Reds; the Priest had told the man where they were staying, obviously hoping that Gojyo and Hakkai would wind up here as well.

Hakkai smiled as he thanked the man-it was the first thing that had gone right all day-and then he hurried back to the alley where Gojyo was waiting.

But the hybrid was gone.

Gojyo walked down the street, angrily returning the dirty looks he was being given, glaring as fiercely as he could at anyone who passed him. It was enraging to be looked at like he had two heads or something, and he really just wanted to start beating the snot out of people left and right, but that would obviously be a mistake. As he passed a small family going the other way, a little girl burst into tears and ran screaming to her mommy. Gojyo muttered under his breath. How was it that this whole town could be so completely prejudice against him? Most people didn't even know what red hair and eyes signified, although, he supposed that all people had the same basic feelings toward his kind. This must have been one of the few communities that was in the know. Perhaps they'd had a hybrid living here before. Maybe it had even been one of the hybrids Shen had killed.

Shen. Even just thinking about that assholes face made Gojyo's heart race with anger and his blood boil.

If only he had a cigarette. That would calm his nerves. As it was now, Gojyo felt jumpy and restless, full of wrath and vengeance.

To make matters worse, Hakkai had just walked out on him. The youkai had a good point about not getting answers from anyone as long as they were together, but why should they need to rely on other people to find that damn priest? If Sanzo had a brain in his head, he would have left Jeep outside whatever inn they were staying at, and Gojyo was sure that as long as he and Hakkai kept walking, they would find it. This town was big, but it wasn't that bit. The hybrid hated being left behind by his best friend. It felt too much like being abandoned again, left to fend for himself, even when Hakkai knew that he wasn't welcome in this place and that he'd have a hard time getting along by himself. It was just like what Jien had done.

He wasn't going far from the alley where he was supposed to be hiding like a pussy. He'd go back in a few minutes, just as soon as he'd cleared his head.

Gojyo heard footsteps hurrying up behind him but he didn't turn around to look, assuming it was either Hakkai or one of his other comrades. Or maybe it was some pissed off human who wanted to get in a fight with him. Whatever happened, he wasn't going to give whoever it was the satisfaction of turning around.

Someone grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks. "Gojyo!"

He spun around. Definitely not Hakkai or any of the others. The half-blood was staring into bright, crystalline blue eyes, framed by a delicate, pretty face and raven-dark hair longer than his own.

"Jiya?" he blurted, "What the hell are you doing sneaking up on me like that?"

She smiled, "I saw you walking down the street alone, and thought it would be rude not to say something."

"Shit, girl, what the hell are you even doing here? Why aren't you back home with that nasty boyfriend of yours?"

Jiya looked away distantly, "I've left Shen. For good. That morning, after you and your friends left, he came back to the house, looking for you. He had a gun, and I was afraid he was going to kill you, so I refused to tell him where you'd gone, and I tried to mislead him. We got into a huge fight. So I left and took the shortcut here, hoping to catch up to you."

"You _walked_ all that way?"

"Yes. It only took me two days."

"Dammit, no wonder he said you were gone."

"You ran into him?" She looked worried by that, "Oh God, where are the others? Are they okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, they're fine. Me and Hakkai walked the long way while Sanzo took Goku through the shortcut. Shen caught up to us this morning."

"Did he hurt you?" She touched his arm with her soft, cool hand.

"No. But he tried."

Jiya breathed a sigh of relief. "I didn't realize that he was going to take the whole clan out against you. I'm sorry, Gojyo, but this was all my fault. Can you ever forgive me?"

"For what?" It took Gojyo a minute to remember that this really was all Jiya's fault. For the last day and a half he'd been blaming her, telling the others that it was her who had kissed him, but now, when he was actually facing her, looking deep into her eyes, he realized that he had never really been angry, and he had never really blamed her.

"I got you in trouble, Gojyo. I didn't mean to, but I've been so unhappy with my life for so long, when I met you…it was strange. I felt something I haven't felt in a long time. I felt hope."

Gojyo thought about what Hakkai had said the day before, insinuating that Jiya might be looking for some kind of knight in shining armor in him. "Jiya, listen, I…"

"What?"

He couldn't tell her how he felt, because he didn't know for sure. He just knew it was a feeling he wasn't used to at all.

"Gojyo!" Hakkai sounded furious.

Immediately the half-blood turned to face him, not at all ready to see the look of rage on his friend's face.

"What do you think you're doing?" The youkai stormed up to him, scolding as he did so, "I thought we agreed that you were going to stay in one place while I looked for Sanzo? The next thing I know, I turn around and you've vanished into thin air! Is this your idea of a joke? The people in this town won't tolerate you at all, and yet you insist on wandering around by yourself, leaving me to-"

"Hey, Hakkai," Gojyo said quickly, pointing to Jiya and grinning, "look what I found."

Hakkai stopped his rant long enough to focus on the woman with Gojyo, and then the anger melted off his face, becoming shock, "J-Jiya? Is that really you? What in the world are you doing here?"

She smiled, "Hello Hakkai-San. Please don't be mad at Gojyo," she put her arm through the hybrid's, "he's been talking to me."

"Yes. I see. Well, still, that's no excuse for disappearing." Slowly Hakkai extended a carton of Hi-Lites to his friend, muttering, "you're lucky I'm giving these to you at all."

"Hell yeah!" Gojyo immediately took the carton and tore into it, opened a pack of the brand new cigarettes and put one in his mouth. He spent a moment fumbling with his lighter, but quickly had the cigarette lit and was inhaling deep breaths of smoke.

Hakkai could barely contain a chuckle, "I don't suppose it would hurt you at all to say thank-you."

"Thank-you!" Gojyo threw his arm around Hakkai's neck, "Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!"

"Now, now, let's not overdo it and ruin the moment. At any rate, I've found where Sanzo and Goku are staying. Jiya, do you have a room to stay in yet?"

"No, I only just got here."

"In that case, may I suggest that you accompany us?"

Jiya nodded and smiled, "All right, that sounds fine for now."

The three of them set off down the street, Hakkai leading them; Gojyo felt Jiya' touch his hand, a sense of longing in the gesture, and after a moment of thinking over why he shouldn't and coming up with nothing, he took her hand in his and held it.

Goku felt like he hadn't been this bored in months. For hours neither he nor Sanzo had said a word, mostly because the monk was busy reading his paper and smoking. Any time Goku even attempted to speak to him, he was answered with nothing more than a vague snort or a grunt. Hakkai and Gojyo hadn't shown up yet, which meant they were either going to be here really soon, or they weren't going to show up at all. To make it all even worse, Jeep was nowhere to be found, so Goku couldn't even play with him.

As a result, the young youkai had dragged a chair over to the single window in the room, and was straddling it backwards, leaning on the back of it, and watching out the window for any sign of the other two. Dinner was over already, and there was nothing left to do but wait. If they didn't come before morning Sanzo was leaving them behind. Although, Goku didn't think they'd get too far without Jeep.

The people walking below the window all looked nice enough. There were a lot of families in this town, mothers and fathers with broods of young children. Everyone seemed to be smiling and laughing, like they had no idea there was any kind of calamity causing the youkai to go crazy.

Goku thought about the man they'd seen earlier and the rumor he was spreading around about a half-blood traveling with humans. To him the rumor didn't seem like that big a deal, but he guessed that was because he knew Gojyo personally and was aware of his generally good personality. He was the last person who was going to go around randomly attacking humans. But none of the townspeople knew that, of course, so Goku knew they were going to be afraid of Gojyo, and they were going to reject him and look down on him, and maybe even try to chase him out of town. If it really was that creep Shen who had started this rumor, Goku worried that it was going to work out exactly the way it was supposed to.

"What's with that Shen guy anyway?" Goku asked suddenly, "What's he hate Gojyo so much for?"

"Gojyo was messing around with his woman, what did you expect?"

"Yeah, but Gojyo told me he didn't do nothin' with Jiya."

"Maybe that's what the damn kappa told you, but we all saw them that night. It obviously wasn't the truth."

"Still, just seems crazy t' me, chasin' us outta' town and startin' this rumor an' ev'ry thing. 'S not like Gojyo totally ran off with her or anything."

"It isn't my problem, Goku, and it's really not yours either. It's Gojyo's problem, and he can deal with it."

"Yeah." Goku sighed. "I know. D'ya' think they'll get here on time?"

"They'd better." Sanzo mumbled, and then returned his full attention to the paper.

Goku continued watching out the window, thinking about all the things that had been going wrong lately. He was tired of things going wrong, and, just once, he wished there could be a day when everything went the way it was supposed to go.

Outside the flow of traffic suddenly stopped. Everyone seemed to be staring at someone, or something. Goku leaned closer to the glass, eager to get a glimpse of whatever was making a scene. Maybe it was some huge cart of food, like a takoyaki stand or someone selling meat buns. His mouth watered at the thought. "Dammit, I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry."

Down in the streets a person came into view, walking slowly and sort of looking around, like he was nervous about something. Then he headed for the front door.

"It's Hakkai!" Goku shouted, jumping up and running out of the room, "Sanzo, Hakkai's here! He's coming in!"

Sanzo didn't open, and Goku doubted he would follow him, but that didn't matter. Finally Hakkai was here, and they could stop worrying.

He got down into the lobby just as Hakkai came in the door, Gojyo following him.

"Yay! You guys! You're here! Man, we were just getting' worried about ya'!"

"Hello Goku. Sorry to keep you both waiting, but it was a very long walk, and I'm afraid we kept getting hung up."

"Hey there, squirt," Gojyo ruffled Goku's hair, "how the hell are ya'?"

"Owe! Hey! Gojyo, cut it out!" Goku pushed him away.

"Oy! What kind of greeting is that?  
Goku just laughed. "So, did ya' have a safe trip?"  
"I'm not sure if it was safe," Hakkai chuckled, "but it certainly was interesting."

"Yeah? Did ya' run into that Shen guy?"

"We schooled him." Gojyo disposed of one cigarette and immediately started another.

"Great! So he's not gonna' be coming after ya' anymore?"

"Ah, perhaps 'schooled him' isn't the appropriate term. I believe it would be more accurate to say that he retreated, promising as he went, to return. Eventually."

"That's it? Man, Gojyo, you suck!"

"Hey, can it! There's a reason he retreated."

"That, however, is better attributed to me, don't you think?" Hakkai smiled.

Gojyo glared at his friend, "Maybe."

"So basically, ya' didn't do anything: Hakkai did."

"Hey, shut it, you little monkey! You weren't even there!"

"Please you two, it's been a long day, and I'd rather not listen to you bickering right now."

"What is _she_ doing here?" Sanzo demanded, coming up behind Goku.

For the first time, Goku noticed a girl standing just behind Hakkai so that she was almost out of sight. She was holding hands with Gojyo, and with her hair down and dressed in more casual clothing, it took Goku a moment to recognize her, "Jiya?!"

The girl flushed slightly, "Ah, hello again, Goku-San, Sanzo-San."

"It would seem that Jiya has left Shen," Hakkai explained, "and she's come here to book a room for the night. That's all right, isn't it, Sanzo?"

Goku felt his heart skip a beat. It wasn't unusual for Hakkai to ask Sanzo if something was all right, but this time the tone of his voice was so…sneering, not even he had missed it. It was heavy with sarcasm. Goku studied Hakkai hard, noticed for the first time the harsh look in his eyes, that same penetrating gaze, accompanied by the usual, harmless smile. It was a perfect combination of anger and calm.

He looked at Gojyo too. The kappa's mouth was grinning, but his eyes as well were dark and as hard as rubies. Goku glanced at Sanzo, just to make sure he wasn't the only one who wasn't angry. The priest looked slightly annoyed, but that wasn't out of the ordinary.

"Hn. I don't give a damn one way or another what she does, but you," Sanzo shoved a finger in Gojyo's face, "certainly aren't getting your own room tonight."

"And just what is that supposed to mean?" Gojyo demanded. The anger was more clear now, and Goku could hear it easily in his voice.

"You know what it means, Gojyo."

"I don't think you have any right to dictate how or where I spend my nights!"

"Maybe not, but you've already inconvenienced us enough by messing around with her, and you're not going to do it any more."

"For the last time, Jiya and I didn't do _anything_! It was all just a big misunderstanding! And if I were you, Sanzo, I wouldn't go pissing me off. While you were sleeping in a nice, warm bed last night, I was laying on the ground in the middle of the rain! So just shove it!"

"You're the one who chose to break off from the group, you good-for-nothing kappa!"

"Enough!" Hakkai shouted suddenly, making Goku jump in surprise. "Both of you, stop your arguing! I'm sick of it already. It's been a long day, and I'm tired, and all I want right now is to book a room and go to bed. We should be able to do that without the two of you bickering like a couple of children, shouldn't we?"

Hakkai's anger had the same effect on everyone that it had on Goku, and in a moment both Sanzo and Gojyo were quietly glaring at each other. The converted youkai smiled at them, but his eyes stayed hard, and then he walked up to the front desk, "Good evening, sir, I'd like to book a room for the night."

The innkeeper's eyes drifted over Hakkai's shoulder, and Goku saw him lock in on Gojyo, who was already grimacing, like he knew what was coming. "Of course sir, you can stay. But I hope that _thing_ isn't with you."

"Hmm? What thing, sir?"  
"Don't try to fool me; you brought that half-blood freak in here with you. I hope you weren't thinking of booking a room for it to."

Hakkai's smile didn't waver, "Did I say anything about booking a room for _him_? No. I don't believe I did."

"Hakkai?" Goku stared at his friend. Did this mean that the anger he was seeing in Gojyo and Hakkai's faces was directed at each other?

"I only want to book one room, sir, now can you arrange that or not?"

The innkeeper kept glaring at Gojyo for a moment, and then nodded, producing the paperwork he needed Hakkai to fill out. He spoke to Gojyo, "As for you—outta' here. Now. And I don't want to see your sickening face in my place again. Do you understand?"

"So much for good old fashioned hospitality." Gojyo sighed.

Goku looked at him, not believing he was just going to leave without a fight. "Hey!" He yelled at the innkeeper, "Ya' can't just kick 'im outta' here! Where's he s'posed to go?"

"I don't know, kid, and frankly I don't care."

"But ya' can't-"

"It's all right, Goku," Gojyo punched him lightly in the arm as he went by, "I'll see ya' later."

"But Gojyo!"

"Goku," Hakkai said softly, "let it go. If this fine, _upstanding_ gentleman doesn't want that _freak_ in his inn he has every right to turn him away."

Goku stared at Hakkai, opening his mouth several times to say something but each time he tried nothing made sense, and he wound up not saying anything. So Hakkai finished booking the room, and then Jiya booked one as well, and the four of them went back upstairs.

"But what about Gojyo?" Goku demanded, "It's gonna' rain again tonight! Where's he going to go?"  
"He'll figure something out." Sanzo said, not sounding upset at all. "Anyway, Hakkai, you two made it here in one piece. Did you run into Shen?"

"Ah, yes, we did actually. He had quiet a few men with him."

"And the weapons we were told about?"  
"They were carrying something he'd referred to as a banishing gun. Apparently they're loaded with darts that are deadly to half-bloods, some sort of chemical warfare, it would seem; though they have no affect on us normal youkai. I was hit with one, but nothing happened. After that, they retreated."

Jiya gasped, "What? You…you're a youkai?"

Hakkai smiled at her, "Yes, and so is Goku."

When she directed her gaze towards Sanzo the monk just snorted, "Not me."  
"Yes, our Sanzo is fully human, I'm afraid."

"A human traveling with youkai…" that seemed to stun her, "I can't believe I didn't realize this before…especially with the way you handled the youkai that attacked my village."

"I suppose we're good at hiding it."

"You are. Very good. I'm sure Shen was surprised to find that out."

"Oh, he was. He didn't seem very happy."

Goku couldn't handle it anymore. The small talk was killing him, especially since it seemed like there were more important things to worry about, "Hakkai, what about Gojyo?"

Hakkai glanced at the young youkai, "What about him?"

"Ya' didn't even try t' help him! Ya' just let that guy chase him outta' here: an' ev'ryone outside knows what he is—so he's got nowhere else t' go!"

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about it if I were you, Goku," Hakkai unlocked his room with the provided key and went over to the window, throwing it open immediately, "I'm sure he'll be fine."

"How can ya' say that, Hakkai? How are ya' so sure?"

Hakkai didn't answer, and several moments of silence passed by, and then Gojyo came sliding through the window, lighting a cigarette as soon as he was in. He seemed to be smoking more than usual tonight.

"What the hell are you screaming about, kid? You didn't think we had a plan, did ya'?" He grinned that kappa smile of his.

"Hey! You guys had a plan an' ya' didn't tell me? That's cheap!"

"Well, if I may be so bold, Goku," Hakkai smiled at him, "we didn't have time to check in with you and make sure the plan had your approval. I'm afraid we've been playing things by ear all day."

"Yeah, I guess we sorta' have, haven't we?" Gojyo blew some smoke up toward the ceiling. "But damn, what is up with the people in this town?"

"Oh yeah! We saw a guy yesterday goin' around spreadin' rumors 'bout a hybrid comin' t' this town, didn't we, Sanzo? He was all scared an' wanted Sanzo t' kill ya'!"

The statement seemed to make Gojyo uneasy, and he looked nervously in Sanzo's direction.

"Fortunately for you, you waste of a sentient being, I didn't have time to indulge him."

"Hm. That certainly explains quite a bit," Hakkai exchanged glances with Gojyo, "doesn't it?"

"Yeah…but why would somebody do that?"

"Do you suppose it might have been one of Shen's men? They certainly would have apt reason to try to turn this town against you."

"Maybe…but if that was yesterday, he must have really hauled ass to get here before any of us and start spreading rumors."

"I doubt it was one of Shen's men," Sanzo replied, "although I don't doubt Shen is behind it somehow. The man we saw didn't know enough to have ever really seen you, so I assume he was just one of the townspeople who got excited over a rumor. We have no way of telling where the rumor actually started."

"Sanzo," Hakkai studied his hands for a moment, "if the rumor was spread here, how do we know that it isn't being spread in other towns as well? Think about it. This could spread for miles…"

There was an implication in that that even Goku got. "Wait! If that happened, we couldn't take 'im anywhere! Ev'rybody would be actin' like the guy downstairs!"

"Dammit, what a pain in the ass." Sanzo snorted. "And it didn't help at all for him to actually show up here, since it only confirmed the rumor people were hearing. At this rate, any travelers going the same way we are will take what they know to town after town, and as long as Gojyo keeps traipsing in a day or two later…we'll never get out of this cycle."

"Shit!" The cockroach sank onto the bed next to Goku, "That goddamn, fucking Shen! I should have killed him the moment I saw him! I shoulda' torn out his heart right there and then!"

"Please try not to fly off the handle," Hakkai said, "it will only make this worse. Sanzo, perhaps it would be best if we stayed away from the major villages for a while."

That didn't make Sanzo happy at all. "If we have to go taking strange, backcountry routes, we'll never get to India."

"I got an idea!" Goku jumped to his feet, grinning from ear to ear, "What if Gojyo wears a disguise when we're in town?"

Jiya smiled too, "That's not a bad idea."

"Shut your damn trap, you stupid ape," Gojyo scowled at Goku, "there's no way I'm gonna'-"

Hakkai silenced him by putting a hand on his arm and murmuring something so softly that Goku couldn't make it out. "It's not such a bad idea, Goku…but it's rather inconvenient, don't you think?"

"Why? I was just thinkin' he could put on a pair of sunglasses an' some hair dye. Sheesh, Gojyo, you're so annoying."

"Well, Goku, would you want to go around incognito everywhere you went?"

"In-cog-neat-oh? What's that mean?"

Hakkai sighed, "It means wearing a disguise all the time so no one would recognize you."

"Yeah! I think it'd be fun!"

"He doesn't get it." Gojyo grumbled.

"For a while it might be fun, I agree, but would you want to wear it for weeks, possibly months on end?

Goku thought about it again, "Naw, I guess not."

"Neither do I."

"Fine, fine, don't take my idea then." Goku stuck his tongue out at the kappa, and Gojyo kicked him. "OWE! Dammit, that hurt, you stupid, lazy cockroach!"

"Who're _you_ callin' lazy, your creepy, little monkey? I walked all day today, while you were eating and sleeping!"

"I didn't do any sleepin'! I've been thinkin' about _you_ all day! What took ya' so long anyway?"

"It took so long 'cause we had to _walk_ fifteen miles!"

"If you weren't such a lechy kappa none of this would be happening in the first place!"

Sanzo fired two rounds up into the air, "ENOUGH!"

Sticking his tongue out one last time at Gojyo, Goku slunk around to hide behind Hakkai, who was laughing half-heartedly. "Oh, this all reminds me; Sanzo, Goku, where's Jeep?"

"Jeep?" Sanzo barely even looked at the youkai, "I thought he was with you."

"With me? No. I distinctly remember letting you take him."

"Yeah, remember, Sanzo? We drove him for a while, but then it got too narrow. So he turned back into a dragon."

"What happened to him after that?" Hakkai pressed.

Goku swallowed hard and shrugged, "He was with us when we got t' th' inn last night…"

"Well, didn't you bring him up here, to your room?"

"Uh…I don't remember. I guess not…"

A dark look fell over Hakkai's face, dark enough to turn Goku's blood to cold soup, "You left him…outside?"

"Um…I-"

"You didn't feed him?"

"Well…Sanzo…?"

Sanzo didn't answer.

"I walked fifteen miles today…with an angry half-youkai, I slept in the rain, I woke up to a fight with a group of irrate humans, and when I finally get here you two have proven to be so incapable you've lost Jeep, our mode of _transportation._" Hakkai stood up still looking firmly set in his rage, "so now, even after my difficult, trying day, I must go out and look for him."

"Good luck." Sanzo muttered.

"And you two, since you lost him, will be accompanying me."

"Y-yessir." Goku said immediately. Regularly he might have tried to get out of it, but he felt guilty about letting Jeep get lost, and he was sort of worried about the little guy.

"And Sanzo?"

"Hakkai, I'm sure that he'll come back if we just-"

"Sanzo, each morning you're eager to begin the journey, so I would assume that as long as you're still in a hurry you would be willing to help look for Jeep. Unless you want to go the rest of the way by foot…"

Hissing a curse between his teeth, Sanzo crushed out his cigarette and got up to follow Hakkai and Goku.

"Have fun there, Sanzo-Sama." Gojyo waved from the bed, where he was sitting with his arm around Jiya.

"Shut up! And as for you," he grabbed Jiya by the arm, "there's no way you're staying here alone with him. No-freaking-way."

Jeep struggled, beating his wings harshly against the air and twisting his head back and forth, crying out in his shrill voice in hopes that someone would hear him. His master, hopefully, or any of the others. But all around him it was dark and quiet, filled with a saturating smell of mildew and dust. There was one, short, blaze of moonlight coming through a crack in the boarded up window, but Jeep had no idea where he was. Even if he could escape, he wasn't sure where to go. His captors had taken him miles from the town where Sanzo and Goku were staying.

He continued to struggle, but it was in vain. The man holding him was huge, and he had one large hand around Jeep's back feet, and the other closed tightly around his neck, just at the base of the skull, so that Jeep could neither fly away nor bite. He chirped furiously, but no one even laughed at him. He'd never been so helpless in his life.

Someone laughed, but not the jovial, teasing laughter Jeep was so used to hearing. This laughter was dark and cold and cruel, like the confinement around him. And these captors were nothing like his master or his friends. These men were older, bigger in most ways, and much, much crueler. Jeep had gotten used to the lighthearted antics of the youthful boys he was charged with transporting and protecting. He thought about Hakkai and wished for nothing more than to land on his shoulder or to curl up against his chest.

A face emerged in front of him: a man's face, with yellowish teeth, black eyes, and a stubby nose. He was grinning fiercely, his breath reeking, "So this is it, huh? The Jeep those punks have been using to get around? How does it work anyway?"

"I'm not sure, sir: you told me to steal it, not to find out how it works."

The look in the man's eyes was so cold, Jeep thought that he was going to strike his own comrade, but instead he just snarled, "Shut up, you ungrateful bastard. And take that thing out of my sight. If it tries to escape, kill it."

The man holding Jeep sighed, "Shen, tell me again why we're doing this? What does this rodent have to do with the half-blood?"

"Oh use your head. Those kids use this thing to get around in. They got quite a ways ahead of us yesterday, and they almost threw us off by splitting up. But if we take away their jeep we take away their advantage, and that way it'll be much easier to keep up with them, and that'll give us plenty of space to finish off the freak."

"I see." The younger man said. But he sounded bored.

"Now, for the last time, do as I say, and take him out of my sight."

"Yes sir."

Jeep got a vague sensation of movement, and he thrashed all the harder, crying out as loudly as he could, regardless of how futile it seemed.

And then, even the bleak stream of moonlight was gone, and he was totally surrounded by blackness.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight: Rescue

Chapter Eight: Rescue

"Would you quit pacing? It won't bring him back, you know."

Hakkai hesitated and looked at Gojyo for a moment, "I simply can't understand it…where would Jeep disappear too?"

Gojyo lifted a cigarette to his lips; his first pack was almost gone already, his body still making up for the nicotine withdrawals, "I don't know, man, did you guys look everywhere?"

"Yes, we've been all over this town, every inch of it, and still no one's seen any trace of him. It makes me uneasy…"

"Uneasy. You think somebody took him?"

Hakkai shuddered, "I hate to think of that; after all, these past few days have already been so sinister, I hate to think of who would want to take him."

"So you think Shen could be behind it?"

"Perhaps…he certainly would have apt enough reasons for wanting to slow us down."

"We oughta' have a show down: me and him, high noon or something. That'd take care of all this."

"Oh, come on, he'd shoot you."

Gojyo glared at him, "You know, you haven't been yourself lately. The Hakkai I know would laugh and throw some subtle insult."

"I know," Hakkai stood by the window, looking out as it drizzled, "but it seems that ever since I let you fall over the edge of that ravine…things have been completely out of our control. Don't you feel that?"

"First of all," Gojyo flicked ashes into his tray, "you didn't _let_ me fall, it just happened. And I don't really think we're out of control here, I think we're just sort of…having a bad week."

Hakkai sighed, "Helplessness is, without a doubt, the worst feeling in existence. I would much rather feel anger or fear or sorrow than to feel helpless."

"Yeah," the hybrid said quietly, "yeah, me too." Then he stood up suddenly and went to put a hand on Hakkai's shoulder, "Listen man, it's been a rough coupla' days for you."

"You too, Gojyo."

"Fair enough. My point is that maybe you should just go to bed and relax. Seriously, we slept on the ground, in the rain last night. It's three o'clock in the morning, we've gotta' get up in four hours. Might as well get as much sleep as you can."

"If we don't find Jeep by morning we'll be walking; I've spoken to Sanzo, and he won't stay another day in this town. To tell the truth, I don't particularly want to. But…I hate to think of leaving Jeep behind."

"We'll find him. This is all gonna' get resolved eventually, and when it does, we'll get Jeep back. It's just a matter of time."

"Oh, I think it's more than that." Hakkai looked at his friend seriously, "After all, you must realize by now, Gojyo, Shen is not going to give this up so easily-especially not now that Jiya is…with us-in fact, I fear that in order for this to end, someone has to die. It's a matter of life and death."

Gojyo shoved him towards the bed, and Hakkai sat down heavily, "Just go the hell to sleep, Hakkai, and quit your worrying. Since when is anything that simple?"

Sanzo held the fan tightly in his right hand and a cigarette in the left, watching Goku and Gojyo bicker over food as usual. He felt all too ready to hit them, and at the same time, he didn't feel like he had the energy. He'd spent all night looking for Jeep-they all had-and now it was early and there was a long walk ahead of them. Sanzo refused to waste even one more day in this town. This place made him far too uneasy to stay here longer than was needed. His comrades all agreed on that at least, even Hakkai, so they were leaving today, with or without Jeep.

Hakkai came in shaking his head and murmuring to himself.

Gojyo looked up at him, "Oy! Any luck?"

"No, I'm afraid not. Sanzo, it appears we're on foot."

"Fan-freakin'-tastic." Sanzo muttered, smashing his cigarette, "In that case, we'd better get moving. You two, move it!"

Goku shoved a whole meat bun in his mouth and then grabbed one in each hand and started to rush around the room, hurrying to get dressed.

"Wait just a damn minute," Gojyo snapped, "Hakkai hasn't eaten breakfast yet. You want him to walk all day when-"

"It's all right, I don't know that I'm particularly hungry anyway. I simply want to get as far from this town as soon as I can."

"Hakkai-"

"Hey," Goku said as soon as the bun in his mouth was gone, "we're not going int' th' next town, 'cause of Gojyo, right?"

Sanzo rose and began to pack what little he had, "We'll be lucky if we even make it to the next town today, Goku, but no, in any case, we're not."

"We don't have to do that for me," Gojyo leaned against the door, "I can handle it."

"Shut up and go get your shit together."

"Indeed Gojyo," Hakkai smiled faintly, "such nobility doesn't suit you at all."

Gojyo snorted and started to say something, but just then there was a knock at the door and the kappa had to move out of the way.

"It's me," Jiya's voice called, "can I come in?"

"It's open." Gojyo said automatically. Sanzo glared at him, but the kappa ignored him.

A moment later, the woman opened the door and smiled at them. Her hair was damp from showering and her skin was glowing, "Good morning everyone, sorry to bother you."

"Not at all." Hakkai laughed.

Sanzo didn't feel as flippant. As far as he was concerned, the blame for what was happening-what little of it that couldn't be assigned to Gojyo-belonged to Jiya, "What do you want?"

"Um, actually, Sanzo-san, I was hoping I could ask a favor of you."

"Better make it quick, we're moving out."

"Yes, it's about that, actually. You see…I was really hoping that you would let me go with you guys.

"What?" Goku squawked, "Ya' wanna' travel with us?"

"Well, not for very long. I'd really like to get to a different town, a good distance from my old one, to start a new life, but I'm afraid to travel alone. I thought that since you four are going west, I could go with you for a little ways, just until I'm safe from Shen."

"Jiya," Hakkai began, but Sanzo cut him off. He didn't want anyone to say yes before he got the chance to say no.

"Absolutely not."

The other three stared at him.

"W-why not?" Goku looked from Sanzo back to Jiya. "What's wrong with lettin' her come too?"

"She's been enough trouble already, and the last thing we need is a tag-along that's going to be attracting problems the whole way. Jiya, do you honestly think that Shen is done looking for you? If I were you, I'd stay here, in this town, for a few days before moving on."

"Oh, c'mon, Sanzo," Gojyo shouted, "that's low, even for you!"

"You are the last person who should have a say in this, you dirty-minded kappa. So shut up."

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Sanzo on this, Jiya," Hakkai said, startling everyone, including Sanzo, "it simply isn't safe for you to travel with us right now."

"But Hakkai! What's she s'posed t' do? She can't travel by herself—she's a girl!"

"We're not the only people traveling west," Sanzo finished putting his belongings into his rucksack, "she can find someone else and go with them."

"But Sanzo-"

"No, it's all right, Goku," Jiya said quietly, "I understand. Sanzo's right, I would only be more trouble for you guys." She bowed slightly, "Sorry to have troubled you, Master Sanzo."

"Hn."

"Wait, Jiya," Gojyo reached for her.

She just smiled, "It's for the best, I think, if we never see each other again."

Sanzo watched the kappa's face, seeing an odd mix of surprise and pain there, like he couldn't believe or accept what he was hearing. He took a sharp breath, opened his mouth like he meant to speak, but said nothing. He simply watched Jiya leave. The monk stared at him for several minutes, trying to put his finger on what he'd just witnessed. Gojyo certainly fooled around enough, and he never seemed to have a hard time with letting the women go when he was done with them. He was out for sex, and nothing more. Then why? Why was he acting so…attached?

Gojyo turned and caught Sanzo looking at him, glared, "What?"

"Hn. You're terribly desperate these days, aren't you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Sanzo didn't answer, "Let's just go." He didn't answer, because he wasn't sure he knew.

The four of them headed out of town directly, and since it was still early morning there were very few people out. No one gave them any trouble. The sun was rising at their backs, casting bright, yellow light over the road. Their steps were heavy and steady as they walked unwavering along the road. For a while they were quiet. Sanzo assumed Hakkai was upset about Jeep, and Goku and Gojyo were likely brooding over the decision to leave Jiya behind. Sanzo didn't care. He had his own problems to deal with. Even though Shen was just a human, he was proving to be a somewhat frustrating opposition. Apparently he was determined to punish Gojyo for whatever he thought the kappa had done, and rightly so, but if he had really stolen Jeep that wasn't an act against the kappa alone, that was a hit against the whole team, and a big hit. They were going to lose days, possibly weeks, if they had to walk the whole way, and there was no guarantee that they would ever get their car back at all. They were over half-way to their destination, and they'd been traveling for over a year; even with Jeep this trip was taking a maddeningly long time. Without Jeep…

India seemed a lifetime away.

As they neared noon, Goku began to chant about being hungry, so the four of them stopped by the side of the road and Hakkai got out the pack of provisions and began to dole out food for all. "At least we have plenty of supplies." He said, but his voice lacked the usual cheer. This had all been hard on him. It was just last month when he'd lost all his memories thanks to Ikku, and now there was a whack-job hunting his best friend, all on top of the fact that his Jeep had apparently been stolen. Sanzo could almost feel sympathetic towards Hakkai, but he felt much more justified in blaming someone than trying to pass out condolences. Involuntarily, he glared at Gojyo.

The kappa scowled back at him, "What?"

"Your girlfriend really wanted to come with us, didn't she?" Sanzo allowed a cruel smile to slide across his lips.

"She's not my girlfriend. And can you blame her? She's finally got her chance to get away from that asshole—why wouldn't she take it?"

"Speaking of Shen," Hakkai finished serving the others and began to eat his own portion, "do you suppose he's given up on following us? I haven't seen any sign of him today."

"I doubt it," Gojyo looked both ways down the road, "I mean, aren't you the one who said he's not going to go away until one of us is dead?"

"If that's the only way to get rid of him," Sanzo lit a cigarette, "let's just tie you to a tree and get this over with."

Gojyo smiled sharply, "I'd almost say that's better than going the rest of the way to India with you, you cranky-ass monk."

"Gime' seconds," Goku shoved his empty plate at Hakkai.

The youkai looked annoyed, but he smiled and lathered some more canned food on Goku's plate. "The best thing for us to do is to all keep moving. After all, he can't follow us all the way to India."

"An' what about Jeep? D'ya' guys think we'll ever see 'im again?"

"I'm not sure, Goku, but one can only hope that, wherever he is, he's safe."

"I wish we had more time t' look for 'im."

"So do I."

"Well, I'll tell you guys one thing," Gojyo stood up, stretching, "if that asshole's behind this we'll get Jeep back next time I see him. I went easy on him last time, 'cause he's just a human, but next time I'm killin' the bastard on the spot."

"Don't get cocky," Sanzo stood up as well, "you never know what might happen." Gojyo pretended not to have heard, but Sanzo knew that he had. He hadn't seen Gojyo this advent to kill anyone for a while. Normally the hybrid went through the motions of killing assassins and fighting enemies like it was a game, but now he seemed driven by blood lust. Sanzo didn't know why, but that really bothered him for some reason.

The four of them finished eating, and then they were on their way again. The food seemed to improve Goku's mood at least, and the boy chatted with Gojyo for several minutes before their casual conversation turned to the usual bickering. Sanzo didn't bother to let the argument progress for too long. When they'd been shouting at each other for a few minutes, he fired a bullet right between them, which commanded nearly immediate silence, followed by some lowly muttered cursing from Gojyo.

The day seemed longer than usual, the hours stretching and seeming to become days themselves, the sun rising higher and higher, and then sinking little by little, making their shadows longer, and then short, and then long again. Sanzo felt the heat of the day beating on him, and sweat dribbled down his face and neck. His feet started feeling heavy, and it didn't help at all to see Goku running at the head of the group like the trip had only just started. On all sides of them were grasslands, green and lush, with very few trees. Here and there they saw farm houses, or farmers. They crossed a huge stretching area of rice fields where people were wading through water, harvesting rice. Several of them hesitated to wave, bust most of them simply ignored the travelers.

When evening was setting in, Sanzo decided to take a break. They went to the side of the road again where a young woman was helping her father and mother harvest rice just a few hundred yards out.

"Excuse me!" Hakkai called, "Sorry to bother you, but how far is it to the next village?"

The family looked at each other for a moment, and then the young woman waded closer and asked him to repeat himself. When the question had been asked for the second time she said, "It's a three-day walk from the last town to the next!"

"Three days? Shit!" Gojyo flopped down in the grass.

"But I'm hungry!" Goku whined, "An' I don't wanna' sleep on the ground t'night!"

"Quit your bitching." Sanzo ordered, but he didn't feel happy about the news either.

"No kidding, monkey, you've slept in a nice, soft bed for the last three days. It's about time you slept on the ground. I'm the one who gets screwed. I slept on the ground night before last, _and_ had had to sleep on the floor last night."

The girl had waded closer and was giggling now, "There is a house a few miles from here. You'll probably reach it by tomorrow night if you keep walking."

"A house you say?" Hakkai looked at her again, "Who lives there?"

"An old widow. She's very kind about taking in strangers."

"Is she? Hm. That's very generous of her—thank-you, Miss."

The girl blushed and nodded, "Uh-huh, sure." With one last, shy smile at Hakkai, she turned to go back to her parents.

Gojyo stood up and slung his arm around Hakkai's neck, "Hey, look at that 'Kai, that chick _digs_ you."

"Hm? Gojyo, please, this is no time for joking."

"No, I'm serious, did you see the way she looked at you? Goku, you saw it too, didn't you?"

"Uh-huh! She was totally flirtin' with ya', Hakkai!"

"Damn straight she was."

"Oh. Do you really think so?"

"C'mon, I'm the lady expert, remember? I know when a girl's hot for someone."

"Need I remind you that the last time you played expert with a woman you got us into this situation?" Sanzo snorted, lighting a cigarette, "Idiot."

"Hey! You shut the hell up, Sanzo! And for the last time, there's nothing going on between me and Jiya!"

"Every time you say it, it's the last time, and still I get the feeling that it's not true."

Gojyo shut his mouth and glared at Sanzo, but didn't make any effort to verbally defend himself. Something about the look on his face made Sanzo think that maybe he'd hit a nerve of some kind, that maybe Gojyo was trying more to convince himself than he was his friends.

Not like it was his problem.

"We've rested long enough," Sanzo nudged Goku with his foot, "we've got to keep moving."

Night set in slowly, the sun drifting down to the horizon just as the four of them arrived at the mouth of a dark forest. The trees were tall and craggy, the branches half-dead, reaching like human hands, and when the wind whistled through them it almost sounded like a voice, crying Sanzo's name. The Priest tried to conceal a shiver and reached into his robe to touch the cold, reassuring steel of his gun.

As they went along, the wind picked up, tousling Sanzo's hair and whipping his robes around, and with every step they took, he became more and more sure that someone was watching them. He heard footsteps in the brush and thought he heard heavy breathing. His nervousness increased, and it didn't help when the wind blew out his lighter before he could light a cigarette.

Gojyo stopped suddenly and Sanzo nearly ran into him. "Oy, kappa, what the hell are you stopping for?"

The kappa was staring off into the woods, his long, red hair blowing in tendrils around his face, cigarette smoke flowing from the short stub that he had left in his mouth, "I thought I heard a scream."

"You're delusional." Sanzo grumbled, pushing past him.

"No, I heard it too." Goku whispered, standing beside Gojyo, "it sounded like it came from in there."

"It was probably just an animal: there's no one else out here. Now keep moving or we'll leave you behind."

Gojyo broke off immediately, running straight into the darkest part of the trees without saying a word.

"Gojyo!" Hakkai tried to call him back.

"Kappa, you'd better get your good-for-nothing, cockroach ass back here; I'm not joking about leaving you!"

Goku turned around to look at Sanzo, and they locked gazes for a moment.

Sanzo shook his head, "Don't you dare-"

With that, the boy ran after his friend, moving quickly and silently through the woods, summoning nyoi-bo as he went.

"Goku! Forget him!"

"Goku, come back!"

When it was clear that neither of them were coming back, Sanzo and Hakkai stood shoulder to shoulder, watching and listening.

"Dammit."

"Sanzo," Hakkai looked at the Priest slowly, "please excuse me."

With that, he was gone too, and Sanzo was left standing alone in the middle of the road, feeling nervous and angry toward his companions. "Dammit." He muttered again, and then ran after them.

The woods were deep and dark, and they seemed damp. Everywhere he went, Sanzo was tripping over tree roots or slipping on moss; the branches reached out and grabbed at his robes, tearing several good-sized rips in them. They whipped across his face, cutting his cheek and drawing blood. A piercing cry rang through the forest, high and feminine. It made his blood ran cold to hear laughter just up ahead, and then the terrified shouting of male voice.

Sanzo was breathing hard by now, worn out from running, but he pushed himself forward and broke through the trees into a clearing that was full of youkai. Their energy was dark and sickly-sweet in the air. One youkai in particular caught his eye, a tall male with short, black hair; he was restraining Jiya with one hand, the claws of the other resting lightly against her throat. A circle had formed around him-Sanzo counted eight youkai total-and he was laughing unrestrainedly. Goku and Hakkai had fallen back a little, standing just behind Gojyo; the hybrid was in the process of summoning his Shakujou.

"I should have known it was something like this." The priest muttered, going to stand beside Hakkai.

The youkai that had Jiya laughed when he saw him, "Well, if it isn't the famous Priest Genjyo Sanzo. Hand over the Sutra, and I'll let the girl live."

"This again? What makes you think I care whether or not she lives or dies."

The look on Jiya's face solidified into horror, "B-but-"

"She got herself into that mess, so she can get herself out. Isn't that right, Gojyo?"

The Kappa barely twitched; the crescent shape blade flew immediately, soaring over Sanzo's head, just missing taking off a lock of golden hair. It sliced through five different youkai, all in one clean sweep, decapitating them and severing them. Some lost limbs, some were cut in half from the waist down. A great wail of pain filled the clearing and the hot, acrid smell of blood fouled the air.

"Let her go," Gojyo warned, his voice black as the night.

The youkai looked considerably shaken, but he didn't move, "If you come one step closer, I'll kill her."

"I don't have to move to kill you!" Gojyo swung his arm in a wide arch, aiming expertly with his weapon. The blade sparkled again through the night, gliding right past Jiya's face and cutting the youkai's head in half. In another instant, he had finished off the remaining two.

Jiya hit the ground hard, sobbing and babbling, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she said over and over, "please forgive me. I didn't mean to put you in danger."

Gojyo knelt beside her, the weapon gone, ran a hand down her back as he wrapped her in a tight embrace, "Hey, ease up there, it's all right. You're fine."

Hakkai stood over them, "What in the world are you doing out here? You would have been killed if we hadn't arrived when we did."

"It was a stupid move," Sanzo added, "you're just making yourself into an even bigger pain in the ass."

"I'm sorry," she sobbed again, voice muffled against Gojyo's chest, "it's just that when you told me not to go with you I got scared…I thought Shen would find me…I panicked and followed you." She looked up pleadingly at Sanzo, "Please don't be angry, Sanzo-san! I just didn't want to be alone!"

Gojyo had the audacity to glare up at the Priest, "So in a way this is your fault."

"What kind of bullshit are you spouting, Gojyo? How is this my fault? If it's anyone's fault, it's yours."

"You're the one who told her she couldn't come!"

"How was I supposed to know she would follow us?"

"I guess you just don't know very much about women." Gojyo grinned, his white teeth gleaming in the moonlight.

"I don't care to know. We've wasted enough time here: let's keep moving."

"Wait," Jiya cried, "you can't just leave me here! What if there are more?"

"If you didn't want to be attacked by youkai you shouldn't have come out here. It's not my problem what happens to you now."

"Come on, man," Gojyo got up, taking the woman's hand in his own, "don't be like that."

"We can't leave her here," Goku said immediately, "that wouldn't be cool!"

"Don't be a prick, Sanzo, even _you_ aren't that heartless."

"Hn. Fine. Bring her if you want." Sanzo turned to glare at the kappa, "but from now on she's _your_ responsibility. Got it?"

"I got it, I got it." Gojyo began to pull Jiya along through the trees, avoiding a glare from Hakkai as he did so. "C'mon, gorgeous, let's get going."

Sanzo watched as they got ahead, that familiar feeling he'd had so often lately was growing as he noticed how their hands were intertwined. He snorted to himself, and then followed.

This definitely wasn't good.

"Thanks again."

Gojyo looked up at Jiya. She was standing over him, wrapped in a blanket, the look of fear finally gone from her face, even thought youkai attack had been hours ago. Now the group was huddled around a fire in the middle of the woods, and the darkness was blocking out the moon. The orange light of the flames threw a soft glow on Jiya's face.

"Hey, no problem, beautiful. Couldn't let those guys eat ya'."

Jiya managed a small smile; as she looked into his crimson eyes there was something that seemed gentle about him. Something sweet. She sank to the ground beside him, tucking her legs under her and wrapping the blanket tighter around her shoulders. For a moment she was quiet, just listening to the flow of his breathing. The smell of cigarettes was thick around him, accompanied by the faint scent of leather and musk. She liked the smell, it seemed familiar and real. Earthy.

"Gojyo-san, how long have you smoked?"

"Hnnn…long time. Since I was a kid."

"I'm guessing then, that you don't care very much that it's not good for you."

He chuckled slightly, "Naw, I'm not too worried about it."

The girl glanced around the campsite at Gojyo's companions; they were all sleeping now, sprawled around the fire, shallowly unconscious. "Your friends…they don't like me very much."

"That's not true." He said. "They're just…scared."

"Scared?" The comment startled her. Sanzo-san and the others were the last people she would have ever thought of as being afraid. "What do strong guys like you four have to be afraid of?"

"Let's just say we've been having a tough time lately."

"It's no wonder, with youkai attacking you all the time."

"It ain't the youkai we're scared of," he took another drag on the cigarette, and she couldn't help looking at his mouth. His lips looked so smooth and so soft. She called up the memory of kissing him beneath the stars and longed to touch his mouth. "I guess it's…more _each other_ that we're all scared of right now…"

Jiya felt confused, "So, has there been some kind of feud or something?" She surveyed the men again, trying to remember if there was any tell-tale sign of conflict. All day, as she'd followed them, they'd bickered off and on, but none of it seemed very serious.

"Naw. Nothin' like that." He took a deep breath and was quiet for a couple of minutes. She didn't rush him, didn't push or prod. In fact, Jiya didn't care if he never answered. She just wanted to be near him. At last he said, "Somethin' happened, about a month ago…something bad…we stopped in this little town, just a bit bigger than yours. There were some people there…well, it's sort of a long story."

Without thinking about it, Jiya stroked his forearm, feeling the warm, sinewy muscles beneath the skin, "Go on."

"Hakkai's got a nasty past: he did some things, a few years ago, and there are still some people who are pissed about it. They wanted to have revenge, you could say."

"Did they try to kill him?" She looked at Hakkai, who was sleeping just a foot or two away from Gojyo; he looked sweet and innocent in his sleep, and something about him struck her as being very young.

"No, the opposite. They were gonna' kill _us_."

"I don't understand."

"It's complicated: they thought if they killed us…his "friends", that it would be more of a punishment than it would be if they went after him directly. They sorta'," he grinned to himself, "beat the shit out of me first, and then they tried to kill me. Hakkai got in the way." He was quiet for a long time, and she felt a vague shudder speed through him, his eyes ventured distantly over to his friend and he took the cigarette out of his mouth, "He died, right in front of me, _because_ of me. I wasn't strong enough to save him…"

Jiya stared at him, not sure how to handle the news. "But he's alive now, what are you talking about? Did you just think he was dead?"

"No. He really died. Some old woman-a witch I guess-brought him back, but he didn't have any memories from the last four years. He sorta' went crazy on us and started wandering around, looking for me. I didn't know he was alive…" Gojyo's voice drifted off and Jiya detected a slight tremor of sadness in it, "Obviously it all got resolved, but…it was tough. I mean, I've never been such a mess in my life as that week when I thought Hakkai was dead. It's hard now…being away from him."

She didn't really understand the attachment between them, but she respected it, and admired such a close bond. "You're very close, aren't you?"

"I guess so…it's weird, since we aren't alike at all. But Hakkai…he changed my life I guess. Anyway, the others saw what that whole thing did to me: I left them and went on this rampage, I guess you could say. They thought I'd gone berserk-as if. I don't even know if my kind can go berserk-but it was such a mess, and now all of us are just sort of edgy when something gets between us." She wasn't even sure what he was talking about anymore, it was all so disjointed and unfamiliar to her, but Jiya found that she couldn't stop listening.

Gojyo ground his cigarette in the dirt, "It's hard to explain, but the four of us are sort of stuck together. When you look at us, I guess we don't seem like we're very close, but really, this is probably the closest thing to a family that any of us have ever had. Even Sanzo feels that. So when something gets between us, when just one of us is in danger, all of us feel the effects of it. I guess they're all scared right now, because of this thing with Shen. They know that if something happens to me it's gonna' throw everything off again. It's the same for all of us. If something happened to Goku…Sanzo would be…"

Jiya waited for him to finish, looking at the blonde priest in the meantime, trying to imagine him showing genuine concern for anyone, but failing.

At last Gojyo said, "Maybe what we're all scared of is the bond that we have. It's strange. It protects us, and at the same time, it's our single, greatest problem. If we could all just walk away from each other it wouldn't matter what's going to happen or what's happened in the past. If I could just leave them to go and beat the shit out of Shen I would, but I know better. I know they couldn't make it without me. And they all know it too. So we're scared of each other. We're scared that one of us might be just selfish enough or crazy enough to fuck everything up."

The girl glanced at each of the men in turn, trying to comprehend what he had said, trying to understand being so closely bonded with anyone. She tried to see them, any of them, losing their cool over a team member. But already she had seen some affects of the fact that their pet dragon was gone. Even that loss was enough to cause a great impact, so it only stood to reason that if something happened to one of the four of them it would be a huge problem. Something about the idea behind that, the fact that these four guys were so determined to protect each other, was very touching to her.

Slowly, afraid of the action, afraid of rejection, Jiya leaned her head against the red-head's shoulder, "How beautiful."

Gojyo snorted, "It's a pain in the ass."

"Why do you think that?"

He shrugged, "I got too attached to someone before, and it totally fucked up my whole life. When that person was dead, I swore I'd never let that happen again. I swore I'd _never_ be willing to die for anyone, because I get what it feels like to be left behind. For a long time I lived by myself, not caring about anyone else. And then one night, I trip over this lunatic in the dark," he gestured to Hakkai with his foot, "and BAM, I'm back to square one. Too attached. Unwilling to let go. Afraid to let them down. It was easier being by myself, living how I wanted, going out at night to be with whoever I wanted, not having anyone there to tell me that I shouldn't. There was no one to worry about me, and no one for me to worry over."

"Sounds lonely." Jiya closed her eyes.

Gojyo was quiet for a long, long time, and then he said softly, "It was."

"But I know what you mean. When my parents and my brother died…it was really hard to cope. It's been really hard to let anyone get close since then. The fact that Lee had died right before they did didn't help either."

"This Lee guy, you really liked him, huh?"

"I did." Jiya tried to keep herself under control, tried to keep from letting him hear her voice break, "he was such a sweet, good man; he treated me better than anyone has. And he needed me. He'd gone his whole life being rejected by everyone: even his own parents. When I looked into his eyes I could see how broken and how lonely he was, and I wanted to fix that. I…I loved him. I really did. But when Shen killed him…it's like something died inside of me. And then my family… It sort of drove me away from love. I think that's part of why I haven't been able to trust Shen. I could never love someone who treats life so flippantly."

"Would you have married Lee? I mean…did you care how frowned upon that would be?"

"I don't see how it would be much more frowned upon than marrying a full youkai."

"Trust me, it's a lot different."

She wondered what he meant, but didn't ask. "It's hard, huh?"

"Being half-and-half? Depends. Most humans don't know what half-breeds look like, and a lot of youkai don't know either. Every now and then you run into someone like Shen. Someone who knows and who hates. Then it's a pain in the ass."

"What about _your_ parents? Lee's parents abandoned him when he was a baby. Were yours any better?"

Gojyo's voice was surprisingly cold when he spoke, "Naw. My mom and dad died when I was a baby; my step-mother was a youkai…she hated me."

Out of the corner of her eye she saw his hand reach up and touch his left cheek, "She tried to kill me. If it hadn't been for my half-brother she would have succeeded."

"How horrible."

"That was a long time ago. I don't think about it very much anymore. Like I said, I don't think of that as being my family."

Jiya didn't believe that. Not all of it anyway. At least, she didn't believe that he never thought about that part of his life. There were parts of life no one could forget. They were just too horrible. But she let it go and snuggled closer to him, "Gojyo-San, do you believe…in destiny?"

"Nuh-uh. Why?"

"Just…I've been thinking, ever since you came up to me on the road that day…if you hadn't fallen in the river, I doubt we would have met."

"It was just a coincidence."

"Yeah, but…it doesn't feel that way to me."

"I try not to dig too deep for stuff like that."

"Of course you do." She ran a finger over his chin, looking deep into his red eyes. They looked so much like the setting sun, warm and bright, like the slowly dying fire in the sky. His breath was hot and sweet. The urge to kiss him was stronger than it had ever been, and snuggled close to his soft body, she felt safe and feminine. Such a body, so toned, so muscular. She remembered wrapping up the wound in his side, days ago, how perfectly he was molded.

"What about…do you believe in…Love at first sight, Gojyo-San?"

He looked back at her directly, his voice husky and quiet, "No."

Jiya smiled gently, "I do." She leaned forward to press her mouth to his, kissing him tenderly, first on the lips, and then on the cheeks and chin. It took him a moment to react, and then his arms came around her, his fingers threaded through her hair, and he kissed her back with a smooth ferocity. His arms were so strong, his body so warm. She closed her eyes and let the sweet feeling inside her swell and overflow, pressed her hands back against shoulders, forcing him to lie back, and sat astride him, continuing to kiss his mouth, teasing his velvet tongue with her own. His soft hands ran up over her sides to her chest.

"You're beautiful," she whispered in his ear, "more beautiful than anyone I've ever seen."

"Don't own a mirror, huh?" he grinned that lopsided smile that she loved so much. To her mind, it was strange to care so deeply for someone she hadn't known very long, but in her heart of hearts it made total sense, and she never wanted to leave his side. She never wanted him to be away from her.

A cold wind whipped around them, and she curled up against him, pressing her lips to his throat, just below the ear, "I love you…Gojyo…"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine: Knight

Chapter Nine: Knight

In the morning, Gojyo felt a little better than he had in a while. It had been weeks since he'd gotten laid, so last night had been a considerable comfort. _Still got it._ He thought with satisfaction, as he watched Jiya moving through the camp, making breakfast.

And yet, something just didn't feel quite right to him. Some part of him felt…guilty, of all things, like he'd taken advantage of the girl, and he kept thinking about what she had said to him. It played over and over in his head, like the same old, sad song. _I love you…Gojyo…I love you…do you believe in destiny? Do you believe in love at first sight? You're beautiful. I love you. Do you believe in true love? Because I love you…_

Gojyo didn't. He kept reminding himself over and over that he didn't believe in any of those things. Love. True love. Love at first sight. What did any of it mean anyway? Love wasn't needed to get laid, he reminded himself again. It wasn't a necessity. He'd been with many women, over and over, and none of them had ever loved him. And he had never loved any of them. Maybe that was why. Maybe hearing someone say that they loved him and knowing that they meant it was making him guilty. Because he was out for sex. Sex and nothing else.

He couldn't forget about what Hakkai had said, about breaking hearts and women being different. Women were looking for love, he knew that. Their goal in life was to find a good man and settle down and get married. He wasn't the type for that. He wasn't the one they were all searching for. Why wasn't she in love with Hakkai? He'd be good for that. Hell, he wanted that, some day. Not Gojyo. Gojyo wanted no part of love. Jiya couldn't really love him. Not a slutty bastard, half-breed freak like him. She deserved better. He wanted sex, she wanted love…he couldn't give her that. He didn't want to. His heart was too small to be shared. Love sounded like a gruesome way to die.

But still, when Jiya looked up at him from where she was hunched over the breakfast fire, when she swept a dark strand of hair out of her flushed face and the sunlight hit her just right, making her eyes and skin glow, there was that strange flutter of panic deep inside of him, a poignant reminder that she was so much more than any woman he'd met before. There was something about her calm, gentle, giving spirit that had him captivated. He could see so much he'd never seen in any other woman: Jiya was so gentle, so tender and vulnerable, another silly woman looking for love, and needing protection. And at the same time, there was something about her that was strong and fierce, a fire in her eyes that was evidence of a fighter. She'd left her so-called fiancé, braved danger, all to live life the way she wanted too. She wasn't too afraid. And she wasn't too weak. She was the kind of woman who did what needed to be done, the kind that took risks. A gambler, like himself. All of those qualities, her strength, her gentleness and her beauty, was alluring to him, and he felt that he was caught in a powerful grip, unable to look away, wanting to learn more.

"If I may comment," Hakkai's voice broke him out of his thoughts, "what you're doing is very thoughtless."

"What? Checking out her ass?" Gojyo blew smoke in Hakkai's general direction to suggest how much he was irritated.

"I hope you don't really think I'm as big an idiot as you treat me, Gojyo. I saw you two together."

Gojyo looked up, shocked by the words, "What are you talking about?"

"Last night. You weren't that far away from me, you know. And you weren't that quiet either, so don't try to deny it. I saw."

"Perv."

"Perhaps you should have gone somewhere more private."

"Hakkai, what's your point?"

"Nothing. Just…" his friend looked at him meaningfully, "Gojyo, don't you think you've done enough damage?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Jiya left home to be with you. I told you before that she's wanting more from you than you're ready to give, and yet here you are, leading her on. Making her think that you're something you're not."

"I-"

"If you were going to treat her like this, I think it would have been better for you to have let those youkai kill her. Because what you're doing to her is much worse than someone tearing into her. You're tearing her heart out, slowly, and you don't even care."

Gojyo stood up suddenly and knocked Hakkai down with a sudden blow to the face. All activity in the camp stopped, and everyone stared.

"Hey!" Goku stood up, looking around like he thought there was an enemy somewhere.

"Shut up, Hakkai," Gojyo growled softly.

"Just admit it…you know exactly what you're doing Gojyo: you're fully aware of how you're hurting her."

"Shut up!"

"You don't care though. You're going to take advantage from her, take whatever you want from her, until there's nothing left to give."

Just like what Shen had said.

"Shut up! Is that really what you think of me? You really think I'm that big of an asshole?"

"I don't know what I think of you anymore, Gojyo. You keep catching me off-guard."

"Well _you_ keep throwing shit in my face!"

Hakkai got to his feet, ignoring the onlookers and got in Gojyo's face, hissing so that no one else could hear, "Just stop it, all right, or you're going to get hurt."

"Is that a threat, Hakkai?" Gojyo smiled brutally, thinking wistfully about burying his fist in the youkai's gut, but the satisfaction of that dream only lasted a minute.

Hakkai fisted his hand in Gojyo's shirtfront and their faces were just centimeters apart, "I would never dream of threatening you."

"Then get the hell off my case."

"I cannot allow you to do this, Gojyo, not when I can see the end-result so clearly."

Gojyo felt totally lost now. What end result was Hakkai talking about? Was he really that upset that he was leading Jiya on?

"Hakkai, make some Goddamn sense."

Hakkai scowled and shook his head, "Just be careful." He shoved the hybrid away, turned around and went back to where he had dumped his load of firewood.

The other three just stared at Gojyo, and he felt his face turning hot. Had they heard everything that had been said? Did they know what was going on? Did she?

"Geez," Goku plopped down by the fire again to watch Jiya cook, "I thought you guys were gonna' kiss or somethin'."

"Don't be sick, monkey." Gojyo snapped, popping his knuckles.

"Well what's up with ya' anyway? Why's Hakkai so pissy?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Goku, I'm not angry at all." The other youkai said calmly, "I simply can't keep quiet when I see him doing something so mindless."

Jiya giggled, "You four certainly are a funny group. You fight like brothers."

"Don't…" Sanzo begged, "please don't say that."

She smiled up at him, then turned her head, "Gojyo-kun, would you come here and help me, please?"

He felt his face turning red again as the others watched him pad over to her, squatted by the fire, hissing, "Y'know, you don't have to stick a san or a kun on the end of all our names. We really don't give a shit about manners."

"Fine. Gojyo then. Please hand me those bowls."

He sighed and reached over to grab the dishes she wanted. It upset him that Hakkai was angry over all of this. He'd had no idea Hakkai was awake last night. He wondered how much the youkai had heard. Did it really matter? It just wasn't right for him to be angry at Gojyo over this. Maybe Hakkai was right. Maybe things really were getting out of control.

Jiya ladled up some breakfast for each of them, and they ate hungrily around the fire, Goku going on about how good everything tasted as they ate, and then they packed everything up and set out on the road again.

"As soon as we get to the next town," Sanzo said to Jiya, "you're gone, all right? We can't go dragging you all over the countryside with us."

"All right. I understand." She smiled brightly and Gojyo thought he saw Sanzo's face soften slightly.

"Awe, Sanzo!" Goku protested, "Can't we keep her? She's a great cook! She could be like th' group wife or somethin'."

"NO. No, no and no." Sanzo said through his teeth.

Gojyo stretched his arms and locked his hands behind his head, "Besides…'Kai's already the group wife."

"I beg your pardon?" Hakkai gave Gojyo a piercingly dark look.

"Hey, c'mon, Hakkai, it's just a joke."

"Not a very good one; I'm afraid your brand of crude humor leaves something to be desired."

"Heh. Ya' got shut down." Goku chimed in cheerfully.

Gojyo lingered back a moment, watching as Hakkai got ahead. Was his friend _that_ mad? He didn't really understand: nothing Hakkai had said that morning had made very much sense to him. Gojyo wasn't purposely playing with Jiya's heart. What was the big deal?

He decided that it would have to be resolved, and quickly.

The hybrid hovered around Hakkai all day, looking for any opportunity to talk to him alone, but one of the others was always nearby. Sometimes it was Goku, trotting along beside him, chattering away like a chipmunk, asking all kinds of questions, or it was Jiya, randomly coming over to talk to him. She touched his arm a lot and had this perpetual smile. At least she seemed happy. Couldn't Hakkai see that?

Sanzo was the only one who left Gojyo alone really, but he did talk to Hakkai occasionally, mostly discussing routes and traveling options. Sometimes they discussed Jeep.

Maybe that was it. Maybe Hakkai was still upset about Jeep.

Finally, a little past noon, when the group had already had lunch, Hakkai stopped, and Gojyo stopped beside him, "What's up?"

"I believe I hear water, Sanzo."

"Hunh. Are we out?"  
"We will be soon, I think. Gojyo, take the canteens and fill them, please."

"Me. Always me."

Not commenting, Hakkai shoved the canteens at him.

"Fine. I'll go, but you're going too."

"Hm? Well, I-"

Gojyo didn't do him the courtesy of hearing him out, but grabbed his wrist and began to drag him in the direction of the sound of running water. There was a bubbling stream a few hundred yards back inside the tree line, and the sun was bright and yellow there, the grass lush and green; birds twittered and sang, fluttering through the trees happily.

Gojyo crouched by the stream, cupping a handful of the water to make sure it was suitable for drinking. When he was sure that it was clean, he filled the first canteen, "Hey, Hakkai, look…"

"What is it?" The youkai was several feet away, leaning against a tree, not even bothering to help fill the canteens.

"I know you're pissed, all right, about Jeep and whatever else, but…I just wanted to…I mean…I'm sorry," he sighed, "all right. I'm sorry for pissing you off."

"I said it before," Hakkai said after a moment, coming to stand beside the half-breed, "I'm not angry, Gojyo. I don't know why you think I am?"

"This morning-"

"I am _annoyed _with you though. I think your behavior has been extraordinarily thoughtless these past few days, and the best I can tell, it's all been over a woman, a woman whose heart you seem to be set on breaking."

"This is what I don't get." Gojyo set the first, full canteen aside and popped open the next, "What does that have to do with you? If I do break her heart, if I don't break her heart, it's really not…"

"My business?" Hakkai demanded fiercely, "You think it's not my business? Of course you do. You always think that way. But it _is_ my business, Gojyo, as long as you're involved, it always will be."

"What, are you jealous or something? It's not like she's going to get between us or something."

"That is certainly not the case; I'm not jealous of her in any way. I have no reason to be."

"Well then, what the hell is the problem, Hakkai? I'm getting tired of guessing wrong." Gojyo finished the second canteen and moved on to the third.

His friend was quiet for so long, Gojyo finally looked up at him, ready to make a crass comment, until he saw Hakkai's face; it was drawn in what could almost be described as a wince, and his eyes were tight with the same painful look.

"Hey…Hakkai, you okay?"

"You were right." The youkai muttered after a few seconds had passed, "Last night, what you said…I'm afraid it was perfectly correct. We are all afraid, aren't we? Each one of us is scared. What happened to me has never happened to us ever before. But you were right. As soon as one of us was destroyed the rest fell a part. I honestly didn't realize we had that much power over one another, but it appears that we do. If you were to die where would that leave me? If Goku were to die Sanzo would be destroyed. Just like the night when he was attacked. Sanzo didn't even know what to do, he merely reacted on instinct and emotion. Each of us…we're threaded together so tightly, and we are all so fragile in these matters…it _is_ easy to be afraid when something separates one of us from the rest."

"So," Gojyo tried to wade through that, "are you saying you're upset because Jiya's coming between us or something?"

"No," Hakkai shook his head.

"Is it Shen, then?"

"Why don't you stop asking questions and allow me to explain?"

"All right fine, but could ya' hurry it up? I don't like this suspense shit."

Hakkai looked Gojyo square in the face, his eyes bright with something very close to panic, "Gojyo, you and Jiya-"

Something sharp and sleek sped right between their faces, almost clipping Gojyo's nose, and lodged in a tree. It was a small, pinkish dart.

"Fuck!" Gojyo jumped back immediately, dropping the last canteen in the stream and summoning his shakujou. He turned to face Shen, who was standing on the other side of the stream, with five other humans.

Another dart was fired, and then another, and Gojyo barely managed to dodge.

"Let's hear it, kid! Where the hell is she?"

"This again? Fuck you asshole!"

Gojyo swung his staff, letting the chain fly, but his aim was off a little and he barely managed to graze the shoulder of the man on the far right.

"You're dead unless you tell me!" Shen screamed, beginning to come across the river, gun leveled on the hybrid's face.

"She's not _here_ ass face!"

"What the hell are you thinking? Why do you have to be so difficult? Do you know how painful it will be if I hit you with one of these?"

"Do you know how painful it will be if I cut off a leg or an arm?"

"Filthy mongrel. You'd like that, wouldn't you?" He was standing just a few feet away now, his arm outstretched so that the barrel of the gun seemed like it was just a few inches from Gojyo's face. "I'm not going to miss from here, you know."

"Gojyo," Hakkai murmured, "perhaps we should-"

"Go ahead and shoot me then, asshole! You shoot me and my youkai friend here'll _rip _you to pieces. Then you'll _never _know where she is!"

"I take it," Shen smiled coldly, "that you'd like to die then? And that's understandable. A worthless animal like yourself has no reason to live."

"Look who's talking, you filthy murderer."

"Gojyo! Just tell him where she is!" Hakkai nudged him with his elbow.

The hybrid only got a glimpse of his friend's face, but he could still pick up on the panic and the fear that was there.

It was hard to argue with a face like that, even though he really wanted to. As much as he wanted to protect Jiya, he couldn't put her before Hakkai. Gojyo sighed and lowered his weapon slightly, "Fine, Shen, fine. You win. Jiya is-"

"Gojyo! Hakkai?" A bright, female voice came ringing through the woods. "Where are you? Mister Sanzo says that he's going to leave if you don't hurry!"

Jiya stumbled into the clearing right behind them, smiling cheerfully, but the smile vanished when she saw what was happening. "Shen…?"  
"Jiya, get out of here!" Gojyo shouted at her, turning away from Shen without thinking about it.

"Gojyo!" Hakkai jumped at him.

Jiya's face contorted in terror, "Please don't!"

Gojyo heard the gun trigger snap and heard the sudden pop of the ammunition being projected from the barrel of the gun.

He spun around, but the gun wasn't aimed for him. Shen had it pointed right at Jiya's neck.

"Shit!"

The dart seemed to be moving in slow motion, creeping across the distance at a snail's pace. "Shit!" Gojyo screamed again, fainting backward, screaming for her to get down. He hit her full force, knocking her to the ground, and turned to face Shen again, directing his weapon towards the man's head. But it was too late.

Instantly, everything sped up. The dart hit Gojyo in the neck, just above the collar bone. He screamed in pain and dropped his weapon, clawing at the spot. The poison was hot in his veins, spreading quickly through his limbs and torso. The Shakujou blade spun wildly out of control, missing its mark and severing Shen's left hand at the wrist. Blood spurted everywhere and the human cried out in a terrible voice.

"Gojyo!" Hakkai dove after his friend just in time to catch him. Gojyo sank into his arms unwillingly, his hand still clutching feebly at the dart, his head resting powerlessly against the youkai's shoulder, mouth gasping wordlessly, gaping from the pain. His eyes rolled back in his head as he screamed again. The pain he felt was something unreal, like there was fire going through his veins. As if his body was full of boiling water rather than blood.

He heard voices beyond the line of trees. Goku's voice, and then Sanzo's. He heard the humans across the stream, fleeing. He heard Shen screaming, but he didn't even have time to feel cocky about that. He knew he was dying. Jiya was shrieking his name over and over as she fell down beside Hakkai, running her hands over him.

"Don't touch him!" Hakkai snarled, turning as if to shield his friend from her.

Gojyo wanted to laugh. The situation was so stupid. So stupid. Like a bad joke. A bad, funny joke that he wanted to laugh and cry at all at once.

"You idiot!" Hakkai shouted loudly. "You stupid idiot!" But Gojyo didn't understand what he meant. What had happened? Who was he screaming at so insistently? Who was the idiot here?

Vaguely he understood that Hakkai was referring to him. That just made it all the funnier.

His brain began to shut down, his body got cold, and his lungs stopped working so that he couldn't scream any more. He felt his heart rate slowing and his vision started to get dim. What was he dying over? He couldn't quite remember. But he knew it had been important. It must have been.

Oh well. Whatever. Now he could just go to sleep and forget about all of those important things.

He smiled faintly up into Hakkai's face, not completely unaware of the horror that he saw there.

Hakkai started speaking, but Gojyo couldn't hear him. But he read his lips…'no…don't go…'

It was too late though. The journey had already started.

Just before Gojyo closed his eyes, he saw a golden-haired angel standing over him, with eyes like purple fire.

He couldn't tell if it was God or the devil.

"What the hell happened?" Sanzo demanded, but he seemed far away, and Hakkai was busy, shaking Gojyo and yelling at him.

"Don't go! Don't you dare leave me now!"

The panic in him was terrifying, fluctuating through his every limb, making him tremble. His hand was shaking so violently, he could hardly clutch the dart, but he managed to rip it out of Gojyo's jugular. "No…no…no…don't…you can't." Blood began to ebb from the spot, the same bright color as his friend's hair. "You idiot…you damn idiot."

He pressed a hand to the wound, wondering if he should heal it.

"Hakkai!" Sanzo shouted, "What the hell happened?"

"They shot him." Jiya answered. Hakkai barely perceived that she was sobbing, "Shen and some others…he got in the way…they were aiming for me…and he…"

"That idiot…" Hakkai snarled again.

"Hakkai, can't ya' heal 'im?"

Hakkai barely glanced up at Goku and saw the horror and fear in his features. He looked at the wound again, and the blood there. It had hit his jugular, a huge artery. It would spread quickly unless something happened. Muttering curses Hakkai rarely used, he leaned over Gojyo's body, tilting the hybrid's head to the side and moving his hair out of the way. He pressed his mouth to the wound and sucked; his mouth filled with hot, salty blood that tasted like copper. His human heart reacted against it and he turned immediately to spit it out, but his youkai body was giddy from the vague taste of human blood. He sucked more, and this time it was bitter and chemical-tasting, and he knew that he had a mouth full of blood and venom. He spat that out as well and went back for more.

"Disgusting!" Goku squealed, "What th' heck are ya' doin'?"

"I've got to get the poison out." Hakkai gasped, spitting out another mouthful, and then sucking up another. "It won't affect me, even if it does get into my blood stream…" he spat out another. Then another. "If I don't hurry…it will kill him."

"Wait a minute, Hakkai," Sanzo said, his voice strangely calm, "just relax for a moment. Let's think this through."

"There's no time." Another salty, acrid mouthful. He was beginning to get used to the taste. "I'm not going to let him die."

"Those people we saw yesterday said that a widow lives a few miles from here, remember? They said she's kind to strangers. We should take him there."

"They also said, if you'll remember," Hakkai spat out another mouthful of blood. The bitter taste of poison was beginning to fade. Was he succeeding? Or had it just spread away from the wound already? "That we might reach it by nightfall. That's hours away, Sanzo."

"There's no other choice, Hakkai. We've got to hurry. It's our best bet."

"You just want to keep going!" The youkai shouted, "You and your precious journey west, Sanzo! You just want to make sure we get as far as we can!"

"Don't get me wrong, Hakkai, Gojyo means nothing to me, but…I can't do this with only me and Goku."

Hakkai understood that insinuation. If Gojyo died what would it mean for him? He'd be out a brother.

He shook that thought away and went back to the wound in Gojyo's neck. The hybrid wasn't his brother. What was he thinking?

If only he hadn't sent him to get the water…if only he hadn't been angry…then he might have asked someone else to go.

"Mister Hakkai," Jiya said quietly, "maybe he's right. Maybe if we hurry that woman can help us."

But there was no guarantee.

Hakkai glared up at Jiya. This was all her fault, and he wanted to blame her. "You…you did this to him."

Her face went white.

"We don't have time for this, Hakkai," Sanzo snapped, "either we keep going and possibly save Gojyo, or you sit here and suck every bit of blood out of his body. It's up to you."

"There's no guarantee," Hakkai muttered, "you know that."

Sanzo looked at him for a moment, and then he moved forward gun in one hand, grabbed Hakkai by the shirtfront and dragged him up off the ground, away from Gojyo. He shoved him back against a tree, "Don't be a fool, Hakkai. Goku, can you carry him?"

"What? Gojyo? Yeah… I think so. He's not very fat."

"Good. And you," he said to Jiya, "grab the water. We've got to hurry."

Hakkai watched as Goku knelt to lift Gojyo into his arms and felt the fury and the shame pulsing through him. This was his fault. All of it. He should have been more clear to Gojyo that morning about what he meant. If only he'd had time to explain.

"Hakkai," Sanzo said firmly, "stay with me. We've got to go now, or we'll be too late."

"Yes…" Hakkai rubbed his lips and spat out some more blood. He had to calm down. Sanzo was right. He had to get a hold of himself. It wasn't doing any of them any good to stay there. Least of all Gojyo. "Yes, of course."

If only they hadn't lost Jeep. He should have never sent Jeep with Sanzo and Goku.

He shouldn't have let Gojyo fall off the cliff. That was where this had all started.

Sanzo released him at last and began to lead the way back out to the road. Hakkai followed him quickly, and Goku was right behind him.

Everything was out of control, just like he'd said. He glared at Jiya out of the corner of his eye. She had sent everything spinning out of control.

But it had been his job to keep it together. The cliff… He saw Gojyo's face again as he fell head over heels off into the void. That disbelieving, helpless look. Hakkai knew it was on his face now.

When they got to the road, they started to run, regardless of pain or physical weakness, regardless of personal limitations, they were all running, as fast as they could, their hearts pounding loudly, breath tearing from them raggedly. It didn't matter how far they had to run, only how fast. If they ran out of time that was it. They couldn't do this with only three. Sanzo knew that. Hakkai knew it too. If they were too slow it was a matter of life and death. It was a matter of the whole team now.

They were afraid. Hakkai could sense the fear all around him: his own, Goku's, Jiya's, even Sanzo's. They were all terrified. Only Gojyo was calm. Hakkai looked at his closed face and wondered if he was dreaming.

Miles passed beneath them, moving slowly in the other direction, and minutes ticked by, almost unaware of their plight, and at the same time, seeming to laugh at them.

By the time Hakkai finally saw a faint wisp of gray smoke in the distance, he had almost given into despair. He had almost convinced himself that there was no house, and that all was lost. But he kept hoping and holding on, for Gojyo's sake.

They ran toward that pillar of smoke, each of them, without saying anything, all aware of what it signified.

The house was set back, deep in the woods, surrounded on all fronts by a thick army of trees. It was a log cabin of some kind, with small, square windows, and an elaborate door. The sweet smell of firewood surrounded them, like a dream. It would have been peaceful if the circumstances had been different.

Hakkai staggered up the steps, barely able to walk after the long run. He looked at Gojyo, trying to determine if they were too late, but it was impossible to tell. His friend hadn't moved or spoken, and his face hadn't changed at all. If he was alive, it was terribly close to death.

He beat on the door with all the strength he had left, forgetting to be polite, "Open up! We need help!"

When nothing inside stirred, he banged again, screaming until his voice hurt, "Open the damn door, for God's sake! There's no time! You have to help!"

The door opened so suddenly that he almost fell inside, and a kindly, little old woman was standing there, smiling at him, her face bright and sweet.

Hakkai fell to his knees in front of her, breathing so hard he could barely speak, "Please…" he said at last, remembering his manners, "please…we need…your help…"


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten: Love

Chapter Ten: Love

The pain in his body was ballistic, like a charging elephant had run right over him, crushing every bone, destroying every organ, mutilating tissue and muscle mass, obliterating nerves. A fire was burning in him. He could feel it spreading down through his neck, touching his heart with hot fingers. It shot up through his arms, a rampant, unbearable storm. He opened his mouth to scream, but he couldn't hear, and his voice probably didn't work anyway. He screamed anyway, soundlessly. He tried to open his eyes, but they weren't working, and all around him was blackness, blackness, blackness. He sought desperately for any sign of someone-anyone-friend or foe, Hakkai or Sanzo, or Goku or Kougaiji, or Jiya or Shen. _Someone!_ His soundless voice cried. _Anyone! Please! Please stop this pain!_ No one answered.

How had this happened? Who had set this fire? What match? What spark? Where was it's source? How could he stop it? He couldn't remember what had happened. It was too far away, like something so far back in the past that his memory had simply let it go. Perhaps years _had_ passed, and now he was old and blind and deaf and mute, paralyzed from the neck down

He tried so hard to lift his fingers, but he couldn't. His arms were weighted down, like someone had chained them. He screamed again, and this time, he almost thought he heard a sound.

Where was the sun? Where was the rain? What day was it? Was he still traveling with Sanzo?

No. No. Sanzo would never take him with him when he was like this. He was no good to his friends in this condition. They must have left him. If they hadn't they would soon. They couldn't wait forever.

_Sanzo! Sanzo!_ His soundless voice screamed. _Sanzo, don't leave me here! Please don't leave me behind!_

He'd die. If they left him here he'd die. They knew that, didn't they? They didn't care…

_…mutt, mongrel, freak, half-and-half, nothing, nothing, nothing…_

Now something was clearing up. He could almost see a memory.

Mom, standing over him, that axe in her hand, those tears running down her face…

Jien, holding his sword, blood on his shirt, dark eyes full of tears…

Hakkai, as he fell into is arms, screaming, calling him an idiot, begging him…

No. that wasn't it. It wasn't Mom or Jien or Hakkai…the face loomed over him as he fell into darkness, gold hair like a beacon, leading him out of the dark and back to the shore…

No…no….no…no…he'd left him behind. He could feel the loneliness.

Despair washed over him like water, getting into his lungs and filling his ears, shutting down his heart and taking over his brain, like a wave of darkness.

He opened his mouth one last time to scream.

A horrible voice rang through his head, obliterating and shattering the very last shard of his sanity. It was a terrible sound, one of pain and fear and anguish. It was so awful. Why wouldn't it stop? He wanted to find whoever owned that voice and kill them, just to make them be quiet. What did they have to be so fucked up over anyway? Their problems were nothing compared to his. At least they had a voice to scream with.

Wait…wasn't that _his_ voice? That terrible screaming? Could that be him?

"OPEN YOUR EYES, DAMMIT!"

_San…zo…but…you…you left me behind._

"I will if you don't shut the hell up already."

Gojyo forced himself to open his eyes. It felt like they were full of sand. He was staring up into beautiful, purple eyes and a scowling face, framed by golden hair. _Sanzo…but…_

In that instant, it was like he'd touched a live wire. Energy went through his body, making him jittery with adrenaline, and he tried to sit up.

It was only then that he realized why Sanzo's face was so close to his, that the monk was sitting on the edge of his bed, holding his shoulders down against the mattress. "Stay still, dammit."

"You…you…"

Slowly, Sanzo removed his hands, "If you try to move I swear to God I'm knocking you out. You've done nothing but scream for the last twenty minutes and some quiet would be a nice change of pace. What the hell is wrong with you anyway?"

Gojyo barked a laugh and his whole torso felt like it was splitting apart.

He looked around. A room of some kind. It was painted this sort of weird, golden yellow, with matching curtains, and the bedclothes he was tangled up in were yellow too. And soft…

The hybrid rested his head back against the pillow, "God dammit…I had the worst dream…"

"Screaming like that, I'm not surprised."

"Was I really screaming?"

"I couldn't make you shut up for anything…begging me not to leave you behind…like a pathetic little kid."

"I just assumed you would…"

"Listen you freak of nature…"

"Where's Hakkai?" Gojyo's eyes roamed over the room. "I thought he'd be here when I woke up…"

"You were expecting to wake up?"

Gojyo closed his eyes, "No…no, I guess I wasn't."

"He saved your life, you know, sucking the poison out of you."

Thinking about that image made Gojyo want to throw up, but the implications behind it made it impossible to even wrinkle his nose in disgust. "Oh." Was all he could say.

"So needless to say, you owe him a thanks. He sat by you for the last four days, couldn't make him eat or even sleep."

"Four days?" Gojyo opened his eyes again, stared at the window. There was golden sunlight streaming in. He could see now that it was just the drapes that were yellow, and the cast from the sun was making everything else look the same, "Four days… Where are we?"

"The widow's house. She's some kind of witch I guess…force fed you some nasty shit."

"Like a potion?"

"I guess."

"Hey," Gojyo laughed, but the action made his whole body hurt, "you're being awful docile there, Sanzo-chan."

"Don't be an idiot. If you died now it would rob me of my right to kill you."

"That's touching." Gojyo moved his arms slightly, first the right, and then the left. Pain shuddered through his whole body, so he went back to lying still. That seemed better anyway. "So where's Hakkai?"

"I finally convinced him to go get some rest before he died. The fact that you screaming didn't wake him up surprises me. He must really be exhausted."

"How the hell did you get here? Wasn't this place miles away?"

"We ran, obviously. You slept, and we ran."

"If it's any consolation," Gojyo snorted, "it wasn't a very restlful sleep."

Sanzo didn't answer for so long, Gojyo almost thought he'd left. He turned his head to look at him and felt a wave of crushing shock assault him. Sanzo looked so…concerned?

"Gojyo, you idiot." He stood up suddenly, turning away from the hybrid. "You idiot, Gojyo."

"Oy," Gojyo forced himself to sit up, ignoring the horrible spike of pain that dropped from his heart into his guts. "what's wrong with you? Don't tell me you're actually…"

_Worried about me…_

"You're such an idiot…_such_ an idiot."

"So they keep telling me."

Sanzo looked at him over his shoulder, a strange look on his face, "You…" he said quietly, "you love her. Don't you."

It wasn't a question.

The words shattered that last bit of reason that he was hanging onto so tightly. It was like a slap of ice water in his face, going through his hair and dripping down his neck and shoulders. It was so cold and so real…he couldn't believe he'd missed that. He couldn't believe that the emotions he'd been feeling had been _that_ and he hadn't even known it. But nothing else made sense. The way he felt when he was with her, the fact that he'd saved her-three times-the jealousy and the hatred he felt towards Shen…it all added up now.

"I knew that you did." Sanzo continued. "I could see it that very first day, when you saved her life from that youkai. When she said your name and you blushed, I knew it. It was so painfully obvious. I guess you and Goku were the only ones dumb enough not to realize…"

"Jiya…" Gojyo fumbled with the name, "you're talking about Jiya?"

The priest turned on him fiercely, "Well who the fuck else would I be talking about? Of course Jiya. You're such an idiot, Gojyo! Don't you get it? You _can't _love her!"

Gojyo rested his forehead in his hands, "I know…I know…I know, okay? I know. But…"

"Stupid kappa."

"Look you tight-ass priest, I didn't _mean_ to fall in love with her."

"It doesn't make it any less stupid."

Gojyo ran a hand through his matted hair and pain shot through each of his fingers. "I…guess I am an idiot. But what the hell am I supposed to do now? It's too late…she loves me back."

"For your sake, you'd better be honest with her."

"Honest? I don't-"

"Don't give me that shit, Gojyo. You know what I mean."

Gojyo felt like he did know, so he looked away, falling back against the pillow. "Don't pretend to be so concerned."

"I would never pretend to be concerned for you."

"Then why-"

"What happens to one of us affects us all, whether I like that or not. Whether I like _you_ or not. So you'd better hurry the hell up and get over this, or I really _will_ leave you behind." The priest began to walk away.

"You piss empty threats." Gojyo murmured.

Sanzo stopped when he got to the door and looked back at him, "Then why were you begging me not to?"

Gojyo didn't return the look, "I…I dunno, man…I just…"

_…the only family I have…_

"I see." Sanzo threw the door open. "Well, while you think about it, I guess I'll tell the other two…"

"Sanzo…" he couldn't quite lift his voice, and he had to force himself to breathe evenly, "do they know?"

"Like I said, you and Goku were the only two dumb enough not to figure it out."

With that, he was gone.

Almost immediately, the door swung open and Hakkai came in, "Gojyo?"

He smiled his bright, cheerful smile, but not before Gojyo noticed the severe concern it was hiding. "Oh, thank goodness, you're awake. You've been out for some time now. How are you feeling?"

It was easy to detect the tenderness in that question. It wasn't something Hakkai just asked out of politeness, but something he really cared about, something he really wanted to know. He sank down on the side of the bed immediately, smiling down into his friend's face. "It really isn't fair of you to worry me like this; we've all been quite concerned."

"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that."

"The widow was kind enough to let us stay here. Even so, you were unconscious for four days."

"That's what Sanzo said."

"Oh, has he talked with you?" Hakkai got up again, and went to pour a glass of water from a pitcher that was sitting on the nightstand, "He was so angry, I was sure he'd never speak to you again."  
"Really?" That caught Gojyo off guard. Sanzo hadn't seemed angry. "He's mad at me?"

Hakkai frowned, "You've done a very foolish thing, Gojyo." He admonished softly.

"Guess so."

"At any rate, it's important that you stay hydrated: drinking plenty of water is the only way to make sure that all of the poison is flushed from your body, so please sit up and try to drink this."

Gojyo sighed. It was apparent that he was going to be treated like he was incompetent until he was feeling better. Arms shaking and pain shooting through him, he forced himself to sit up again, tucked a tendril of hair behind his ear and accepted the glass with a muttered, "Thanks." He took a deep sip from the glass, getting a mouthful of something bitter and strong. The hybrid coughed immediately, hacking into his fist and choking slightly, "What's up with this water?"

"It's loaded with medication, I believe."

"Thanks for the warning." Gojyo cleared his throat and wrinkled his nose. He didn't want to drink another sip of the contaminated water, but after his tongue had tasted the cool liquid he suddenly realized just how thirsty and hot he was. Under Hakkai's watchful gaze, he drank the rest and wiped his mouth with the back of his wrist. "So," he hesitated, not wanting to look his best friend in the eye, ashamed by what he must have put him through, "Sanzo told me that you…sucked the poison outta' me."

He saw Hakkai frown out of the corner of his eye, "Well Sanzo's certainly been chatty today. Yes, it was the only thing I could think of that might have helped you, though, in the end, I'm not sure of how effective it was."

"Thanks." Gojyo said quietly.

"Oh, no, you don't need to thank me, Gojyo, after all, I feel that if it hadn't been for me, this might not have happened at all."

"Don't be so modest, Hakkai." He smiled grimly. Even his face hurt.

Now that his thirst was staved, he suddenly felt the extreme need for nicotine and automatically checked the pocket of his jeans for his pack of cigarettes.

"If you're looking for your cigarettes I suggest you not bother."

"Why the hell not?"

"Gojyo," Hakkai looked at him seriously, "your blood was full of poison, the last thing you need to do right now is to smoke and drink. In fact, I forbid you to do so until further notice."

"Hey! What the hell? I-"

Hakkai gave him a firm glare, "If you intend to argue with me I think it's only fair that I remind you of your bedridden state. You won't be on your feet again for at least another day, and until then, you're at my mercy."

Gojyo snorted, "You sonnava…" he couldn't bring himself to finish though. "A whole nother day?"

"I'm afraid so."

Five days. Were they really going to waste five days on him? Sanzo couldn't be serious about that. "Sanzo's gonna' want to move on…"

"Strangely enough, he hasn't said a word about moving on yet. Perhaps he's enjoying the seclusion here. Or maybe he simply gets satisfaction out of watching you suffer."

"That's a little more likely." Gojyo hesitated and took a deep breath that caught in his throat, nervous about asking the next question now that Sanzo had enlightened him, "What about…Jiya…?"

Immediately the calm look on Hakkai's face melted and was replaced by an expression of pure resentment, "Hm? Oh, I suppose she's fine. I've seen very little of her since we arrived due to the fact that I've been spending a great deal of my time in here, but at the very least she wasn't hurt. I believe she's been spending most of her time with Goku and the widow."

He finished abruptly and they were both quiet, ignoring the elephant in the room. At last Gojyo glanced up at the youkai, "You knew…"

"Yes. It took me a little while to be sure, but I got the feeling right away that something was there. You were surprisingly difficult to read."

"And when you were warning me about leading her on, it wasn't for her, was it?"

"No, I really couldn't care less about that woman, Gojyo. Perhaps in a few days when you're back to your old self I'll feel differently, but for the moment, I cannot help but hold her responsible. I may have failed in my duty to protect you, but she is the one who got you into this."

Gojyo felt his face get hot with anger, "Hey, man, don't get cocky. The last thing I need is for you to protect me; and don't try to put all the blame on Jiya. She didn't do anything wrong."

"That's just the thing. Once I realized how much you care for her, I also realized how inherent it would be that she would hurt you at some point, in some way. And I was right."

"If you wanted to warn me about that, why didn't you just say something?"

"To be honest, it took me too long to be sure that I was right about you two. I began to get the feeling that she had feelings for you almost the moment I saw you together, but you were a different matter. There was no doubt in my mind that you were acting strangely toward her, but I couldn't determine in any certainty if that meant you cared for her or not. I didn't want to jump to conclusions. Now I wish I had."  
"It wouldn't have changed anything." Gojyo shifted a hand through his hair, wishing again that he could have a cigarette.

"You do love her then, don't you?"

"I guess I do."

"How unfortunate for her."

Gojyo glared at the youkai, "Just what do you mean by that, Hakkai?"

Hakkai wasn't looking at him though. He had his eyes averted to the other side of the room, "You know, Gojyo. I don't have to tell you what I mean; I'm sure you understand."

"Yeah," the hybrid muttered after a moment, "Sanzo mentioned that too."

"What are you going to do?"

"What else can I do? I have to tell her: she has every right to know."

"That's just what I was afraid of. You know that once you tell her it's extremely unlikely that she'll want to stay with you."

"Yeah, yeah, just let me worry about that."

"At any rate, I hope you can see now why I wanted to warn you against this affair." His voice dropped slightly and he looked at Gojyo again. He was whispering now, like he was afraid of how the hybrid would respond to the words, "No matter how this ends, you must understand that it is very unlikely that it will turn out well, and there's only a small chance that you'll be happy in the end. I didn't want this for you, Gojyo, because I believe that when this is all over it will only have left you in pain."

"Mind your own damn business, 'Kai." Gojyo mumbled.

"If you feel that I'm getting out of line, I'm sorry, but the truth is that I've gotten considerably attached to you, and I'll be sincerely displeased if something more happens to you."

Gojyo forced himself to laugh. "Uh-huh, all right, Mom. Whatever you say."

"I just want you to understand where I stand on the matter."

"I've got it, Hakkai, and don't worry about me, all right? I'm a big boy: I can take care of myself."

"Oh, but that's not necessarily true, is it?" Hakkai chuckled. "You can be quite incapable at times. Particularly when it comes to women."

Gojyo smirked at him, "Guess it's a good thing you're here to keep me out of trouble."

"Yes," the youkai looked somewhat distantly, "we have to make sure you don't fall off any more cliffs."

Goku heard Sanzo and Hakkai talking in the next room. He stuffed the last of his lunch into his mouth and snuck over to the kitchen door, crouching down and slowing his breath so that he could hear better; he felt anxious immediately when he heard Hakkai say Gojyo's name. For the last four days the Kappa had been unconscious, lying on the line between life and death, and no one was sure that he was going to survive. At first Goku had tried to talk to the other two about it, in an attempt to find out whether or not the cockroach would be all right, but they had both avoided it bluntly. Hakkai was rarely away from Gojyo's side, and the few times Goku had gone in to see him, he'd been extremely non-responsive. As for Sanzo, he was refusing to answer any questions, as if he just wanted to pretend that nothing was wrong. As a result, Goku had no idea what was going on, whether Gojyo was all right or not, if he was coming around, if he'd be able to move on with them. He didn't even know if the kappa was alive. It was frustrating to be out of the loop, but he got the feeling that Sanzo and Hakkai were trying to hide something from him, and he just wasn't sure what it was. It had something to do with Jiya though, he knew that.

She'd been very gloomy and isolated ever since they'd come here, and neither Hakkai nor Sanzo would talk to her at all, so she'd wound up spending some of her time with the widow that owned the house, some of it with Goku, and the rest of it alone. Which wasn't exactly right, as far as Goku was concerned. He didn't really get why they were ignoring her. And he didn't get why they weren't telling him anything. Had Jiya done something bad that he wasn't supposed to find out about?

The boy chased the thoughts from his mind and listened intently to Sanzo and Hakkai.

"He seems responsive at least," the youkai was saying to the priest, "things could have been much worse."

"You saved his life, you know."

"Ah ha ha, I'm not sure about that, Sanzo. I simply did what my instincts told me would be best. I don't know that it accomplished anything. In any case, he should be up to speed again in a couple of days—at least well enough to travel."

"Fine. Two more days, and then we're leaving. And that girl's _not_ coming with us."

"I'm not sure we'll be able to manage that."

"I don't care what they think. She's caused enough trouble, and when we move out, she's staying here."

Hakkai was quiet for a moment, and Goku's heart raced. Did they realize he was listening?

"He won't like that, Sanzo," Hakkai said at last, his voice even quieter than before, "it will be very difficult to convince him that it's for the best."

"He doesn't have to like it. That's just the way it is."

"I suppose…"

Goku strained to hear what they were saying now, but their whispers were so vague, he couldn't make anything out.

"What about Goku?" Hakka asked at last, "Have you told him yet?"

"That the kappa's awake? No."

"That's probably best.. With the condition Gojyo's in at the moment it wouldn't be wise for him to get excited over anything, and with the way those two behave…"

Goku felt indignant at hearing that. How dare they think he couldn't behave himself well enough to go and see Gojyo? If his friend was awake and feeling even a little better it was his right to be able to see him, just as much as it was anyone else's. He didn't like that they were hiding things from him.

The two adults continued talking, changing their topic to Shen, musing over what had happened to him. "I believe Gojyo managed to cut his hand off before passing out, but that was all."

"That bastard's just determined enough to not let that slow him down, too."

"I thought so too. I suppose that means we should expect him to come after us again soon. The only problem will be whether Gojyo will be up to a fight or not."

"Whatever. I'm not fighting for him."

"He wouldn't want you to."

Their voices got softer as they started to go down the hall, further and further away from the kitchen. Goku waited until he couldn't hear them at all, and then he stood up again, pushed the door open a little and looked both ways down the hall. There was no sign of Sanzo or Hakkai; they must have gone somewhere else to continue their conversation.

The boy stepped out into the hall and looked toward Gojyo's room. The door, as usual was shut tight, and there were no sounds coming from beyond it. He swallowed hard. Was Gojyo really okay? Was he really awake? Goku had heard Hakkai say that he was awake and doing better, but he felt like he needed proof, he needed to see with his own two eyes that his friend was all right.

It wouldn't actually be bad for him to go see him, would it? He wouldn't try to argue with him or anything. Goku just wanted to make sure that Gojyo was alive.

Glancing over his shoulder to make sure that Sanzo and Hakkai really were gone, he began to walk down the hall toward the kappa's room. The hall suddenly seemed longer than usual, and Goku felt nervous. What if he didn't like what he saw in there? What if Gojyo really wasn't okay? He remembered what the kappa had looked like lying there in Hakkai's arms, so lifeless and hopeless. He didn't want to see him like that again.

Regardless, Goku forced himself to walk up to the door, his fist hovering over it, contemplating whether he should knock or not, and then, on second thought he just opened it and crept inside.

The room was warm, bathed in a comforting, yellow light, the atmosphere soft and comfortable, like there was a fire in the corner. It was a simple room with a few non-descript decorations, a nightstand with a pitcher of water, a thermometer and an empty glass sitting on it, and of course, the bed, directly across from the door.

Goku shut the door behind him softly and stared at his friend.

Gojyo was lying on his side, the blankets pulled up around his bare waist, his hair tousled and thrown across the pillow, half-covering his face. His breathing was the only sound, other than the sweet singing of the birds outside. It sounded regular now. Not like before. A few days ago, when Goku had first come in here, Gojyo had been a mess. He'd had a terrible fever, his face flushed from the heat, and he'd tossed back and forth a lot in his sleep, crying out occasionally, clutching the blankets in his fists, like he was fighting someone in his dreams. His breathing then had been ragged, irregular and uneven, like his lungs were going out, and his pulse had been shuddery and weak. Goku had been able to hear his heart, fluttering helplessly within his chest.

It was strange to see this room without Hakkai in it, since the youkai had sat on the edge of the bed for days at a time, administering medication to his friend and holding his hand when he screamed.

Slowly, Goku walked forward. He felt a little relieved that Gojyo was looking all right, but some part of him was still afraid to get too close. He stopped at the bedside and looked down into the kappa's unconscious face.

Gojyo's skin looked pale, even in the warm light, and clammy, with loose strands of hair stuck to his forehead and cheek, his eyes were shut gently, his lips parted slightly as he breathed through his mouth. Goku stood over him and reached down and swept a few vines of hair from his friend's face. He didn't like seeing Gojyo like this. Gojyo was supposed to be cocky and arrogant and loud and annoying. He was supposed to act careless. He wasn't supposed to be lying in a bed like this. Goku had gotten so used to being able to depend on Gojyo, like an older brother, so used to being able to trust him, it was hard to see him lying there, still and helpless, like he was dying. It left Goku not knowing what he should do. He petted the soft, cherry-colored hair. It felt limp and greasy.

The touch roused the kappa and he moaned a little, then opened his shocking eyes to look up at Goku. "Hey kid." He mumbled.

"Hey Gojyo."

"What are you doing in here?"

"Just came t' see ya'. Hakkai said ya' were awake, so…"

Gojyo smiled, but Goku could see that even that was causing him pain, "Awe, was the little monkey worried about me?"

Goku didn't allowed himself to get caught up in the teasing voice his friend had used. Instead he nodded, "Yeah, I really was."

The answer didn't seem to be what Gojyo was expecting. The smile fell away and he shrugged, "I'm all right."

"Are ya' sure? I mean, do ya' feel okay and stuff?"

"I think okay would be a little bit of an overstatement, but I'm not gonna' die."

Goku felt those words hit home: the kappa had come so close to dying, he'd been so sure that this might be the end for him, he'd even been making plans for how he should deal with that. He sank down on the bed, "Good. I'm glad you're alive."

"Hey, monkey, don't go getting all sentimental on me, all right? I'm fine."

"Yeah, but…ya' shoulda' seen yourself…ya' didn't look too good." Goku smiled slightly, "Ya' still don't."

Gojyo sighed, "I wish you pricks would all just quit your friggin' worrying about me. I'm an adult, Goku."

"I know. But ya' got hurt real bad."

The kappa rolled over onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. "Damn. First Hakkai takes my cigarettes, and then _you_ of all people come in, all serious."  
"I just don't get why ya' did it, Gojyo…it's not really like ya' t' take hits for people ya' don't really know."

"Isn't it?"

Goku looked back at him, but the kappa was still just staring up, like there was something very interesting above him. "Th' others," Goku said slowly, "are real mad at Jiya, but they won't tell me why. Did she do somethin' to ya'?"

"Naw, they just think it's her fault that I got hit."  
"Why's that?"

"Hell if I know, kid." Gojyo sighed. "Why so many questions, monkey? Go ask Sanzo."

"They won't tell me nothin'." Goku frowned, "I don't get why. It's like you're all keepin' secrets from me."

"I'm not keeping any secrets. I saved Jiya because I thought I'd have a better chance of surviving that shit than she would. That's all."

"But that stuff's designed t' kill…people like ya', isn't it?"

"Guess so, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't hurt a human. Besides, Shen was angry at her because of me. I just didn't want another good woman to go getting killed for my sake."

Goku thought about that for a moment. Women was really a sensitive topic for Gojyo; he guessed that had to do with his mother somehow. "Still, ya' almost died."

"I knew I wouldn't though, or I wouldn't have done it. So you all need to just calm down—I knew what I was doing. God, it's annoying having everyone all upset over me."

The words hurt Goku's feelings, for some reason. He felt like Gojyo was taking his concern way too lightly, as if his thoughts on the subject didn't matter, or that he didn't have any right to worry about one of his friends. He looked at Gojyo's neck where Hakkai had put a patch of bandages to stop the bleeding. "Ya' almost died," he said quietly, "don't ya' think we've got a right t' be upset? Even Sanzo was…weird the whole time ya' were asleep. An' Hakkai was all crazy. He wouldn't eat or sleep or nothin'. I think you're lucky t' be alive. Don't ya' care?"

Gojyo looked at him suddenly, "Look kid, it's not that I don't appreciate your concern, it's just…I don't think you should go losing any sleep over it."

"D'ya' think that ya' don't deserve us t' worry 'cause of what ya' are?"

The kappa looked surprised, "What? No. Why would you think that?"

"I dunno', ya' just seemed bummed th' last coupla' days before ya' got shot, an' I was wonderin' if it was 'cause how ev'rybody in the town treated ya'."

"No. I don't think that. I just don't like everyone worrying about me when it's my own stupid fault for getting hit. So relax. I'm okay now anyway."

Sighing, Goku flopped back onto the bed, pillowing his head on Gojyo's chest. "Nn. It's just…"

"Just what?"

"Just…I think you're worth worryin' over."

Gojyo was quiet, his breathing making Goku's head rise and fall with his chest; the movement made him sleepy.

The boy continued, "I mean, you're all pervy an' gross an' stuff, but I think you're a really great guy…ya' almost got killed for Jiya, and you did ev'rythin' ya' could t' help Hakkai when Ikku killed him. You're always there for me…I don't know what we'd do without ya', Gojyo…"

"Hey kid," the kappa's voice was gentle, his hand ruffled Goku's hair, "…that…it's no big deal, all right? Somebody's gotta' look out for you guys. God knows you wouldn't make it too far without me."

"Look who's talkin'."

"Yeah, I know. Pretty lame, eh?"

Goku laughed a little.

They endured a moment of silence, and Goku was just starting to think that the kappa had fallen asleep again when he said, "So, you really think I'm a good guy?"

"Yeah, sometimes. Ya' can be a jerk, but…ya' do some really nice stuff sometimes."

Gojyo snorted. "I'm just an idiot."

"I don't think so." Goku turned his head to look at him.

The kappa looked back at him for a moment before he cracked another pained smile, "All right, you win, kiddo," he closed his eyes and his hand rested on Goku's skull, "You win."

Goku smiled and closed his eyes too, "Just don't do anymore stupid stuff, got it?"

"Got it." Gojyo laughed a little.

After a few moments Gojyo's breathing was deep and even again, a sure sign that he was asleep.

In a little while, Goku was too.

He was woken up what felt like just a few minutes later, but the room was considerably darker. Goku wondered for a moment what had woken him up, and then he realized that his head was resting on the mattress of the bed. He sat up and looked at Gojyo, who was just finishing zipping up his jeans.

"Where're ya' goin'?"

"Out for some fresh air. That's all."

"Are ya' sure? Issit okay? Aren't ya' s'posed t'-"

"I'll be all right, just relax." The kappa pulled on his sleeveless, white shirt on, "Just don't tell Hakkai, all right?"

"I dunno…where're ya' goin'?"

"Not far. I've just gotta' talk to someone." He turned, his red eyes looking very serious, sweat standing out on his forehead. His mouth was drawn in a slight wince, and Goku could see that he was still in pain. "Don't you rat me out."

"But Gojyo, you're still-"

"I'll be right back. Just don't rat me out." The kappa stretched his arms a little, and then left the room. "I'm countin' on you, Goku."

Jiya sat on the front steps of the widow's house, her face pressed tightly to her knees, using the hem of her skirt to wipe her eyes as she sobbed quietly. Night was falling now and it was getting cool, but she didn't care. She didn't want to go inside and sit and eat dinner with the others. They were angry at her, and rightly so. Hakkai had told her, stiffly, that Gojyo was awake now, if she wanted to talk to him, but Jiya hadn't gone to see him. She was afraid to. It was all her fault that he'd gotten hurt, and she didn't think she could face him right now. How could she possibly look him in the eyes, and see his pain, and accept it?

For the last four days Goku was the only one who had been nice to her. The other two had been polite and civil, but she could tell that they were mad, especially Hakkai-San. She couldn't help being mad at herself. What an idiot she had been to follow them, to think that she had any right to be with Gojyo. She should have known better than to try to go with them anywhere. Jiya had known right from the start that Shen would be looking for her, and that he'd be angry when he found her, angry enough to hurt her. She just hadn't realized that Gojyo would get hurt trying to protect her. If she'd had any idea that he was going to do something like that she wouldn't have followed him, no matter what her heart was telling her. Nothing was worth making the man she loved feel pain.

For days she had pondered the way she felt toward Gojyo. The two days she'd been alone on the road, just walking, alone in her thoughts, it had been all she could think of at all. There had been something about him from the moment he approached, something about the easy vulnerability of his smile and the handsome look on his face. He'd been so charming and sweet, and even though she'd been able to tell that he was strong, she had gotten the sense that he was a very kind and gentle individual. Maybe he didn't even know it. Maybe he had spent years trying to suppress it, but it was still very vivid within him, and she had been drawn to that part of him.

It had become clear to her immediately that he was a hybrid, even though he really didn't look anything like Lee had. Still, she hadn't been afraid. She had welcomed the idea of being near another half-breed. She'd allowed herself to see things in him that she liked, allowed herself to get closer to him, to start liking him, and then she'd convinced herself that the affection she felt for him was actually love. In retrospect, she could see that she didn't really love him, but she could feel that there was potential for that, and that her affection might quickly become love, if it was given the chance.

Of course, that chance was lost now. He'd gotten hurt because of her, so how could he ever forgive her for that?

Behind her the door opened and someone stepped out; she tried to quiet her sobs, but it was futile. She was just too upset to be able to control herself.

"Hey, what are you crying about?" Gojyo sat down beside her, tucking a cigarette into his mouth and smiling that lopsided, handsome smile.

She stared at him, groping for words, "G-Gojyo? You're not supposed to be out here—you should be resting."

"Naw, I got sick of that. I just need some fresh air, and then I'll be good as new."

She looked at him critically and could see from his expression that every movement was causing him pain. "I'm sorry," Jiya hid her face again, this time covering it with her hands.

"Sorry for what?"

"You got hurt because of me. I should have known better than to come with you guys. I knew that Shen-"

To her surprise, Gojyo reached out and set his finger against her lips, silencing her immediately, "Shh. Don't blame yourself for this, Jiya. I don't think it's your fault, and I definitely don't regret what I did."

The gentleness in his voice caught her off guard, and she wasn't sure what to think of the change that had come over him, "Gojyo?"

He smiled slightly and ran his hand through her hair, "You're a beautiful woman, Jiya, I could never forgive myself if I allowed something to happen to you."

"I'm just sorry you had to get hurt."

"Don't be sorry."

He dragged on the cigarette for a moment, blowing smoke away into the cool evening.

"Gojyo," she said, after she'd been watching him quietly for a few minutes, you say you don't want me to be sorry, but I am, and if you want me to leave, I understand—I'm just a liability now that Shen knows where I am, he'll be looking for me. So if you want me to go away," she lowered her eyes, not ready for how bad the words hurt to think about, "I'll-"

"No," he said suddenly, "hell no, of course I don't want you to leave…" he tilted her chin so that they were looking each other in the eyes, "I don't want you to go anywhere."

She smiled slightly and leaned into his hand, "I-I'm glad. Because I really don't want to go. It's silly, really, even after I got you hurt, even when it's obvious that this is all my fault…I don't want to leave you…"

Gojyo released her and looked away, "Yeah?"

Taking that as an invitation to continue, she pressed closer to him, "Remember how I asked if you believe in love at first sight?"

He nodded slightly.

"Well I do believe in it, because from the moment I first saw you, even before I knew your name…I could feel something. Something I've never felt before. I don't know it's love, but I still feel it… I've never felt this way about a man before: not Lee, and not Shen. It's like," she hesitated, blushing as she spoke the next words," "it's like I've been waiting for you my whole life."

Gojyo still didn't say anything, and she watching the end of his cigarette crumble.

"I don't know how you feel about me, Gojyo, but I care, deeply, for you, and I know that the more time I spend with you the more like that I'll feel. If you don't feel that way, if you don't feel anything at all for me," she held onto his arm, "please just tell me, and I'll never talk about it again, even if I can't change how I feel."

"Jiya-"

"I just need to know how you feel about me!"

"Jiya, just stop."  
Her heart sank at the sight of his dark expression, the hardness in his eyes, the cold set of his jaw, it all told her that he was angry.

"It's true then. You don't feel the same…"

"No, it's _not_ true, Jiya. I…" he took another hit of nicotine, as if he were buying some time to organize his thoughts, "it's not that I don't care about you, it's just that I don't think I'm any good for you."

"What are you talking about? Of course you are."

"You want me to be, obviously, but the truth is I'm not long-term relationship material. I'm good for a night, but you couldn't make a husband outta' me."

"I never said I wanted to marry you; I just want to be with you." She murmured, holding his hand tightly.

Gojyo looked at her again, "Why? It's not like I'm some godsend. Do you think I came all this way to save you from Shen? That's not me, Jiya. I'm no Prince-Freakin'-Charming., so if it's some knight in shining armor you're looking for, you'd better keep looking."

She sighed and lowered her head.

"I'm sorry."

"Whether you're a knight in shining armor or not, Gojyo, you still saved my life, more than once; in my eyes, you're my hero."

"But-"

"I don't care about what you are or aren't. It doesn't matter to me that you're a half-breed, and it doesn't matter to me if you're not perfect. I just don't care."

"You're being ridiculous. I can't even guarantee that I could be loyal to you. I mean, I guess, maybe, as long as I had a woman in my life I wouldn't feel the need to sleep around, but I've never had a woman in my life before, so I really don't know."

"I-I'm not trying to _chain_ you to me," she stammered, "I just-"

"That's not the only reason though. There're lotsa' reasons why I wouldn't be good for you."

"Like what?" She challenged, "give me one reason why you're any less deserving than Shen."

"Well, for one thing, some hybrids aren't capable of reproduction."

The words stopped her heart, and all she could do was stare at him, trying to make sense of those words. They couldn't be true. "What?"

He sighed, "I don't really care, but I know that most chicks are into that stuff…havin' kids and everything. But the deal is, some hybrids can reproduce, and some can't. I've done a lotta' running around, ever since I was fourteen or fifteen, and as far as I know, not one chick I've been with has gotten knocked up from me. That's what I meant about being good for one night. I'm no stud."

Gojyo was quiet again for a moment, waiting for her to say something. But Jiya still couldn't think of anything to say, so he went on. "I know ya' didn't say anything about kids…but still, I don't want you jumping head-first into something unless you really understand what you're getting. It's not like it's the first time a chick's said she wanted to be with me…but normally if that happens, I gotta' tell them. What else can I do?"

"I don't believe you," she said at last, "you're just saying that to change my mind." She allowed a little anger to flow through her words, "Gojyo, if you don't feel this way about me, or you don't want to be with me, or whatever, just say so. Don't go making up stories to scare me off."

"That's not what I'm trying to do, Jiya, believe me. I…" he flicked ashes, "I…_do_ care about you. And I _do _want to be with you. I've never felt this way about a girl before. Ever. I don't know what that means, but I've got my guess."

She waded through those words, then smiled, "Do you really mean that?"

"Yeah, I do. Not that it matters."

"Of course it matters."

He snorted, "I just want you to understand what you're getting: A sterile, half-blooded slut. That can't be at the top of your 'want' list."

Jiya pondered that again; she had to assume he was telling the truth, if he wasn't trying to get rid of her, that was all it could be.

Like most women, she did want to have children, some day, something Shen had never agreed to, and normally she wouldn't want to be with a man who likely wasn't capable of having them. However, as she looked at him, seeing the pained look on his face, the sullen expression in his eyes, she was struck again by the strange sense of affection she felt towards him, a feeling that was growing more and more with each moment they spent together. Did it really matter if he couldn't reproduce? Did she really care that much? If they had a chance to be together because they both wanted to, shouldn't they take it? She felt so grateful toward him that, at least for those few minutes on the steps, she was overcome with love, and she couldn't think of anything beyond him.

Finally, Jiya moved closer, taking his hand in hers and leaning up to kiss him on the lips just once, "I don't care."

He looked at her, with wide, skeptical eyes.

"I don't know you very well, Gojyo, but I've never felt this way about anyone in my whole life, and if I had the chance to be with a good man like you, it wouldn't matter to me. If you'd just give yourself a chance-give _us_ a chance-to see if this could work, and maybe if it _did_ work, I wouldn't mind…"

"Jiya…" he seemed so lost and innocent at that moment, the expression on his face making her want to hold him, "but…c'mon, you can't be serious, right? I've got to keep going west with Sanzo and the others… I don't think you can come with us."

She smiled. He was trying so hard. "I don't need to go with you."

"What do you mean?" he whispered.

Jiya blushed, "I really like you, Gojyo, but if you don't like me, if you're just saying all these things to get away from me, I'll understand. Just be honest with me."

"What? No. C'mon, I just told you a minute ago that I've never felt this way about anyone before. Did you think I was kidding? It's the truth."

"Well, if you really want to be with me, the way that I really want to be with you, then I'll wait for you."

He was quiet, just staring back into her eyes, like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. When he spoke, his voice was shaking, "You'd do that…for a slut like me?"

"Only if you wanted me to."

Gojyo looked away, focusing on the sky, where the stars were slowly coming out. He took another drag from his cigarette, "No one's ever…I never knew any girls who…"

She squeezed his hand reassuringly, "I think you're a much better person than you give yourself credit for."

"Hmph. You just don't know me very well."

"But from what I _have_ seen of you, you're very…" she stopped, trying to find the word she needed. At last she smiled, "kind."

"Me?" he laughed bitterly, "Hell, I just do what I want. That doesn't make me a nice person."

"You've been kind to me though, and you've changed my life. I think you're worth waiting for, and I _will_ wait…if you want me to." She looked at him earnestly, "Seriously, Gojyo, if you don't want me to, if you aren't willing to commit to me or if you think this is just a phase for you, just tell me, and I won't mention it ever again."

She could see the shock on his face as he looked back at her, and then he cleared his throat and stood up suddenly, "I-I don't know, Jiya…I mean…I'll have to think about it…"

Still she hadn't let go of his hand. It was warm and callused from fighting, but there was something reassuring and tender about it. She liked the way it felt. "Of course."

For several minutes, they both just looked at each other, as if they didn't know what to say. Slowly, Gojyo leaned down to her face again, eyes tentative and full of longing. She leaned back to him, brushing her lips across his.

The door open and Hakkai came out, "There you are! What do you think you're doing, Gojyo? You're supposed to be resting. And I see you're smoking again, even after I very explicitly told you not to. I wasn't joking, you know."

Gojyo straightened up and looked at him, and Jiya felt somewhat abandoned and cold, clung to his hand relentlessly.

"Hey man, can't we get a little privacy?"

"Absolutely, one-hundred-percent no." Hakkai took the cigarette from him and stomped it out, "You're in no condition to be up. Get back to bed."

Gojyo rolled his eyes slightly, "Yes Mother." Then he winked down at Jiya, "Well, good night then, beautiful."

"Good night, Gojyo." She whispered, reluctantly letting go of his hand, and the half-breed walked back into the house, hands in his pockets.

Hakkai watched him go, and then looked down at Jiya, "Forgive the intrusion, but he really should be resting."

"I understand."

The look on the youkai's face told her that maybe there was more that he wanted to say, but at last he just shrugged a little, more to himself than to her, "At any rate, it's rather cold tonight. Perhaps you should come in. Dinner is ready."

Jiya nodded and stood up and followed him inside, murmuring, "Um…Hakkai-San…"

"Yes. What is it?"

"I just…I just wanted to apologize. This is all my fault, and I just want you to know that I never meant for him to get hurt."

He didn't answer at first, and he didn't look at her when he finally said, "I suppose it is somewhat difficult to protect the people you care about."

"Yes." Jiya nodded, looking one last time at the stars, "It really is."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven: Choice

Chapter Eleven: Choice

"She's not coming with us." Sanzo said firmly when he noticed Gojyo staring out the window to where Jiya gathering apples with the widow. The girl looked happy, her cheeks pink, her eyes bright. Over the last two days, she and Gojyo had spent every minute together, and her mood had greatly improved.

The kappa glanced at him, blowing a cloud of white smoke from his nose, "Whatd'ya mean?"

"You know what I mean. We're leaving tomorrow, and she isn't coming with us."

Gojyo seemed unbothered. It always frustrated Sanzo when the kappa was disinterested in what he had to say. It made it seem more likely that he was going to do whatever he felt like. "You'll have a hard time making her stay."

"Can't we just take her t' th' next village?" Goku asked. "It's not safe t' leave her here by herself, 'specially if that crazy guy's all pissy at her."

Sanzo shook his head stiffly, "She isn't coming, and that's final. She's caused enough trouble."

"But Sanzo-"

The Priest gave Goku a harsh look, "I don't want to hear another word about it."

"I don't see why it's up to you what she does." Gojyo said suddenly, a fierce smile on his lips and a hard look in his predatory eyes, "you aren't in charge of _everyone_ you know."

"But I am in charge of you three."

"Eat me, Sanzo, if Jiya wants to go with us there's nothing you can do to stop her."

"You wanna' make a wager on that?" Sanzo touched his handgun meaningfully.

The expression on Gojyo's face got all the more dangerous, "You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, come now, Gojyo," Hakkai spoke up last from where he was folding his clothes and fitting them neatly into his traveling bag, "be reasonable. Jiya is in danger if she's with you."

"And if you think you can protect her," Sanzo added, "I think you're wrong."

"Indeed. Just because we're moving on doesn't mean you're at one hundred percent again. I think it would just be best if you two moved on and forgot about one another. This obviously isn't a match that's meant to work out."  
"Woah, wait a minute!" Goku stared at Gojyo, "you an' Jiya are together?"

"I thought you knew."

"Dammit, Sanzo! Ya' don't ever tell me anythin'!"

"I just assumed that you'd realize it by yourself. Gojyo's with anything that's not a man."

"This is different, Sanzo," Gojyo snapped, his voice sounding particularly dark, and there was a threat in his look, "Jiya isn't like the other women I've been with…"

Hakkai's face contorted into concern, "Don't tell me that you actually believe this is going to last."

"I don't know yet."

Sanzo felt angry. This was turning out just like he had feared it would. Gojyo, of all people, had gone and fallen in love, and it was going to cause a problem. It was bad enough that the four of them had to be bound together, even without getting involved with other people.

"You stupid, shit-for-brains kappa," Sanzo snarled, marching over to grab Gojyo by the front of the shirt, "Just what the hell are you thinking?"  
"I'm thinking," Gojyo pushed him away, "that this is none of your business."

"You didn't tell her then." Hakkai sounded dismayed.

"Of course I told her! What kinda' bastard do you think I am? I told her everything, Hakkai, and you know what she said?" he smiled, showing his sharp, white teeth, "She said she didn't care."

That seemed to startle the converted youkai. Hakkai had been banking on that wild card. He had assured Sanzo numerous times that whatever was growing between the Kappa and Jiya would dissipate as soon as she knew the truth. So much for that theory.

Sanzo was in the process of coming up with something crushing, but Hakkai beat him to it, sneering when he spoke, "I suppose you should feel very lucky then, shouldn't you?"

Gojyo tilted his head to one side, like he was struggling to make sense of what Hakkai had said, but Sanzo could see from his expression that he understood perfectly what the youkai was referring to, "And just what is that supposed to mean?"

"It's very thoughtless of you really, getting involved with someone like this. It's inconvenient, and uncharacteristic, and it could very well jeopardize our mission."

"Hey," the kappa seemed insulted, "I never said I was ditching you guys or anything like that; she said she's willing to wait…it's not like we've decided anything."

"Just because you haven't said it out loud doesn't mean you won't."

"Well even if I did, could you guys blame me? I've got a woman-a damn hot one too-who doesn't care that I'm half-youkai, doesn't care about any biological or characteristic flaws who says that-if I want her to-she'll wait for me to come back, even though she knows I might be screwing around the whole time."

"Oh yes, it sounds like happily ever after to me."

Gojyo glared at Hakkai, "None of us have ever gotten a chance like that Hakkai, and definitely not me! Hell, any of you could find a girl and settle down and live happily ever after whenever you wanted—even _Sanzo_ could quit being a monk and live a normal life, if he found someone he wanted to be with."

Sanzo snorted, just to make sure they all knew how he felt about that.

"But how many available half-and-halfs have we run into, Hakkai? And how many human girls are out there who wouldn't care about what I am? How many youkai girls, while you're at it? Jiya's a rare woman-very rare-and I have no guarantee that I'll ever meet anyone like her ever again. You can't deny it."

"No, I suppose I can't."

"In that case, give me one good reason why I shouldn't jump at this chance?"

"But Gojyo-"

"Just get bent." The kappa said shortly, finishing up his cigarette, "Anyway, I never said I was walkin' out on you guys." And then he did just that.

"Honestly." Hakkai sighed.

Sanzo looked at him, "Damn kappa."

"He's been so stubborn lately, I can't really understand what he's thinking. This simply isn't like him."

"I don't care one way or another what that bastard does, I just don't need him making the kinds of decisions that are gonna' screw all of us over."

"Yes, I see what you mean." Hakkai sighed again, "It's just so strange. Before this…I feel like I could always relate to Gojyo, or at the very least understand what he was thinking. But recently, everything he's done has been out of character and bizarre."

Sanzo didn't like hearing that. Obviously this problem with Jiya wasn't going to fix itself, and he had been relying on Hakkai to resolve it instead, to knock some sense into Gojyo, but if even Hakkai couldn't figure out what was going on, it seemed hopeless.

"Yeah, but, Gojyo won't really skip on us, will he?" Goku demanded.

"That's just the problem, I'm afraid. I have no idea what he'll do, and there's no way for me to find out."

"Whatever." Sanzo lit a cigarette of his own, "If he tries something stupid we'll just leave his worthless ass behind." The words sounded right, but only because he knew that was what Hakkai and Goku were expecting to hear. In truth, Sanzo wasn't sure they could leave Gojyo behind—not because he cared about that damn kappa at all, because he certainly did not, but because without him they might not be able to complete their mission. Besides, the last time the team had split up, things had gone horribly wrong, and they all almost wound up dead. Sanzo couldn't live with that memory of chaos and fear and still consider leaving any of his comrades behind. In a way, he almost felt afraid of Gojyo. The four of them had an odd bond that kept them all together-a bond he didn't necessarily like-and at the moment Gojyo was being so unpredictable and so selfish, he had become a threat to the entire group, and their mission. He shuddered just thinking about what might have happened if Gojyo had died from the poison Shen had infected him with. It would have been more chaos and more confusion.

"So's Gojyo really in love with Jiya then?" Goku broke him out of his thoughts.

"I can't say for sure, but it appears that he at least believe himself to be."

"Spare me," Sanzo scoffed, "Gojyo isn't capable of love."

Immediately, Hakkai turned away from his spot by the window and sent Sanzo a glare so cold the priest had to suppress a shiver, "Excuse me? And why do you think that is?"

"What the hell is _your_ problem?"

"Nothing at all, other than I found your statement to be disgustingly obtuse. Honestly, Sanzo, it's not suiting at all for you to behave so thickly."

Sanzo gritted his teeth, "All that guy does is screw around—why should I believe that just because he's drooling all over himself for a woman that means he's in love?"

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Sanzo, but I do believe you were the one who noticed it first—I believe you were the one who pointed it out to Gojyo."

Sanzo cursed Hakkai mentally. Gojyo must have told him a little about the conversation they'd had when the kappa had first woken up. What was up with Hakkai anyway? It wasn't like him to react this way to something Sanzo said. It was normal for the priest to bash on Gojyo, and it was normal for the kappa to bash on Sanzo. Had that changed at some point?

Sanzo decided it was best not to respond to that, and turned his attention to his newspaper. Even then, he could still feel Hakkai's gaze cutting across the distance between them, full of disapproval.

"What are you looking at? You're not expecting an apology, I hope."

"Your negative attitude isn't resolving the situation by any means, Sanzo."

"Look, Hakkai, he's _your_ friend, so if you want to try to fix this, then by all means, give it a shot, but that slutty kappa has nothing to do with me."

"Perhaps I will." Hakkai muttered, and then he too turned to the door and left.

"Wow," Goku said quietly, "ya' really pissed him off, Sanzo."

"Feh. Who cares?"

"Ya' don't think this's gonna' be a big problem, do ya'?"

"It's already a pain in the ass."

"But I mean, if Gojyo leaves us again…what're we gonna' do?"

Sanzo didn't answer at first. Gojyo had left a couple times before; the first time it had been to hunt down "Kami-Sama", and the second time it had been to try to revive Hakkai from the dead. On both occasions the party had come horrifyingly close to utter destruction. That left no question in Sanzo's mind that the four of them being separated was a very bad thing. But in light of that, he had no idea how to prevent it. It was all up to Gojyo whether he wanted to stay or not. No one could make him.

At last, he shrugged, "Hell if I know."

Hakkai found Gojyo up in an apple tree, pulling lush, red fruit from the branches and tossing it gently down to Jiya, who was collecting the fallen orbs into a basket. They were both laughing and teasing one another good-naturedly. For a moment, the youkai just stood by, unnoticed, watching. They both seemed so…happy. The look on Gojyo's face was one of pure and utter bliss, and Jiya was smiling a radiant smile that put the sun to shame. It was just the way he and Kanaan had been…so long ago…

It was nice to see his best friend content like this. In so many ways, Gojyo was a very lonely man: on the outside, he was a ladies man, someone who had been with a lot of women and who liked to be with women, but the fact that he was always seeking one out whenever he could suggested that he couldn't bear to be without them. Furthermore, he had just as much right as anyone else to be happy. Why should anyone, Sanzo or himself included, get in the way of that? Why should anyone say that he shouldn't have that? Maybe Gojyo needed a woman in his life: someone to keep him company, to keep the loneliness at bay, to take care of him.

But even with that thought in mind, Hakkai had to realize that if Gojyo did have a woman in his life that would completely displace him. Gojyo's home was too small for all three of them to live in, and he'd only be in the way, a constant inconvenience. Furthermore, it would make him obsolete. He was the one who cooked and cleaned and made sure the garbage was put out for garbage day. He did the grocery shopping. Everything. And if there was a woman, he wouldn't need to do those things anymore. Still, he knew it was incredibly selfish and wrong to deny Gojyo the pleasure of a woman's love and company just because it would leave him not knowing what to do.

After all, if Gojyo could have even a quarter of the happiness that he and Kanaan had enjoyed, why should he prevent it? He wanted him to be happy.

At last, the youkai approached, clearing his throat, "Forgive me for interrupting, you two, but I'd like to have a word with you, Gojyo."

The half-blood looked down at him, "What kind of a word?"

"It's somewhat serious."

"Figures." A moment later, the red head was on the ground beside him, lighting a cigarette. "What's up?"

"Oh, yes. Jiya, would you excuse us for a moment? Gojyo and I are going to take a walk."

"A walk?" The hybrid glared at him.

Jiya was still giggling, but she nodded, "Of course. Go right ahead, I'm just going to finish getting these apples."

"Thank-you very much." Hakkai took Gojyo by the arm and began to lead him away. He waited until they were out of Jiya's earshot to start speaking, "You certainly looked like you were having fun."

"Is that a crime?"  
"No, of course not. I was only commenting." He waited a moment before adding, "You really do care for her, don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"You guess?"

"It's weird for me is all. This hasn't ever happened before."

"It's odd." He waited for a moment, "Gojyo, I don't really understand…I have to admit…I don't understand what it is that you're thinking. Everything you said earlier is true: Jiya is a very rare and very fortunate find for a man like you…and I don't mean to offend you by saying that."

"Naw, it's cool."

"In all honesty, you may never find someone like her again—you may never find anyone who'll take you for who you are, good and bad included. If you let Jiya go…you may never find a woman to replace her. The only part of that I don't understand is that you've never cared before. Since when does it matter to you whether or not you settle down? You really don't strike me as a believer in that sort of thing."

"I know, it's weird, right?" Gojyo grinned and looked off into the distance where the sun had fallen. The horizon was a vague, violet-red, "I don't know, man, I've never worried about love, per-say. Ever since I was a kid I've had no problem living life my way, without love, getting laid and moving on to someone new every night or two; I guess I kept myself from falling in love. But I've gotta' be practical, don't I? Someday," he locked eyes with Hakkai, "I'm gonna' get old, I'm gonna' go senile and be a stupid, old fart, and then no hot, young ladies are gonna' wanna' have anything to do with me. I guess I know deep down inside that this has got to stop. Some day."

"That's extremely insightful for you, Gojyo. I didn't know the fact that you're aging had even occurred to you."

"Heh. We've been on this damn road trip for over a year, Hakkai, and I'm not getting any younger."

"Twenty-three is still young though," Hakkai said gently, "I don't like to hear you worry about death and age."

"I figure we've all gotta' think about it from time to time."

"Perhaps if you'd quit smoking you're life would last a bit longer."

"Hey, you're the one with the tiny lifeline."

Hakkai laughed, "I know. Maybe because of that I'll never be happy the way you are with Jiya." He stopped, feeling suddenly overcome by a terrible sadness, "Perhaps…" the words were hard to form, his tongue seemed thick and his heart felt heavy, "perhaps the short time I had with Kanaan was the closest thing to a domestic life that I was ever supposed to have. Perhaps the night Ikku killed me was the night my life was truly supposed to end. For good."

Gojyo looked away.

Neither of them liked to think about that night. Even now, Hakkai wanted to change the topic, but he forced himself to go on.

"Perhaps my real life is already over."

"Don't talk that way, man." Gojyo said quietly, "You're way too young to talk like that. And I can't imagine a nice, smart, hot guy like you going the rest of your life without ever finding a woman who's right for you."

Hakkai smiled, but he still felt rueful, "I'm glad to see that you have a chance to be happy, Gojyo. Sanzo…told me that it's up to me to fix this-put some sense into you, I suppose-but now that I'm here, I can't convince myself to try to change your mind about Jiya. Instead, I just want to tell you," he looked at the kappa, "if this is what you want you should go for it. If abandoning us and this mission to be with Jiya will make you happy, you should take it, because you really might not get another opportunity."

To his surprise, Gojyo looked angry, "C'mon now, Hakkai, cut it out. I already told you I'm not leaving you guys."

"But Gojyo, don't you think-"

"She agreed to wait for me to come back from our mission. There's no reason why I should ditch you guys right now. Really, I can't believe you think I'd do that."

"You're right." Hakkai sighed, "I'm sorry, it's just that you've been so unpredictable lately. It would be nice if I knew what you were going to do."

"Well, I'd have to be an idiot to pass up a chance like this, right? If she really wants to wait for me, I've decided I'm willing to come back for her when we're done in India." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "I guess that means I've gotta' try to stop sleeping around so much, but…maybe I've done enough womanizing in the last eight years."

Hakkai laughed again, "That's just what I was thinking."

"Hey," Gojyo growled, but it was half-hearted.

The youkai put a hand on his friend's shoulder, "I'm happy for you, Gojyo."

The kappa looked a little more serious as he said, "I want you to know that this isn't gonna' change things between us; you're still welcome to live with me."  
"Perhaps we should deal with that bridge when we come to it."

Gojyo shrugged and finished up his cigarette. "Suit yourself."

A high-pitched shriek filled the air, and then there was the sudden fluttering of small wings.

"Jeep?" Hakkai cried, recognizing the tiny voice.

Presently, the small, white dragon flew into view, looking a little battered, with dull, red blood matting his wings and mane. Hakkai held his arm out and the creature alighted there, cheeping in a pained tone and nuzzling his master. "Good heavens," Hakkai murmured, "what in the world happened to you?"

"It looks like someone roughed him up pretty bad."  
Hakkai stroked his pet's head gently, "But who would do such a thing?

"Right," Gojyo snorted, "like you don't know."

"We have to get him back to the house; I don't know how bad he's hurt, but just to be safe…"

"Let's go."

Cradling Jeep in his arms, Hakkai began to run back the way they'd come, watching the plume of smoke rising up over the trees. In just a few minutes they were back at the widow's house; Goku met them at the door, "Hey, have you guys seen Jiya? Woah, what happened t' Jeep?"

"He's been hurt. That's all we know."

"Jiya? She was just right out here getting apples."

A second later, a feminine scream echoed through the woods, seeming to come from everywhere all at once.

"Jiya!"

Hakkai pushed past Goku, "You two go and find here; Sanzo and I will join you as soon as we can."

"Right." Gojyo already had his shakujou, "Let's go, Monkey." The two of them ran out into the woods.

Speaking comfortingly to Jeep, Hakkai took the dragon back to his own room and settled him on the pillow, wrapping up several of the wounds as quickly and efficiently as he could. He healed a few of the more serious gashes and called for Sanzo.

The monk appeared in the doorway, cigarette blazing, "What's the problem now?"

"Jeep's been hurt. Please bring me a basin of warm water."

"Where are the other two idiots?"

"Jiya's gone missing: they're searching for her."

"Damn." Mumbled as he walked away. He was back just a few moments later with the water, and Hakkai began to clean Jeep up.

"We have to hurry, Sanzo. Goku and Gojyo might need our help."

Goku loped along beside Gojyo, listening for any sign of an enemy, or of Jiya. "Whatd'ya think happened t' Jeep?"

"I don't know, but I bet that bastard Shen has something to do with it."

Another scream shot through the sky and both of them picked up the pace. "Crap. This's really bad, huh?'

Gojyo didn't answer, but stopped suddenly so that Goku had to skid to a halt.

"Hey, wha-"

"Sh."

The boy heard a branch snapping off to his left and turned just in time to see a group of humans emerging from the bushes. Laughter on his right, and more humans appeared. Another set came from directly in front of them. In just a few moments, Goku found himself completely surrounded. "Crap! These guys're all humans!"

"Where's Shen?" Gojyo demanded. It seemed like a stupid thing to worry about to Goku.

Laughing, the big man made his way to the front of the group, and Goku saw that his right hand was a bandaged stub, the very end of it browned with old blood. "Well, well, well, if it isn't my little half-breed friend. How are you, Gojyo? I have to say, I'm surprised to find you alive."

The kappa was smiling. "It's gonna' take more than your little gun to finish me off."

"Is that so?"

"Hey, scumbag!" Goku snapped, holding his nyoi-bo tighter, "Don't even think about tryin' ta' do anythin' to Gojyo, 'cause I'm not gonna' let ya'!"

"How touching."

"Shut it, Monkey," the kappa said calmly, "I'll handle this asshole."

Shen just laughed, "Do you think you can handle it, kid?"

"He's right," Goku whispered, feeling concerned for his friend, "Ya' still aren't completely better from th' poison; what if he-"

"Whatever you do, don't let _him_ know that."

"But-"

Gojyo looked at him out of the corner of his eye, "Do you think you can handle all these guys at once?"

"What? Well, yeah, 'course I can…but what about you?"

"I've got a score to settle." Gojyo stepped away from Goku, "All right, Shen, I'm only gonna' ask this once, and then you're dead: where's Jiya?"

Shen laughed at him, "Why don't you learn to mind your own business, boy?"

"I'm making it my business!" Gojyo leapt at Shen, the blade flashing, but the human stepped out of the way, retreating from the circle.

"If you ever want to see her again, follow me."

With that, the human took off running, fading away into the trees.

"Dammit!" Gojyo ran after him.

"Wait Gojyo! It might be a trap!"

"You just worry about these guys, Goku! I'll handle that asshole!" And then he was gone too.

Goku watched him disappear, cussing a little under his breath. It seemed obvious to him that Shen would be leading Gojyo somewhere he'd have the advantage, or maybe into an ambush where a lot of other humans would jump on him with those gun things. He thought about trying to follow his friend, but in the end, he knew he wouldn't get very far as long as all the other humans were there to interfere.

"All right uglies," Goku stood in a relaxed battle pose, Nyoi-bo tight in his hands, "let's get this over with."

The humans laughed at him, mumbling to themselves about having to take care of a kid. Goku realized they probably didn't know that he was a youkai.

"You're dead, kid." One man said, lifting a gun and aiming at Goku's face.

The youkai dodged to the side easily, grinning. He didn't really like to hurt humans, but these guys were involved with some pretty nasty stuff as far as he was concerned. He flew forward and hit the man with the gun over the head, knocking him out, "You guys suck! First ya' start huntin' Gojyo," he spun around, bashing another in the face as the man approached, "an' then ya' do this t' Jiya!" Several of them rushed him at once, but Goku evaded them easily, leaping up into the air and kicking a man in the face, bludgeoning another with his bo. In just a matter of seconds, ten humans were either unconscious or dead at his feet.

And there were still so many left.

"This kids not normal." A man said to his companion, as Goku took out several more. "He's way too strong to be a human!"

"Shut up idiot! Shen said something about that half-blood freak having a youkai friend, didn't he?"

"Yeah, but-"

"Well this must be him then, right?"

Goku grinned, turning to face them, "You guys're really, really stupid," he laughed. When he saw their blank expressions, he ran at them, "Gojyo doesn't have just _one_ youkai friend—he's got two!"

Just like that, the man who had spoken first was on the ground, howling in pain and bleeding from the nose, mouth and ears. Goku tried to ignore that. He really, really hated to hurt humans, there just wasn't any choice.

A few humans screamed and began to retreat after that, running back into the trees, calling to one another. Goku let them go, assuming it was probably right to spare a few of them. He focused on the ones that wouldn't back down and continued taking them out, one after another.

Still, they kept coming, and he worried that if he didn't hurry and get to Gojyo it would be too late.

Sanzo heard cries of pain and fear coming from somewhere up ahead and hurried forward, holding his gun tightly. Goku and Gojyo were too strong to be killed by humans, and he hadn't sensed any youkai energy so far, but still, he felt anxious. He wanted to get this all over with so things could go back to the way they'd been. From the look he saw on Hakkai's face, he could only assume that was what the youkai wanted as well.

"I hope we're not too late." Hakkai panted.

At the same time, both of them burst through the trees into a clearing where Goku was surrounded by at least forty humans. The kid seemed to be holding his own, taking out men left and right, busting them open with his bo. Some were already retreating.

"Goku!" Hakkai called.

The boy turned around, smiling, "Hey guys! I left a few for ya'!"

"Where's Gojyo?" Sanzo demanded.

"He took off after Shen—I think he's gonna' try t' help Jiya."

"That damn bastard." Sanzo couldn't help being mad at Gojyo. After all, he was readily endangering himself, and the others, just for that girl. He just couldn't make himself admire that. The anger made him feel violent, and he aimed his handgun at the nearest human, shooting him in the arm. They weren't really in the business of putting humans out of their misery after all, and these men didn't exactly deserve to die, as far as he knew.

Hakkai was already tearing into them, not seeming to be very conscious of whether he killed them or not. Sanzo smacked a man over the top of the head, and he crumpled to the ground, and then he turned to watch the converted youkai blast through a human with his chi.

"Hakkai!"

When he turned around, Hakkai's green eyes were as hard as stones, darker than usual.

"Keep in mind, these guys are just humans."

Hakkai smiled, "To be frank, Sanzo, I don't really care today."

Well that was just great. Gojyo was off playing hero, Jeep was hurt, and Hakkai was out for blood, no matter whose it was. It seemed like there wasn't very much else that could go wrong.

Furious, Sanzo spun around, robes and hair flying, shot an approaching enemy right through the head, and blood sprayed everywhere. "Damn you all to hell."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve: Fairy Tale

Gojyo ran after Shen persistently, even though the human had a pretty decent head start, "Stop running, you pussy!"

Shen just laughed, "What? You don't like follow the leader?"

Behind them was a gunshot, and then several more. Gojyo resisted the urge to look back over his shoulder. Goku would be fine, he assured himself. That kid's stronger than all of us put together, and then some. That consolation wasn't enough to ease the fear that was building up in his gut. Even now, Gojyo felt like something was terribly wrong.

The two of them broke through the trees and Gojyo saw a huge cave looming in front of him, its dark mouth open and waiting, inviting him to enter.

Cackling hysterically, Shen ran right in, daring Gojyo to follow as he did.

The hybrid only hesitated for a split second before going in too. Goku had thought he needed to warn him that this was probably a trap, but Gojyo didn't need that warning. He already knew that Shen was probably setting him up somehow, but he just didn't care. All he could think about was Jiya; he had to find her, somehow, and make sure she was okay. It wasn't right for her to get hurt over him.

He stepped cautiously into the mouth of the cave, "Jiya?"

His voice echoed back to him, mixed with the sound of dripping water. Other than that, the cave was silent, and it was so dark, he couldn't see how far back it went. Holding the reassuring, cold steel of his weapon, Gojyo ventured in further, eyes and ears alert for any sign of danger.

The cave was deeper than he had expected, stretching back deep into the hills; it was cold, and the further he got, the more nervous he became. Shen could be anywhere. He could have other men with him. They could be planning to shoot him. Or worse.

When Gojyo had gone about a mile into the cave, he stopped and shouted, "C'mon Shen, show yourself, you coward!"

There was shuffling up ahead, like someone was stumbling through the dark toward him. Gojyo stiffened and listened. He could hear heavy, belabored breathing now. He shifted his weight slightly, ready to attack, or defend.

Cold fingers touched his arm.

Gojyo yelped and got ready to slice whoever was there with him right in half.

"No, don't! It's me!"

"Jiya? Dammit, girl, you've gotta' be more careful! I almost killed you!"

The woman laughed, but it sounded forced and uneasy, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. That bastard ex of yours is nothing. What about you?"

"I don't know. I'm bleeding pretty bad."

"What?" Gojyo's heart stopped at the words, and his blood got thin and cold, "What do you mean you're bleeding? What did he do to you?"

"It doesn't matter. I think I can make it. But we've got to get back to the cabin as quickly as we can—there's no telling where he is or what he'll do."

"No way, you go back; I've got to kill this fucker, or he'll never leave us alone." Gojyo felt furious even as he spoke the words. Jiya. Shen had hurt her. Why? What did he stand to gain by hurting a woman? Just thinking about it made him so angry he could hardly stand it.

"I'm not leaving you." She insisted, slipping her soft hand into his, "I won't let him do this to me again. I won't let him kill another man I care for."

"But you're hurt."

"I'll be fine."

Gojyo hesitated, listening to her strained breath, "Can you walk?"

"Yes."

He sighed, "Well, all right, if you really won't go back." He squeezed her hand and tried to smile, even though he didn't feel like it, "Let's go."

"Thank-you Gojyo." She said in the dark, and they made their way forward, picking there way through the blackness for another mile or so until they saw light up ahead.

"Is that another way out?" Jiya asked.

Gojyo just listened to her, not answering. In the last ten minutes her breath had gotten heavier, and she was moving slowly. He wished he knew where she was hurt, but in the dark it was impossible to tell. Once they were back out in the sun he was going to have a look at her.

"Gojyo?"

"What? Oh. I don't know. Let's find out, I guess."

The pressed forward for a few more minutes, silent, until they could see that it was another opening that led out to a rocky, mountain side with a narrow path. There was no sign of Shen anywhere, but at least in the light Gojyo could get a better look at Jiya's injuries.

He was sickened by what he saw: there was a huge, gaping wound in the girl's stomach, spreading in a large circle across her blue dress, dripping onto the ground, the blood a dark, rich red. It looked like she had been stabbed.

"Shit!" the hybrid knelt beside her immediately, touching the wound, feeling how hot the blood was, and she shivered. "Shit! That's really bad! Why didn't you tell me it was that bad?"

"I didn't know."

"Like hell you didn't!"

She was quiet as he began to rip up her dress, doing his best to wrap strips of clothe over the wound and cussing the whole time.

"You shoulda' told me." He said, feeling more angry at himself than at anyone else. Why couldn't he ever protect the people he cared about?

"I-I'm sorry," she murmured, "but I didn't want to try to go back by myself…"

He tied off the last of his makeshift bandages and looked up at her.

"W-we don't know where Shen is…he's determined to kill me…"

"How did you get away from him?"

"He…he left me in this cave…"

Gojyo didn't like that. Shen was obviously using her for bait. That meant that he had likely walked into a trap. He stood up again, putting his hands on her shoulders, "You stay here, okay? I'm going to find that bastard and rip him apart, but you stay right here and rest."

"Gojyo," she clung to the front of his shirt, her voice pleading, "Gojyo…please don't leave me alone…please?"

The hybrid looked into her crystal, blue eyes. They seemed to glow in the dark, and they were full of fear. "Jiya…"

"I'm scared," she panted, leaning her head against his chest, "and I'm cold. I don't' want you to leave me."

With a sigh, Gojyo wrapped his arms around her, pressing her close, "It's all right." He whispered, "nothing's going to happen to you, ever again. I promise. I'm here now."

"He's been so cruel to me for so long. I don't know why I never left him before. I guess I was afraid…"

"It's okay. Don't think about it now. I swear I'm not going to leave you."

She sobbed slightly and he held her even tighter.

Gojyo felt something hot and warm on the front of his shirt and had to think about it for a moment before he realized that it was her blood, soaking through the bandages and getting on him. "Dammit," he muttered, "goddammit, you're hurt really bad…"

"I'll be fine if you stay with me…"

He took her hand, "I'm gonna' kill that sonnova bitch. I'm gonna' tear his filthy, rotten heart out."

Slowly, they began to make their way out into the sunlight. Now that he could see her clearly, Gojyo saw how pale and sickly Jiya looked, her eyes were fever-bright, her skin was clammy, and her whole body was shaking. Her blood looked disgusting. He ran a hand through her hair, hating himself for allowing this to happen. "Sweet heart, please…go back…"

"I'm not leaving you," she insisted, holding onto him all the tighter.

"But-"

A laugh echoed through the canyon around them, and Gojyo looked around panicked at the thought that they might have let Shen sneak up on them. The air was cool and gentle, warm with the easiness of summer, and the sun felt good on his bare arms after trekking through the cave. On one side of them was a tall, rocky cliff, and on the other side was a drop off that led down to the forest below. They could see for miles, back the way they'd come. Gojyo even thought he saw the plains he and Hakkai had walked across.

Hakkai…if only he were here with him now. He could heal Jiya, and then, together, they could take Shen apart, joint by joint.

The only thing spoiling the view was the horrific laughter that was coming from…behind them.

Gojyo whirled around, just as Shen emerged out of the shadows of the cave, gun in one hand.

"So I tricked you after all. Good work, Jiya, just the way I wanted it."

"You monster!" Jiya shouted, her voice hoarse and tired, "I can't believe you're doing this!"

"I told you time and again, Love, you belong to me, and any man who tries to come between us must die. Of course, I never thought you'd have the guts to go and fall in love with a half-blooded slut like him."

"Shut up!" Jiya screamed.

"Your taste in men is just as bad as it ever was: first poor Lee, and now this guy. You really are brainless, my love."

"Please stop, Shen! Please don't hurt him!"

"What is it, Jiya?" Shen sneered, "Do you love him? That's much more than Lee could ever say, I suppose."

"Hey, asshole, just leave her alone! What'd you go cuttin' her open for anyway? You some kind of sado masochist?"

Shen laughed, "Oh no, nothing like that. You see, it's just that, now that she's fallen for you, I have no more use for her."

"You're fucked up," Gojyo snarled, "didn't your mother ever teach you not to pick on girls?"

"Afraid not. I guess I'm just not the gentleman that you are. And you'll die for your manners—sneaking into a man's home and seducing his fiancée. It's disgraceful."

"Why don't you just face the facts? You don't deserve her!"

"She's been with me for years, kid, and if I don't get to have her, no body does!"

"Shen!" Jiya screamed, "Just let it go! I don't love you! I never did!"

Shen's mouth tightened at that, "I suspected as much, but you still belong to me, Love. And thanks to your selfishness, you're going to see the man you do love die right in front of you, like the dog that he is."

"No!" She sobbed, holding on to Gojyo's arm so tight that her nails dug in. "No, please don't."

"You survived my poison last time, kid, but that's only because your youkai friend was there to save you. Well, he's not here this time. It only takes one hit, and you're a goner."

Gojyo's eyes flicked from Shen's face to the gun he was holding. He knew that was true, but if he could just dodge the first shot, maybe he could get an opening…

Without warning, Jiya let go of him and stepped around him to stand between the two men, spreading her arms out wide.

"Jiya?" Gojyo gasped, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Shen," she said, her voice a little more calm, her eyes brimming with tears that were already running down her cheeks, "I understand why you're angry…but…please…I do love him…if I promise to go home with you, if I promise to marry you, do you swear not to hurt him?"

"Jiya, no!"

Shen looked thoughtful, "Are you serious about that, Jiya? Would you really do that? You could be happy with this guy, you know." He grinned cruelly, "If he survives. Are you willing to give up happiness to protect him?"

She nodded grimly.

"Jiya, I don't need you to protect me, now get out of the way you crazy-"

"Gojyo, please. Don't try to argue with me…maybe this is for the best…"

"No. How can it be? Don't go back with this guy—he can't hurt me."

But she was already stepping forward, one hand clasped over her wound, "I'm ready Shen. Let's go home."

The man studied her for a moment, his eyes drifting away from her to focus on Gojyo, and then back to her. He smiled icily, raising the gun. Gojyo saw him squeeze the trigger but there was nothing he could do.

The next thing he knew, there was a loud echo of gunfire rolling through the hills and blood splattered all across his white shirt and face, bathing him in red the same hue of his eyes.

Jiya collapsed, bleeding from the chest. The bullet had pierced her left breast and penetrated her bones, likely going straight through to the heart.

"Jiya!" The hybrid caught her in his arms as she fell backward, blue eyes staring blankly, mouth gaping as she fought to breathe. He knelt on the ground, ignoring Shen and cradling her in his arms, "Jiya? Jiya, no! Goddammit!"

"Go-jyo…" she reached up with bloodied fingers, brushing them over his lips, leaving a crimson pattern on his skin. He thought he saw her smile and his heart sank. "Go…jyo…"

"Don't talk, don't talk."

Regardless, she pulled at his hair, gently, lifted her head the best she could.

The hybrid bent over her, straining to hear what she had to say.

"Gojyo…"

"Why did you do that? Why the fuck did you do that?"

"Oh…I don't know…" she shrugged slightly, "I guess…I thought you were…worth it."

"Don't say that! Don't say that now!"

"I should…have left him….a long time…ago…but, I was afraid….afraid of what he'd do…but…mee-ting…you…it gave me the strength…" she closed her eyes, "…don't forget that…I'm glad I…met you…I will…never…regret it…"

"I do," he whispered, "I wish I'd never even lain eyes on you if it means it's gonna' end like this!"

A look of sadness came over her features and she looked at him again, "Don't say that…please…"

"But-"

"Gojyo…Gojyo, I love you…I would have waited…I love you…"

Another shot echoed and he felt the bullet fly right past his head, rustling his hair. The hybrid had to jump up, dropping Jiya in the process. "You fucking bastard!"

Shen laughed at him, "Come now, do you think I'd shoot you with a bullet?" He dropped the gun and pulled out another: Gojyo recognized the banishing gun, and immediately the painful memories came back to him. He shuddered. "I've been saving this just for this occasion. The other gun was for dear, sweet Jiya."

The hybrid looked down at the woman who was laying at his feet in a pool of her own blood. Her eyes were closed again and she was shivering. "You bastard. You fucking asshole! Why? Why would you do that? Why would you shoot her like that? She was going to go with you!"

"Ah…maybe so…but she said that she loves you, and so I know that, even if she did go and live with me again, even if she married me, I know that she would always be standing by the window, looking down the road, murmuring in her sleep. She would always be waiting. For you to come back and save her from me. The true Knight in Shining Armor, rescuing the fucking Damsel in Distress. It wasn't enough to kill you, not when she loved you."

Gojyo was still staring at Jiya, not wanting to believe what he had heard. He could see that she was dying, each breath winding down so that soon she would simply breathe her last and disappear from his life forever.

"You loved her, didn't you? I thought at first that you were just a trouble-making punk, someone who would screw with another man's woman just for fun. But I could see it in your eyes: when I was going to shoot her and you got in the way. I could see how much you love her. Love." He snorted, "It's a very strange concept to me."

"Of course, I loved her," Gojyo growled, feeling the rage overwhelm him. He summoned his Shakujou, "of course I did. You said I wasn't capable of love…because of what I am…but apparently being any more or any less human had nothing to do with it."

"Love is a foolish sentiment."

It really is. Here I am, getting all fucked up over a woman…something I promised myself I would never do again…but…I just can't help it…she was so sweet…so kind. She would have waited.

I love you…

Jiya…Jiya, I love you too, more than I've ever loved anyone.

Maybe that wasn't saying much, but it was enough.

With a scream, Gojyo leapt at Shen, swinging his Shakouju, but the human managed to block it using a dagger he'd produced from his belt, "Are you off your rocker, kid? There's no way for you to win against me. Not when you're so upset you can't see straight."

Gojyo grinned, "Oh, believe me, I'll beat you."

Shen laughed again, "You're pathetic." He pushed Gojyo away and tried to slice him with the knife, but Gojyo ducked from his range. "Falling in love like a stupid kid."

Gojyo kicked at him, only to be blocked again and shoved off balance.

"You know, I was in love too, once. I was in love with the prettiest youkai girl in the whole village. Men for miles around were jealous of me." He swung a punch at Gojyo but the hybrid blocked it and returned with one of his own. Shen took the blow well and kept talking, "I was the happiest man in the world until that thing was born."

Gojyo's breath caught in his throat and he stared at Shen.

The human just smiled, revealing his yellowed teeth, "That's right, Gojyo. I had a son, just like you. I was young, and I was in love, so I didn't care very much, but secretly, I always despised him, because his mother loved him more than she loved me. The other children in the village teased him a lot."

He slashed at Gojyo again, and this time the hybrid was so caught off guard, the blade actually sliced into his arm.

"Maybe you know how that feels. My kid got a lot of shit thrown at him for what he was, from humans and youkai. And my beautiful Wei…she loved him so much. She did all that she could to protect him."

Gojyo's heart shuddered at the words as he tried to imagine his own mother, loving him, protecting him.

"But she was a fool. She died, protecting that little shit. He wasn't worth it." Shen grinned again, lunging forward and lashing out, the blade catching a lock of Gojyo's hair and severing it.

"You didn't." Gojyo snarled, feeling even more anger than before.

"Oh, I did. I told you I've killed two half-breeds—so far."

The anger shot through him like a fire, going straight down his spine, branching out every limb, and Gojyo reached out with in a simple motion and grabbed Shen by the shirt, "You filthy, fucking dick head."

Shen's laughter was hysterical, "Monsters like you have absolutely no right to be alive: no right to laugh, no right to live, no right to love. That's why I killed Lee, because your kind don't deserve the things that humans and youkai should have."

With a sudden cry, Shen punched him in the face, knocking Gojyo back, and fired his banishing gun, but Gojyo managed to get up in time to move out of the way.

"And you think you're performing some civil duty? You think you're making the world a better place? Let me tell you something," he spat out blood, "ass wipe; You can't make this world a better place. There's just no way—it's only going to get worse and worse as we go along, but your kind sure as hell aren't helping."

"What? Us humans?"

"No. People like you. Granted, the humans aren't doing that good a job, and neither are youkai, but the point is that people like you-selfish, asshole bastards who kill women and children for pleasure-are the scum of the earth: below the humans. Below the youkai. Below people like me."

"That's not possible. Nothing is lower than dirt."

Gojyo grinned in spite of himself, "You like to sneer at me, don't you? You like to spit at my hair and my eyes, even when, without these eyes and without this hair, I'd probably be just like a human. Not much difference there. But you make fucked up comments like that. Why is that? Do you remember what it was like? Stopping his little heart? Seeing his red eyes close? Your son? Did you think of him when you saw Lee? Did you think of him when you saw me?"

"Shut up!" Shen screamed, firing the banishing gun.

Gojyo dodged the dart easily, laughing as he did so, "Oh, that pisses you off, huh? You don't like to think about it. You don't like to feel guilty, do you? I may not be human or youkai, Shen, but at least my head isn't up my ass." He glanced at Jiya, "She thought I was some kind of Prince Charming, some hero who had come to save her from you. I guess that's pretty wistful thinking, but I can't really blame her, after you've been treating her like shit for years. Why wouldn't she hope with every fiber of her being that someone would come to take her away from you? Assholes like you don't deserve beautiful women like Jiya."

"I told you to shut up!" He fired again, twice this time.

The hybrid danced calmly to the side, letting the darts breeze by, "Your kind don't deserve anything. Not women, not laughter, not life and sure as hell you don't deserve love!"

He swung his arm in a single motion that was as fluid and as unbroken as sunlight, and the chain on his shakujou rattled as the crescent-shaped blade whistled through the air. It cut through Shen's arm like cutting through butter. The arm fell on the ground, flopping lifelessly, spraying blood everywhere, and Shen dropped to his knees, screaming.

Gojyo stood over him, "You know, I may not be as good as you. Maybe you're right. Maybe I don't deserve a beautiful woman like her either." He hacked the remaining arm off and kicked Shen onto his back. "But at least I'm not selfish enough to kill her, just because I can't have her. And that's the real difference between you and me: I'm a son-of-a bitch, and you're a crazy son-of-a-bitch."

"No, wait! Please don-"

Without flinching, Gojyo severed Shen's head, allowing the blood to spray on him. "That's the only goddamn difference."

"Gojyo!" Hakkai and the others emerged from the cave, just a second later. Sanzo looked annoyed, Hakkai looked worried, and so did Goku, but they were all right. Not that he really cared about that at the moment.

Like he was in a dream, Gojyo walked back to Jiya's body, standing over her, blood dripping off his arms and face. He stared down for a moment, and then he dropped to his knees, taking her in his arms and cradling her head against his shoulder. "Dammit, Jiya…goddammit."

"What happened to her?" Goku demanded, frantically, running over to him.

Gojyo didn't answer as the other three circled around him. He was busy, memorizing the feel of her in his arms, the smell of her hair, the way her skin felt when he pressed his lips to her face, remembering that night under the stars, their bodies twined together. For once he had belonged.

I love you.

I'll wait for you.

I've never loved anyone like I love you…

As the memories ran thick through his head, he found it getting harder and harder to keep it together; he glared up at Hakki, "Well? What are you waiting for? Heal her!"

Hakkai looked back at his friend, eyes sad, voice so gentle it was barely a whisper, "I'm sorry Gojyo, I can't."

"What do you mean, you can't?" Gojyo let go of his dying love, leapt up and grabbed Hakkai roughly by the shirt.

"The wounds are too serious. It wouldn't do any good."

"You don't want her to live." Gojyo growled, "None of you do. She's breaking up the team. She's getting in the way."

"Gojyo-"

The hybrid laughed suddenly, "Or maybe it's just that I don't understand love, right? Maybe only you understand that, Hakkai!"

Slowly, the youkai lowered his eyes, "No one understands how this feels like I do, Gojyo."

He knew his friend was right. He knew Hakkai had felt this way before, this incredible, unbelievably pain, only worse. It was so strange, to have Jiya gone. He'd only known her for a few days and still...it was like someone had taken a piece of his heart out, leaving him with the bad half.

"It sucks." He muttered."I mean, it really, really sucks."

"I know, Gojyo." His friend said quietly, resting a hand on his shoulder, "It's hard to let go of someone you love."

Gojyo felt himself choking on the words, and he didn't want to speak, but the thoughts came tumbling out, one after another, tangling in each other, melting so that they were all one huge lump of agony, "I should have...I could have...it was up to me..."

"That's part of life. We can't always protect the people around us. You couldn't protect her, that's not your fault."

"Shaddup, Hakkai," Gojyo snarled, but it was half-hearted, "don't feed me bullshit you aren't buyin'."

The youkai looked troubled, "It took me a long time to realize that there was nothing I could have ever, ever done to save Kanan. I spent years blaming myself for her death, and it didn't help. What's more, it tore me apart." He sighed, "I just don't want to see you making that same mistake..."

The hybrid grinned forcibly, "What the hell am I supposed to do? I was standing right there when he shot her. I just let him...how can I ever let that go?"

Hakkai didn't look at him as her murmured, "It's hard."

Hard. Everything was always so damn hard. Why couldn't something be easy for a change? He clenched a fist. After going so long, absent of love, living in a void, he wasn't ready to let go of someone who had loved him so much. "I just can't." He snapped, "I don't want to."

The youkai didn't hesitate to answer, but his voice was so quiet Gojyo almost couldn't hear it, "Then it will destroy you."

_Just like Mom...I never got over Mom...that almost destroyed me..._

He hated to admit it, but Hakkai was right. If he let it, if he didn't overcome this guilt, it would eat him. Still, he wasn't sure how...how could he just forget something so life-changing?

As if he could read his thoughts, Hakkai smiled, "It's not going to happen over night."

Gojyo had spent years not allowing anything to affect him. Why should this be different? Why shouldn't he be able to just let it go?

For the first time he was aware of Sanzo and Goku, standing solemnly to the side, just watching. He couldn't help feeling angry at everyone, even Hakkai, and he wanted to say wanted to lash out at someone and take his pain out on them; but he valued the fact that Hakkai understood, so he thought better of it and shut his mouth, letting Hakkai go and bending to gather Jiya up in his arms, "Oh, fuck it all." He held her close, taking a deep breath of her smell again, "Good bye gorgeous."

_You gave me strength…I would have waited for you forever._

Afterward

"I can't imagine what could be taking Sanzo and Goku so long. After all, how long does it take to buy a few supplies?"

"Hn. You know," Gojyo said from his place in the passenger's seat, "they probably stopped to eat."

Hakkai sighed, "Yes, I'm sure you're right. I suppose I'm just lucky to have convinced Sanzo to go into town at all."

"Damn, I sure as hell would like to eat at a nice place. This whole not being able to go into to towns shit is getting on my nerves."

"We'll be out of this region soon. Be patient."

"Yeah, yeah." Gojyo blew a puff of smoke through his nose.

"It's already been a week." Hakkai said quietly. "How are you holding up?"

"All right. I try not to think about it too hard. That helps."

"She was a brave woman."

"He was an asshole."

"Well, he certainly didn't deserve her."

"Feh. Women. I forgot, I'm not supposed to go getting attached to them."

"Still," Hakkai smiled grimly at him, "I suppose not even you keep from getting emotionally involved from time to time."

"Yeah…still, I don't know if it was all an accident or some kinda' sick joke."

Hakkai sighed, "I know that after Kanan died it took me years to finally accept that she was gone and that there was nothing I could do. At least you know you don't have to go through this pain alone."

"I guess I should just stick to what I know."

"I don't see that you have much choice," Hakkai said quietly, "you don't meet a woman like Jiya every day."

Gojyo reflected on that for a moment, "She was really willing to give it all up for me."

"I suppose one could argue that she did."

"Maybe I'm better off. Maybe I wasn't ready for that kind of a commitment."

"Few people really are. You might never be."

Gojyo glared at him but Hakkai just laughed. "Putting up with another person like that for a long time takes a great deal of patience."

"Believe me, I know."

"Don't worry," Hakkai smiled, "I won't be around forever."

The hybrid put his feet up on the dash, flicking cigarette ashes over the side of the car, "You won't, huh?"

"I think I've heard some where that we've all got to go some day."

"Well good." Gojyo rested his arm on Hakkai's shoulder, "hell would be really friggin' boring without you."

"Indeed." Hakkai spotted Sanzo and Goku coming up the hill, arms full of groceries, "Well, in that case, shall we take a couple of friends?"

If you liked this story, check out its prequel, Leaves in the Wind: .net/secure/live_?storyid=4159117&chapter=1


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